this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2025
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That's not really what the tweet is describing though.
This tweet is specifically about the fake persona that we have to craft for people so we don't get hate crimed for merely existing. Pretending we're straight for years and causing insane amounts of mental anguish, having to hide whole core parts of who you are because your parents might not approve and possibly indeed don't, having to live as a man when you know you're a woman because you're afraid someone is going to kidnap you off the street. That's what the tweet is talking about. That living your life as the image everyone else wants you to be for so long it starts to become difficult who you are and who your portrayal is for everyone else. So when you do come out, there's a massive amount of figuring out that you've got to do. Do you talk like this because it's how you naturally talk or is it because your natural voice would have people stare? Do you walk different? The innate fear you get when you first hold someones hand in public. Not just the fear of homophobia, but the fear internally about is this really who you are.
Being queer comes with an insane amount of second guessing literally every single part of yourself because who you are isn't you. It's who you had to become to survive.
Not saying that Cis people can't relate, just clarifying what was meant here by the tweet. It's not just parsing coding that you've gotten from your parents but from society as a whole because you were terrified of being killed otherwise.
I dunno man, I just read the tweet and said "I feel that." I'll grant you I feel it in a different way and even allow that it's not to the extent of a gay or trans or queer person.
I'm also not gonna sit there and say I have friends who are gay. I do, but I wish I had more. I have a niece who had a friend in school who was trans. The friend's parents made them dress like their birth assigned sex, and my niece and her friends would bring them the clothes they wanted to wear. It was awesome. They're all grown now. I'll have to ask her if she still talks to that person. I wish I had friends like that, experiences like that growing up.
But I'm just me, and I try to be an ally, but at the end of the day, I'm just me. I can relate, but maybe my experiences aren't the same. I don't think they have to be, though. To say I feel ya, no judgment here.
I grew up closeted queer (trans and ace) and the only non-queer facet of me that I could also describe as closeted was my religion. I grew up in a very Baptist area and I was not any flavor of Baptist. I was Catholic in a county with maybe 0.3% Catholics. My classmates were all about Bible camp and questioned whether Catholics were even Christians. You better believe I masked as generic Christian.
Then I went to college several states away and figured out I could just be as queer and agnostic as I felt.
Edit: saying yes, non-queer folk can grow up closeted and masking, but it's not the same as just figuring out who you are as you age. There's fear and hiding yourself for safety's sake.
/u/cerebralhawks did understand the tweet.
In short he wrote that everybody has to adapt his persona in some ways to fit into society and the expectations of educators. Some adopted easily, some also with mental anguish. (Think about not talking/not pursuing about your favorite interest because it is not cool, or because parents deem it to girly for a boy)
Nearly everybody has to sort this out when growing up/taking initiative to make choices out of interest and personality and not because of the environment. (and one of them can be: I am not my assigned gender!)
He also aknowledged that queer people have to deal with this more on average.
Please point out where I said he didn't.
I merely clarified why the tweet was saying QUEER when he said that Cis Straight people can relate too. I did not reduce his contribution, I merely elaborated on the original tweet. I mean... I literally said the words
Yeah this isn't unique to being queer dude. Every time someone tries to empathize with you and you interrupt them about how doubly special your own problems are, you are punishing them for trying. Do you think that's a good way to get people to care about your perspective?
Please point out where I said that it was.
I merely clarified why the tweet was saying QUEER when he said that Cis Straight people can relate too. I did not reduce his contribution, I merely elaborated on the original tweet. I mean... I literally said the words
Did I copy and paste most of this comment from another one I just made? Yes. But I genuinely don't know how y'all thought I was somehow attacking him when I literally said the words I am just clarifying the original post. Mainly because, oh I dunno, it's a queer tweet from a queer person posted by a queer person to a queer community. Like I felt it was worth calling out the extra pressure that we feel due to the fear of being M U R D E R E D.