this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2025
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Witchy Memes

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He just lays there (infosec.pub)
submitted 2 months ago by ickplant@lemmy.world to c/witchymemes@lemmy.world
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[–] Dagnet@lemmy.world 60 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Oh nice, I can cross that from my checklist

✓ Have a threesome
✓ Have sex with the devil.

[–] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 42 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But it's only premarital sex if you get married afterward

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'd totally marry the devil if I could. He seems nicer than most men I've met.

[–] SippyCup@feddit.nl 3 points 2 months ago

Salem 1692, the devil hangs out with some girls in the woods, they party and dance for a bit before he goes home.

Later, regular men literally crush them with big fucking rocks for no reason.

You know what, you're on to something.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

If you believe that stuff then they gave us free will, I'd say that's about good thing but I've also met other humans and the more I meet the more I think that night have been a mistake.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 29 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

(2 pts.) Question 6.
Following the statement above, premarital threesome is :

a) A foursome since devil joins them.
b) A sixsome since there is 3 premarital sex equaling +3.
c) A ninesome since the 3 devils are not married to each other and summon 2 more which summons one more.
d) A premarital sex.

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 months ago

Answer: Yes.

[–] LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 months ago

I love c, that’s hilarious

[–] Loulou@piefed.blahaj.zone 25 points 2 months ago (3 children)

And afterwards it's with Jesus.

[–] ColdSideOfYourPillow@piefed.social 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

When you're marrying, if you look closely in the corner, you can see Satan and Jesus doing it together.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

1000001988

[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

how can I forget this

[–] GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Are you kidding? Im saving this for future use! Got some religious relatives to annoy.

[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Jesus doesn't participate he just likes to watch. He's always watching.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 months ago

He's a peeping tom.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Jesus getting the sloppy seconds.

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 months ago

They're properly they/them in the original text, so no matter who you are, it's gay.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 11 points 2 months ago

The problem with having a three-way with the Devil is he starts smoking BEFORE everyone's finished.

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 7 points 2 months ago

Hey cool, so if it was already a threesome...

[–] DaniNatrix@leminal.space 6 points 2 months ago

The grammar makes my brain itch a bit, "every premarital sex"? How many premarital sexes are there? And where do they hang out so I can make sure I...totally never hang out with them lol