Spoke with my GP a couple of months ago, and she sent out a referral to a specialist for trans healthcare. Trouble is, I don’t have any contact info for the specialist, and haven’t heard a peep from them, so I have no real timeline as to when I might be able to get on HRT.

Dysphoria is really kicking my ass though. Feels like everything is somewhat unreal, like I’m distant from reality with a bad connection - likely a pervasive form of brain fog. This has built up as I’ve gotten older, and really started to kick hard when I came out to myself as trans. Brain is obsessed with transitioning and it’s making life difficult to focus and do day-to-day tasks.

Depression and anxiety have been well under control for years thanks to medication, and this feels different from both. The only thing that shuts up my dysphoria for a few hours is THC, and that’s not a good coping strategy long-term. I’m not sure what to do.

Been doing vocal training on my own, that’s helped. Not interested in changing the way I dress at the moment. I try to do little affirming things every day, but it’s not a whole substitute for E. If anyone has any advice, it would be much appreciated.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] jeze3d_dmg@beehaw.org 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I remember these days. Coming from someone who transitioned over a decade ago I know this anxiety well. Know this- your t poisoning won’t adversely affect your body any more than it already has. You’re only going to get better from here.

Take a deep breath and focus on the excitement of future change for the better. You’ll get there, I promise! Try to ease your mind as best as you can and know that you’re doing everything possible. 5 years from now this will all be a distant memory.

Thinking back to those times I don’t envy you. I was an anxious mess but that anxiety drove me from starting HRT to having full top and bottom surgery in 4 years time. It’ll drive you, but don’t let it control your entire life.

You’re doing it, my friend. You’re well on your way. 💜

[–] Gaywallet@beehaw.org 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I would encourage you not to frame testosterone as "poisoning" - there are people, notably trans men, for which testosterone is desirable.

[–] heliodorh@beehaw.org 2 points 2 years ago

Really appreciate this post!! 💜