barkybeak

I’ve been waiting two weeks for an Excel file I need for a mid-month report. The one person who can generate it is buried, so fair enough. It used to take him an hour. Now, with our carefully monitored AI “efficiency,” it takes about six days.

It finally arrives—fully merged and centered like it’s trying to win a design award. Undoing that one cell at a time is now my personality.

Meanwhile, I’m no longer allowed to use VBA, so I asked AI for an alternative. It suggested… VBA. I tried its version anyway. It converted everything into a table with hard-coded colors, so now adding a row requires manual painting. A bold step backward.

I would fix it properly, but the shade of blue must be exact or we trigger a departmental post-mortem on “lessons learned.” No one knows what the hex code means, but we respect it deeply.

At some point, I ask a coworker a question. He answers in 30 seconds, clearly, and wishes me a nice day. A glimpse of civilization.

Now my work is somewhere between my boss, her boss, and a VP who reports to the CEO. I’m waiting on feedback for something that used to take an hour and now takes a week.

Looking forward to next month.

You open a program for work… and suddenly it doesn’t work.

So you tell your supervisor.

They tell you to call the help desk.

You call the help desk… they can’t help.

They tell you to submit a ticket.

You go to submit a ticket… but first you have to create an account.

To create the account, you have to link your work ID.

To link your work ID, you need your phone for a code.

Then it makes you create a new password (not your usual one, obviously).

Then you have to verify your email.

You wait… finally get it… click the link…

…and it makes you log in again.

And grab your phone again. Another code.

Finally—you’re in.

Now you fill out the ticket, using that random username you were given on day one and told never to lose.

You submit it.

It says: “Pending supervisor approval.”

Your supervisor calls:

“Why did you submit this?”

So now you explain everything…

and walk them through it… step by step… because they don’t understand any of it.

They approve it.

You get an email:

“This will take up to 4 days.”

You need it done tomorrow.

So now you ask who to escalate to.

Your supervisor asks their boss.

Their boss asks someone else.

Eventually, a VP gets involved.

They tell you to contact a guy—Mr. Patel.

You call Mr. Patel.

He asks a million questions.

Eventually he realizes:

“This broke after a Windows update.”

So now he has to talk to his boss.

Meanwhile, your boss keeps asking:

“What’s taking so long?”

You explain… again.

You go to lunch.

Come back—Mr. Patel messaged you 5 minutes after you left:

“Call me.”

You call him. Voicemail.

He calls you back an hour later (because he was “in a meeting”).

He says:

“You need a new computer. That’ll take 5 days.”

Your boss’s boss is now on your case because only you can do this one task.

You ask if there’s another way.

“No.”

Now your supervisor tells their boss, who tells their boss…

and suddenly the VP calls you directly.

You explain everything again (for the 4th time).

He makes one phone call.

Suddenly—you have admin access.

You fix the issue in 5 minutes.

It’s now 6 PM.

You spent all day waiting, escalating, and explaining…

…and the thing you fixed?

Didn’t even matter—because the other team never showed up anyway.

You open a program for work… and suddenly it doesn’t work.

So you tell your supervisor.

They tell you to call the help desk.

You call the help desk… they can’t help.

They tell you to submit a ticket.

You go to submit a ticket… but first you have to create an account.

To create the account, you have to link your work ID.

To link your work ID, you need your phone for a code.

Then it makes you create a new password (not your usual one, obviously).

Then you have to verify your email.

You wait… finally get it… click the link…

…and it makes you log in again.

And grab your phone again. Another code.

Finally—you’re in.

Now you fill out the ticket, using that random username you were given on day one and told never to lose.

You submit it.

It says: “Pending supervisor approval.”

Your supervisor calls:

“Why did you submit this?”

So now you explain everything…

and walk them through it… step by step… because they don’t understand any of it.

They approve it.

You get an email:

“This will take up to 4 days.”

You need it done tomorrow.

So now you ask who to escalate to.

Your supervisor asks their boss.

Their boss asks someone else.

Eventually, a VP gets involved.

They tell you to contact a guy—Mr. Patel.

You call Mr. Patel.

He asks a million questions.

Eventually he realizes:

“This broke after a Windows update.”

So now he has to talk to his boss.

Meanwhile, your boss keeps asking:

“What’s taking so long?”

You explain… again.

You go to lunch.

Come back—Mr. Patel messaged you 5 minutes after you left:

“Call me.”

You call him. Voicemail.

He calls you back an hour later (because he was “in a meeting”).

He says:

“You need a new computer. That’ll take 5 days.”

Your boss’s boss is now on your case because only you can do this one task.

You ask if there’s another way.

“No.”

Now your supervisor tells their boss, who tells their boss…

and suddenly the VP calls you directly.

You explain everything again (for the 4th time).

He makes one phone call.

Suddenly—you have admin access.

You fix the issue in 5 minutes.

It’s now 6 PM.

You spent all day waiting, escalating, and explaining…

…and the thing you fixed?

Didn’t even matter—because the other team never showed up anyway.

![](https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/e8155aa3-fd43-44fd-9544-e9226295ccf7.avi