this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2025
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While Andrew initially announced he would no longer use his royal titles, there were further damaging allegations about his relationship with paedophile financier Jeffrey Epstein, prompting the King to formally remove his honours.

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[–] EndOfLine@lemmy.world 53 points 5 days ago (2 children)

For the crimes of sexual assault of minors I sentence you to be called MISTER Andrew Windsor! You must also downsize your nearly rent free free housing to a mere 5,000+ sqft cottage next to Windsor castle. It pains me to be so harsh to my own brother, but an example must be made. Let this be a warning for all pedophiles throughout the kingdom!

-- King Charles, maybe

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 21 points 5 days ago (3 children)

To be fair, the king can't just arbitrarily throw someone in the dungeon anymore.

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 13 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

They have known about this for years and protected him. In this case, they probably did have the means to make sure he ended up in prison, and probably still do.

[–] nogooduser@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

I read an article on this a while ago and I’m not sure what UK crimes he is known to have committed.

Our age of consent is 16 so he didn’t sexually assault a minor. If he did what he did then in the present day then he’d have broken sex trafficking laws but those laws were weak or non existent at the time.

Obviously, there’s a fair chance that he did commit a crime that we don’t know about and finding out about that would be made very difficult due to who he is.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Depends on the king. Trump does it to thousands.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

That's no king, that's a cheesy conman

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 days ago

Most kings who didn't came to power through birth right did it it through crime and violence and made themselves king. Only with Trump people voted for it. What a boring dystopia we live in.

[–] LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 14 points 5 days ago (4 children)

That truly is a brutal punishment. I understand he deserves punishment but I can't condone something so horrific. 5000+sqft is inhumane 😢

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 1 points 3 days ago

It's worse than that, I'm sure Charles also gave him a stern talking-to.

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

He might actually have to see the help, I am aghast

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 1 points 4 days ago

If you're gonna give him something like that, you ban staff.

Hilarity should ensue.

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[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 41 points 6 days ago (2 children)

When I read the "HRH" title abbreviation it reminded me of my first trip abroad.

I am a Swede and in the early nineties me and my family decided to take a trip to the UK, we took the family car and dad drove to the ferry, this was a Swedish car, with Swedish plates, and a clear national identifying sticker on the back noting us as Swedes.

As we drove around in the UK, we noted that a lot of cars seemed to flash their indicators at us, weird....

It took a few days but then we realized that our registration plate said "HRH 123", and we felt quite self conscious after that...

Anyway that was my story, and I'd rather post about that than read more about the shithead this article concerns.

[–] comador@lemmy.world 13 points 6 days ago (1 children)

At least it wasn't HMS or you may have had a bunch of Seamen chasing you around.

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[–] egrets@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

In my embellished mental image of this, you're careening down the wrong side of the road, puzzled why everyone's flashing their lights at you and honking, until one of you says, "Oh, it must be the number plate."

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 6 points 5 days ago

Hehe, I was thinking about that as I wrote it....

Here in Sweden, we normally make fun of Norwegians with stupid jokes, and we have one about a Norwegian guy traveling to the UK with his car.

He is driving down the motorway in the UK, listening to the radio when he hears this:

"This is an emergency alert, there is a car driving against the flow of traffic on the A1 just south of Newcastle...."

The Norwegian blurts out (in Norwegian):

"One? There are thousands"

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 5 days ago

Great. What about his prison sentence?

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 22 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The Andrew formerly known as prince

[–] FEIN@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

who innapropriately produced white rain near the wrong audience

[–] Bonesince1997@lemmy.world 21 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Anything but prison time, eh?

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 days ago (3 children)

The King of England doesn't have the power to arbitrarily jail someone any more.

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[–] comador@lemmy.world 22 points 6 days ago (3 children)

New titles include:

  • Prince Pedophile
  • The Royal Derrière
  • The Keeper of The Hooker
  • Guardian of The White Van
  • The Little Diddler That Could

and many more.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 32 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The Nonce formerly known as Prince.

[–] LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

That one is amazing. I'd guild you if i could

[–] ButteryMonkey@piefed.social 9 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Haha i did indeed thanks

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[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 4 days ago

NONCE PRINCE OF england,

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

General Hooker was an American general during The Civil War.

He can't have that title.

[–] vrek@programming.dev 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Ok these are horrible crimes but is that real? If so do you have a source of any stories about him?

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[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 19 points 5 days ago
[–] reddig33@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago

In exchange for his own mansion and a yearly stipend.

[–] manxu@piefed.social 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Awkward. That's his younger brother.

[–] Album@lemmy.ca 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yep so you know it's bad because Royal blood is pretty thick.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

actually they all have hemophilia, so pretty thin.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

What's the reverse of hemophilia? I clot IV needles. They won't let me give blood anymore because I clot the needle so fast they've never gotten more than a cup or so.

Edit: I'm O+ so a half universal donor, so I would wager that they wouldn't normally turn me away.

[–] tuck182@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago (2 children)

What's the reverse of hemophilia?

Hemophobia?

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[–] MourningDove@lemmy.zip 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Totally the types of things that happen to people that are not kid-fuckers.

[–] bytesonbike@discuss.online 1 points 4 days ago

Apparently this freaking creepo went to Thailand in the 2000s and demanded teens. And that's on record by the like court Historian.

[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 10 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I'm glad they caught the one person involved in this ...

[–] pressedhams@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 5 days ago

Yea, it’s nice to see someone finally be held accountable. /s

[–] SeeYouOsciLator@lemmy.wtf 1 points 4 days ago

What about a conviction and prison sentence? "oh noooo, boohoo, no more titles, the inhumanity! The suffering, the horrors!"

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 1 points 4 days ago

Their kids now officially outrank 'em looool

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

We need to figure out what to call him now, I guess. Can’t call him Prince Andrew. How about “Handsy Andy, Duke of Diddleshire?”

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 4 days ago

the grand duke of nonce england.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

How long until he meets the same fate as Ian Watkins?

That could well happen

[–] blazeknave@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

Have they said or inferred the quiet part outloud at all through any of this? In justifying the punishments? What's the official story?

[–] discosnails@lemmy.wtf 4 points 5 days ago

Idk how they think that this is going to excuse them all obviously knowing and condoning his actions for decades. Break out some of the good old shit from the tower. I bet the views for drawing and quartering that slimy bastard would be epic.

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