this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2025
119 points (98.4% liked)

Not The Onion

17264 readers
867 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 14 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ef9357@lemmy.world 5 points 18 hours ago

Yeah, they want more kids for their pedophile club. Pretty sure it didn’t stop with Epstein.

[–] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Oh dear this is gonna cause so much poverty.

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 13 points 21 hours ago

that's the goal

[–] BremboTheFourth@piefed.ca 30 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Forcing" would be more accurate. "Helping" is a very pointed choice of words here, as that would imply supporting science. Maybe they could start by not promoting policies that reduce access to IVF.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 6 points 1 day ago

He would hook them up to machines if they could, like the ones in some movies and shows.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 8 points 23 hours ago

Wait... The conservatives want sex ed now? Apparently with a practical exam!?

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hitler had a similiar program.

I'm fully expecting them to introduce "Trump Youth Programs".

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

What will they call it? "Young MAGA"? Or just rip off straight from South Park and go with "Lil' Q-uties"?

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 3 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I want them to be called the "Make America Great Again Youth", but I'm not sure if the acronym would offend the correct group.

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago

"MYAGA"? Make Young Americans Great Again?

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 day ago

My guess is Young Americans. Nobody in US could complain about that without getting lynched.

[–] muffedtrims@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

Blessed be the fruit

[–] onslaught545@lemmy.zip 24 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I'm not sure why anyone would think this is satire. They need fodder for the war machine.

They haven't been quiet about wanting to ban birth control and abortions.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago