this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2023
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[–] bi_tux@lemmy.world 43 points 2 years ago (3 children)
[–] violetraven@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 years ago

Mom here. I'm proud of you. πŸ’–

[–] shandrakor@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago

Well I love you and I'm proud of you for being you (=

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

Well that’s a shame. They oughta be folks you can be yourself around

[–] Triple_B@lemmy.zip 42 points 2 years ago

Your drinking is ruining our relationship, and your relationships with your grandkids.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 39 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I could tell them I get wasted every Friday and no one would bat an eye...but my mom would have a heart attack if she found out I've ever been in the same room with marijuana. I'm in my 30s. Some things are better left as secrets

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] Dellyjonut@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Electric cabbage

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

The ironic part is that her favorite relative outside of our immediate family is my cousin who I learned - to no surprise of my own - smokes a TON of weed.

I have no reason to hide it from my dad but...what's the point? Even if he doesn't tell my mom, we're not gonna share a joint or anything

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 25 points 2 years ago

"hit me up on Grindr for some good bussy."

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 20 points 2 years ago

That I'm not doing as well as I thought I might be doing.

[–] SaberKazd@sopuli.xyz 19 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I tried to kill myself. Twice. I would either have to deal with my old man's shit or break my mom's heart, neither of which I could tolerate.

[–] JewGoblin@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

I'm glad you're still here, yes, you will break your parents heart.

I've known too many young men that took their own life, and the aftermath is life changing for the entire family and friends, but mainly the family.

I hope you're doing well, and whoever you are, you're in my thoughts

[–] __@fedia.io 3 points 2 years ago

I'm sorry you were in that position, and I hope you're doing much better now?

[–] JoeKrogan@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Stay strong. πŸ€— . I hope you are keeping well

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I am choosing between living with them and homelessness. Otherwise, I would be anywhere else.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 4 points 2 years ago

That's harsh man, that must feel awful.

[–] Dasnap@lemmy.world 18 points 2 years ago (2 children)

They're buried at 51Β° 23' 3.0372'' N 2Β° 21' 47.9916'' W

[–] MicrosoftSam@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Should someone look into this?

[–] olicvb@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 years ago

eh it leads to the middle of Gay st., Bath UK. So likely troll location like when people point to the white house in similar context.

spoileror maybe that's what they want you to believe. Dun Dun DUNNNN!!

[–] Dasnap@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Nah, I just told the family that Hammy had to go and live on a farm :(

[–] TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz 3 points 2 years ago

It's a street in Bath in the UK, 39 Gay St https://maps.app.goo.gl/hv8AjxTcnJyVqetb6

[–] shandrakor@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

One specific family member, hope that's okay. But I could never tell my mom about when I was molested on a work trip with her ex-partners company. One of the families took in troubled boys and I woke up in the cabin with him in my bed. Hands in my clothes and drunk as hell. I beat him so bad. One of the other actual children of employees woke up and helped pull me off him and got him out of there. We never talked about it. I don't know what he(the helper) knew at the time. What I do know is if I ever tell my mother this she will drive and she will one hundred percent kill the people who brought that monster into my life. And I love her too much to put her through that (both having to hear it, and the murder, and the subsequent jail time).

[–] MaroonMage@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That sounds terrible. I hope you are doing ok now.

[–] shandrakor@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

It was, but I am actually doing really well now, generally. Stable and supportive partner. Love and joy on the daily!

Have some health issues but I feel like who doesn't these days? It does make having friends a struggle but I have a lot of.. acquaintances and small relationships can be fulfilling, in their own way.

Generally great relationships with my family, minus several humans who have been downgraded to biological associates.

On the whole pretty excellent and like to think I'm doing as well for those around me as I can despite my limitations.

Sorry, unsuspecting victims, for the wall of text, the word vomit needed out, I suppose.

[–] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The skin you have in your lips is the same type of skin in your butthole. You are welcome

[–] rostby@lemmy.fmhy.net 9 points 2 years ago

That’s why they’re so chapped then

[–] skybreaker@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago

I don't want to be around you.

I wouldn't tell my loved one that because I DO want to be around her.

[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 9 points 2 years ago

You're all annoying, some a lot more than others.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Any one of you could die today and I may not even find out, and most likely won't care.

I should clarify that I can't tell my loved ones this because it's not true. No offense, but I don't know you and don't expect you to feel any different about me.

[–] violetraven@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My girlfriend wants to marry me and it's breaking my heart.

[–] Voltage808s@kerala.party 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] violetraven@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Because I'm already married in a poly relationship.

[–] Voltage808s@kerala.party 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Wait so you girlfriend does not know it's a poly relationship?

[–] violetraven@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

No, she does. She's just going through a hard relationship moment on her end at this time.

[–] shandrakor@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Okay, so my partner is just recently divorced from his years-estranged wife. He does not know if he wants to get married again, but I do. In loving him and being loved by him I found the reason people would want to tie their lives so fully with another's. You are theirs and they are yours.

This bothered me for a long time, and I promise I'm coming to something (that I think might be) relevant to your situation.

I read a book.. where the crawdads sing? I'm pretty sure. Anyhow a line in the book rang true with me, "we are married like wolves and geese are married" and I love that so much.

So, while you cannot marry her in a legal sense, you can be romantic as fuck.

Also! Just thought of this while typing. Do a commitment ceremony, nothing legal obviously but maybe do a cool cultural marriage ceremony like jumping over a broom around a fire or any of the myriad other marriage ceremonies other cultures use.

Anyhow I'm sorry she's having a hard time and I wish you and yours (and theirs (= ) all the very best. I can imagine a poly relationship could be difficult at times but it sounds like you're doing all the right things.

Stay awesome!

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Oh that sucks. Good luck to all y’all. Few states are worse to find yourself in than one where what’s normally exactly right for you is only almost when you’re stressed

[–] plz1@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

I'll likely retire before my parents, aunts and uncles. I won't tell them, I"ll just stop working and if they ask, I will say I'm an investment manager. Boomers and Gen X were shit with their finances, I guess.

[–] Transcendant@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm genuinely struggling to think of anything. I don't have a lot of loved ones but define them with the criteria "I can be my true self around them".

I have definitely lost loved ones because they couldn't come to terms with who I am (pansexual). Many people hate you for being bi, let alone pan. My sympathies to all those who have to hide, have been there. I've lived in rough places where I couldn't even allow a smidgeon of my true self to emerge, and it kills the soul.

[–] Nibodhika@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I don't mean to be offensive, but what is the difference between bi and pan? It always seemed a meaningless term because bi already covers basically everything.

[–] AnarchistArtificer@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Not the person you were asking, but I can provide an answer. Pansexual generally means attraction to people regardless of gender - sort of gender blind. A bi person (like me) might find that the attraction they experience to different genders is shaped differently, qualitatively β€” or the magnitude of attraction may be different β€” like if you were a 1 on the Kinsey scale, which means "predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual". Someone who's pan is more likely to be a 3 on the Kinsey scale, but also, it's possible to be bi and a 3, and that's subtly different.

There aren't set rules on this, it mostly comes down to what terms resonate with people. I'm someone to whom pansexual as a label could apply, but I identify as bisexual because that was the word that made me go "wait, this is a thing that's possible?". The terms people use are often rooted in history, personal or otherwise.

It's trickier to explain the lexical niche when I myself am not pan. It's like if you're working on a project and have someone passing you tools, and you reach a step that needs a particular spanner, of which you have two. You ask for one of those spanners, but despite it fitting many of your requirements on paper, it isn't quite right for what you're trying to do. You try the other spanner and it's perfect. Keeping both spanners is probably useful because on simple jobs, they are interchangeable, but when getting into nuanced, complex situations, having the choice is useful.

By this, I mean that I have also had the thought that "[Pansexual] seemed a meaningless term because bi already covers basically everything", but when you're talking to someone about different spanners and they say "that one isn't the same as that one. I need the other one", it's generally wisest to assume that this person has some insight that you don't have on these spanners, or their particular use cases β€” who am I to tell people what tools are most useful for them, after all? Like a lot of identity stuff, it's hard to explain, but it matters a lot to some people.

[–] clegko@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I'm pan as well, and I saw a funny video that that helps explain it to people who ask.

Bi: "Fuck you, and fuck you too"

Pan: "Fuck everyone"

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[–] Smokeydope@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

"I'm not interested in entertaining your whacky mentally Ill monkey bullshit. I don't care what shakespearean sob story you've spun for yourself to justify your poor self control. You are a grown ass adult, stop using a few traumatic life events that happened decades ago to excuse your current shitty actions.

My immediate loved ones are the only people I really really really try to have empathy for and forgive them for their poor self control and lack of trying to even consider improving themselves. Everyone else who tries to spin me their sob story for why they act like pieces of shit can get bent.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I don’t think I care for a significant portion of y’all.

Like on the whole you’re fine, but you’re no my loved ones ya know

[–] JewGoblin@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

I don't drink sugar in my coffee anymore

[–] atrielienz@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

I love you but being close to you is not good for my mental health and I am struggling through life right now and cannot spare the time or energy for your drama or mental illness.

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