chapotraphouse

• Mandatory enforced veganism
• Billionaire gladiatorial fights
• Ban smoking (vapes will be allowed for a 5 year transitional period)

LSD micro-dosing the entire population.

Write into law that there is only one type of Christianity allowed. Every five years the knights of columbus and the freemasons select their top guys for a gladiator fight. If the Knights win then catholicism is the official religion for 5 years, if the masons win it's protestantism.

My crank project isn't even a crank project: bringing back a great freight rail network with carload service (dropping off boxcars directly next to factories) would be immensely beneficial for cutting emissions. Night trains, bringing up the system to a state of good repair, increased speeds, increased frequency, I'm basically just adding on to your already great plan.

Mine would just be an effort to roll back the holocene extinction as much as can be done, which includes environmental reconstruction, resurrection of extinct species, and careful reintegration of collapsed ecosystems. That and rebuilding the six grandfathers over top of mt rushmore.

• An eco-corps jobs program tasked with removal of invasive species and restoration of degraded habitats.
• The best elements of scouting would be folded into the education system and become the core of its new outdoor skills portion. Everyone would learn how to safely & responsibly conduct themselves while enjoying the outdoors.

I would build a giant space station that's basically entirely solar panels with some kind of magnetic dust shield that would be permanently in sunlight, then it would beam electricity down to earth or something.

All golfers must continue to golf, they may not leave the course, they may not stop golfing...

While they're occupied, we finally achieve faster than light interstellar travel. After we all take to the stars, whatever golfers remain shall inherit what is left of the earth.

I'd try to make the education, society, and culture in such a way to try and make almost everybody gay or bisexual to see how much nurture affects sexuality

Sponge Cities!

I'd take the best aspects of metric and amerikkkan measurement systems and invent DOZENAL METRIC. In fact, all math and counting will be done in base 12.

Build a railway through central America, terminating in Brazil, up through Canada to Alaska and then across to Russia.

Switch the internet from a server-client infrastructure to a p2p one with a small cache on every router using something like IPFS.

Thinking of actual crank projects. Mine is probably nuclear powered ships. Decarbonize the oceans!

I'm so into it that I made a video about it

Convert all standard mathematics from base 10 to base 12

So many agroecological community gardens, so many communal kitchens, bread ovens, and collective food system infrastructure. All food is now grown in agroforestry systems where the farms are also biodiverse refuges for fauna and flora. I would be the single-minded food dude, like but for mindful food production.

Also, everyone learns (from other people) to forage local herbs and mushrooms.

Legalize Nuclear bombs. Blow up the moon

a massive cloning facility for bees

boooooorrrrring

gladiator games are back for good

i would build everything that would give my granddaughter a better life

National program for graphic novels.

National program for more frogs

National program for the preservation of songbirds

I would pick the last one. Love those little guys so much. Hearing a cool bird keeps me alive sometimes.

Duodecimal system baby, fuck this non divisible by 3 system.

We counting on our phalanges now.

Virtual drug test dummies. I would commission huge banks of supercomputers to simulate the human body for rapid drug tests and general research, and dump money on quantum computing. Idk if this counts as a crank project but it would definitely be immense.

Every shitter gets a biogas generator and we stop extracting natural (petrochemical) gas but use the existing pipelines for renewable sewer gas power

someone else brought this idea up a couple weeks ago but its been stuck in my brain ever since:

1. seize all gold stores from the wealthy/governments of the world
2. bring the best and brightest computer system engineers and scientists together and develop a new standard of solar-powered computing that emphasizes durability, accessibility, and low power consumption above everything else.
3. melt down all the gold from 1 and use that stockpile to construct public computer services and interfacing devices that are handed out or otherwise available for everyone to use cheaply
4. slowly spin-up new solar-powered datacenters, decommission/cannibalize existing datacenters and sell off those resources to recoup the costs of the project.

thats the view from 10 billion feet up. i think it would be pretty neat.

I guess I would go huge in on wetlands revitalization in order to have more cute frogs to look at. I would also hire a team of experts to come up with justifications as to why our society required me having a real life Gundam.

Try to make local and sustainable industrial productivity with solar metal casting and distributed network of CNC machines.

https://hackaday.com/2022/11/07/smelting-solar-style/

https://hackaday.com/2023/06/25/automate-away-the-drudgery-of-cnc-manufacturing/

~~backyard furnace~~ backyard solar smelter -

i would make every US state square shaped, including hawaii but excepting the then independent republics of florida and alaska

I would put arcades in the public libraries and by extension nationalize professional

Yes id still do the rail/green energy/mass housing megaprojects, but those arent crank enough