(Invidious link)

Own the riff: https://www.rifftrax.com/santas-space...

Here come's Santa's Spaceship! Because, apparently, a magic sleigh that can fly all over the planet in one night wasn’t enough for him. Honestly, it just seems a little greedy!

Santa’s Spaceship starts with a marionette cowboy singing a western song to an ailing reindeer, and gets weirder from there. All the marionettes living at the North Pole are worried about making the Christmas deliveries because the reindeer are getting old and tired. Rather than, say, try to help the reindeer who have served faithfully for so long, marionette Santa and his marionette friends decide to trade ‘em in for a used rocketship. The used rocketship salesman makes it pretty clear he will turn the reindeer into hamburger, but Santa goes through with the deal anyway. And still, somehow, it again gets weirder from there!

Grab a warm mug of rocket fuel and settle in with Mike, Kevin, and Bill for the marionette madness of Santa’s Spaceship!

Couldn’t get a ticket for a ride on a one-horse open sleigh? Did Santa find you hiding in the back of his sled and have you thrown out by his newest reindeer, Bouncer? Never fear, you can still find holiday themed transportation if you head down to the depot and join all the other sad sacks aboard The Christmas Bus!

From the description:

The "educational films" made by the lunatics at ACI Films have covered some dubious subjects: County fairs. "Doing words." And of course, making terrible crafts out of garbage. But still, we held out the faintest hope that when they tackled a legitimate subject like ‘reading’, they might reign in their insane tendencies and NOPE! That sure as hell did not happen!

Read On From Left To Right doubles down on the madness by throwing puppets into the mix. Just let that sink in for a second: an ACI short with puppets. Their names are Lem and Mel, and they make reading fun! And if you believe that, ACI has a fancy headdress to sell you.

The lesson of the short is basically, don’t try to read things backwards. Most teachers simply find it easiest just to tell their students that, without subjecting them to the mind-warping powers of ACI. But if you do choose to watch it, you’ll be treated to the trademark ACI cutaways, disembodied limbs, confused children, and puppets who loathe each other. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

From the description:

Whether you’re delivering a speech to the UN general council or giving a toast at your cousin’s wedding, there’s one thing for certain: you’re probably boring the hell out of everyone. Also, you’re using verbal communication.

In fact, verbal communication has made the AARP’s “Top Ten preferred methods of communication” list for nearly twenty years running. Last year it beat out grunting, crotch grabbing, going “EEEEEEEEEE” in a really high pitched tone, tilting your head back and to one side to indicate to the person sitting across the table from you to check out the person behind you, and semaphore.

But do any of us really know how to communicate verbally? Wait, we do? All of us? One of the first social skills we learn, usually by the age of 18 months? Well then why did Alfred Higgins make this short?

Your guess is as good as ours! It’s a crazy, mixed-up educational gumbo that includes ten year old Siskel & Ebert impersonators, rip offs of those silhouettes from The Electric Company, and children who have been given access to a functioning television production studio for some reason. Wait, maybe that last one does actually explain it...

Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill to learn all about how to go EEEEEEEEEE in a really high pitched tone Verbal Communication!

Well, at least in the city of Minneapolis.

Richard Kiel… IN SPACE!!!!

Honestly not sure what else we need to say, those four words should be more than enough. And yet, there is so much more than that going on in The Humanoid!

Trace Beaulieu's current comedy project. From the video description:

In this episode, Trace is Temrik and Temrik is Temrik and Temrik needs Temrik to be Trace again.

Trace And Temrik is a mockumentary series about two writers trying their best to create the next hit tv show, movie, commercial, product or really anything at all!

Everything about this series is improvised, from the dialogue to the camera work to the editing, with the goal of keeping the project underwhelming for all involved, including you!

Want to work with us for some reason? We can be contacted at TraceAndTemrik@gmail.com

We don't currently have any other socials, because that feels overwhelming.

Thanks for watching!

Okay, you can stop reading now.

The original film was also re-cut and released as "Get Even"

From Rifftrax.com:

The RiffTrax Pantheon is filled with hubristic auteurs who thought that they could write, produce, direct, and star in their own movies, despite the fact that they were previously software salesmen, architects, or miscellaneous. And now with Champagne and Bullets, we are pleased to welcome attorney John De Hart to this illustrious club. As a welcome gift, please accept fifty shares of NCT Software and a complimentary Doggy belly rub.

Chapters:

0:00 Taming the Sinister Urge
11:54 The Sinister Urge Introduction
14:53 The Sinister Urge

Chapters:

0:00 Poopie! II
14:58 Teen-Age Strangler

From the website:

Has this ever happened to you? You desperately need to get to Hell for an appointment, but the Highway to Hell is closed? Even worse, all the Surface Streets to Hell are shut down thanks to the annual Marathon and 5K to Hell? Well, good news - as long as you don’t mind a little illegal gambling and goopy alien attacks, you can get there quick with the newly available Flight to Hell!

Written by: Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, Jason Miller, & Zachary Shatzer. Riffed by: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett

Hat tip to Satellite News!

It's TV's wisecracking Crow! And the mad, mad, mad, mad scientist, Dr. Clayton Forrester!

"Oh push the button, Judy Garland!"

Chapters:

0:00 Lugosi Creeps: Making a Sinister Serial
9:46 Ring of Terror

Our beautiful big man with the voice of an angel, MST3K's very own Tom Servo! He's the wind, baby!

From Rifftrax.com:

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, why the hell did they make a sequel to a movie as stupid as the original Mirror Mirror?

Mirror Mirror 2 starts with the mirror vaporizing an obnoxious punk band, fronted by a shirtless idiot with a terrible haircut. But weirdly enough, it turns out the mirror is actually a bad guy!

The punk band had been hired to play at an orphanage, which is a direct rip off of the scene in Oliver Twist where The Artful Dodger stage dives during a Fugazi concert. This orphanage, despite being roughly the size of an international airport, houses only two orphans. It sounds like they’ve got it made, except for the evil mirror, which has a nasty habit of… well, we’re unclear what exactly it does. But every now and then a character will wince. We suspect the mirror is causing it, although it could be the character attempting to understand some of the movie’s many plot holes, such as: Why is the evil stepsister forty years older than her siblings? Does the creepy caretaker live on the premises? And is that really Mark Ruffalo??

Yes, acclaimed actor and occasional Hulk Mark Ruffalo made his film debut in this movie, playing a guy who emerges out of a mirror into a teenage girl’s bedroom while she sleeps. How is that character a good guy, but the mirror who vaporizes Henry Rollins’ Black Flag Babies is a villain?!

You don’t get any Rainbow Harvest, but you do get a hell of a lot more Raven Dancing. Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for Mirror Mirror 2: Raven Dance!

Written by: Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, Sean Thomason, Jason Miller, and Zachary Shatzer

From the description:

Own the short: https://www.rifftrax.com/behave-bernard

If only Bernie Madoff had seen this film, things might’ve been different. Oh he still would’ve committed massive acts of investment fraud, Behave, Bernard! doesn’t address that topic at all, but he could’ve at least learned not to tear up newspapers in the neighbor’s yard or steal fast food hamburgers. Yes, the Bernard in question here is a pooch, a canine, and he’s hell on four legs, baby. He’s reckless and wild. And his young owner Glenn, being named Glenn, is no match for the situation. But that’s not even the worst of it…

...Oh you want to know the worst of it? Hm yeah guess that ominous ellipsis did sort of indicate that was coming, reasonable assumption. Okay, well the worst of it is...Bernard SINGS. And despite what you might expect from a clumsy troublemaking dog named Bernard, the singing is NOT VERY GOOD. He sings and stumbles his way through life, leaving a wake of bloodshed and tears behind him, and he feels no remorse! Bernard is unstoppable! Behave, Bernard!? Ha! You might as well ask a sandstorm to behave! Welcome to the century of Bernard, he’s running the show now!

Hurry, while Bernard still allows it, and join Mike, Kevin and Bill for Behave, Bernard!

From the description:

Own the short: https://www.rifftrax.com/duck-and-cover

At last, the classic nuclear safety short that put the “fun” in “fundamentally unhelpful advice in the case of a nuclear attack” is available as a riff!

Nothing says “atomic death is nigh” like a cartoon turtle named Bert singing a playful song. Did the fallout transform a human man into a musical reptile? If that’s how it works, that’s not so bad, maybe we should embrace the bomb and enjoy our new lives as carefree animated turtles? Alas, these questions go unanswered as the film moves on to focus on real human children and real human adults in real human situations. There’s nothing funny about protecting yourself from a city-incinerating blast with… a folded newspaper on your head. Yeah. That’s pretty much it. That’s the best they could come up with. Good luck, kids!

It’s time to crawl under your desk with Mike, Kevin, and Bill, then stick your head between your legs and kiss your Duck and Cover goodbye!

From the site:

Dr. Charles Randolph (John Carradine) is a psychiatrist who dabbles in nutrition advice and bringing the dead back to life, with the help of his handsome new assistant.

Randolph’s young wife is horrified when she realizes what goes on in the operating room located right off the foyer of their enormous manor. Meanwhile, boundary-less housekeeper Maria tries Santeria to bring young wife and said handsome young assistant together. But then - his fiancee shows up unannounced!

Written by: Bridget Nelson, Mary Jo Pehl, Matthew J. Elliot, Zach Shatzner

Hat-tip to Satellite News.

It’s time for the 10th installment of the superhero serial we’ve been riffing for at least that many years! Time marches on, empires rise and fall, the oceans reshape the continents, and our plucky crew continues to drag out the mystery of which boring guy might be the Scorpion in the Adventures of Captain Marvel: Doom Ship!

When we first saw Doom Ship in the title, we assumed that must be the codename of a wood-paneled office or old-timey roadster, as those are pretty much the only locations featured in this serial so far. Boy were we surprised to see this episode contains actual seafaring! Well, seafaring on a fake boat in a studio swimming pool, but still, it’s something! There’s even water! Actual splashes of actual water! Shazam!

Yes, the quest for a… lens? Is that what this is all about?... takes our heroes out on the open sea, where they face a storm. Did the nefarious Scorpion create this storm? No, it’s just a storm, the Scorpion’s not that powerful, sort of just a guy with a hood really. Nonetheless, it’s action-packed, and at one point you get to see Billy Batson throw some punches and tackle a chair! To reiterate: Shazam!

Join Mike, Kevin and Bill for what is absolutely, undeniably the 10th episode of the Adventures of Captain Marvel: Doom Ship!

Written by: Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, Sean Thomason, and Zachary Shatzer

Big thanks to The Satellite News!

"How fortunate! This simplifies everything!"

TIME FOR GO TO BED!