this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2025
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2meirl4meirl
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I think some of it comes down to the fact that quite a few guys aren't set off by things that tend to set women off. It's like the meme of "I can't believe he didn't cry at Titanic" and then the bottom is the dude with the shadows over his face looking at the ending for Of mice and men. I think a lot of guys need either the right build up or just the right trigger to actually cry due to emotional reasons.
Though I do think it's at least partially due to toxic masculinity, but at least for myself I tend to just feel hollow at rather than wanting to cry. The type of emotion that makes you want to take a hot bath and lay in front of a fan for a couple hours. Though I do openly ball my eyes out when my pets die.
As a woman, it's wild how much hormones affect things. Most of the time, I can walk by a playground where kids are playing and not think much of it. But when my estrogen levels peak, the sound of happy children hits me deep - their laughter reminds me of the pure joy of childhood. How it feels to swing on a swing without a care. Having nothing to worry about except being tagged during a game. Knowing there are people who will look out for you, unconditionally, so you don't have to worry about affording rent or food or health care.
I'm instantly filled with the sense of happy freedom they're expressing, which is so beyond adulthood experience that it can overwhelm me. That's when I start to cry.
I'm well aware of the downsides of childhood. Still, in those moments, it's like the kids' collective happiness transfers straight into me and my brain doesn't know what to do with so much innocent bliss.
So, I can concede that there is likely at least some hormonal influence that results in different emotional perceptions for different people. I'm already very empathic, but peak estrogen seems to dial it up to 11.
Then toxic masculinity attempts to exaggerate such differences, while also misapplying the concept in order to separate people into assigned gender roles. Boys are absolutely socialized to suppress many of their emotions, while girls aren't subject to the same rule. Except, of course, with anger or public sadness. (Crying alone? That's expected. But not smiling while in public? That's a sin.)
Like most things about people, it's a mix of nature and nurture (and epigenetics.)