Off My Chest

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I am looking for mods!


1. The "good" part of our community means we are pro-empathy and anti-harassment. However, we don't intend to make this a "safe space" where everyone has to be a saint. Sh*t happens, and life is messy. That's why we get things off our chests.

2. Bigotry is not allowed. That includes racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and religiophobia. (If you want to vent about religion, that's fine; but religion is not inherently evil.)

3. Frustrated, venting, or angry posts are still welcome.

4. Posts and comments that bait, threaten, or incite harassment are not allowed.

5. If anyone offers mental, medical, or professional advice here, please remember to take it with a grain of salt. Seek out real professionals if needed.

6. Please put NSFW behind NSFW tags.


founded 2 years ago
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1
 
 

(lemming.world wasn't working for me so I'm on this account)

So, my dad is "hardcore Conservative". All he does is watch videos where the Conservative right-winger is portrayed as "always right" and he "owns"/"defeats" the liberal or leftist.

All the videos I hear about are mocking Arabs and Latinos, immigrants, and queer people, it's so annoying. And he goes on these rants about how evil they are, too, and he would probably think I was "forced" to become a lesbian and that the school I'm in "made" me.

2
 
 

My health insurance premium went up 27% this year. I used to pay $123 a month, starting January I will be paying $169 a month. That $46 a month is coming out of my grocery budget I guess. I've been going to a church every weekend and getting free bread. Most of the food pantries have hours during when I'm working, so that's out. I'm already doing shit like swiping TP and garbage bags from work to so I can purchase less of those things. I'm wearing my clothes indefinitely without washing if they aren't visibly soiled or stinky, and handwashing everything else and hanging it up to dry to save on laundry costs. I Cook everything from scratch at home. I don't own a car, cycle to work daily or take the bus during really bad weather. Outside of a 150 train ride to visit family, I get to take an actual vacation once per decade. I'm sleeping on the floor because my mattress is almost 20 years old and so uncomfortable. Once ever 7 - 10 years I upgrade my PC. I don't have cable or streaming services.

I'm lucky and I know it. I'm so scared for families with children, and people that don't have regular hours at their jobs or decent coverage through their work, and can't afford to self pay premiums via commercial plans. Families that were paying $700-800 a month for insurance are going to see those premiums go up even more. I can't imagine trying to feed an entire family on the pay we get. I'm paying $1300 for a one bedroom, I can't imagine having to rent a 2 or 3 bedroom. I feel like I'm barely hanging on, and I don't have the resources to help anyone else. Where I work there are tons of panhandlers are walking around hitting people up for food or money. 10 years ago, there were 0 panhandlers. The panhandlers are getting aggressive too. I had one put his hands on me when I told him up front I was having a bad day, I didn't want to talk to another human being at all, and I didn't have any $ to give, so save the story.

Stop the world, I want to get off this ride.

3
 
 

So, I (15F) have a girlfriend Amy (17F). But I'm polyamorous so I'm also talking to another girl Elizabeth (15F). I started talking to Elizabeth after a mutual friend introduced me to her and we're getting to know each other and find out if we like each other. We also are gonna video call and plan to meet up.

However, Elizabeth is also a trans girl so Dad won't let me see her if he knows she's trans, so I have to say she's a boy (she uses any pronouns, so...) and I will just use her more masculine/gender-neutral name "Alex".

Also, how do I have sex with her, because I'm curious, without getting pregnant and having my family know what's going on?

Elizabeth is also really freaky, us being teens and all, and I feel like she's changing me with her views on sex and all. My mutual friend of hers said she would definitely fuck me if we met up and started dating, and like I said, I am curious. I just don't understand what happened to turn me from mainly asexual/ace spectrum to really horny for this person.

I will not be impulsive and just get to know her more but DAMN. She (or the picture she sent of me) is also CUTE???

4
 
 

So, my dad and uncle both dislike immigrants and think they're all undocumented. Also, my uncle thinks only white people exist in Europe and he "likes it that way" despite it not being true.

Also, my uncle wishes the U.S., where I live, would be all-white and our ancestors are immigrants too because we're not Native Americans.

Weird...

Like, they're also fine with white immigrants (my dad), but my uncle hates all immigrants and they're always like "Speak English!" when they hear a Hispanic person talk...

5
 
 

I know I already posted here, but my aunt (who is my dad's brother's wife) is so rude to me. One time she tried to hit me, called me names, called me a "weirdo" and stuff, and thought I was subhuman and abnormal.

Trigger WarningAlso, she thinks I don't have "real" trauma or PTSD, which I was diagnosed with because I wasn't beaten severely or raped. I told her I have been sexually harassed before but not raped, and that I had a girlfriend 2 years ago who did that crap to me and she said it was my fault so it didn't count as trauma.

6
 
 

So hi, my friend said made a post (now deleted) asking for advice on my situation. Well, now I will vent about it. So this woman seemed nice and said she could read my future. I knew it was fake but it seemed fun and innocent, and it was free so I said sure.

She asked for a picture of my palm. Nothing bad, right?

And keep in mind I'm only a sophomore in high school, 15 years old. She then asked so she could do more "accurate readings" on stuff like who my future girlfriend would be, she had to get photos of my chest and hipbones and asked for more and more revealing skin each time.

Gross.

So I blocked her but I feel bad and I'm still kinda attached and regret blocking her because she said she would introduce me to a friend who was also a 15 yr old sophomore but then she wouldn't give away who it was right away and I didn't wanna keep this up.

7
 
 

People in the United States often takes pride in the fact in extreme free speech laws.

For instance, JD Vance can say :

“In Ohio, black people are stealing pets. They are taking cats and dogs. They are eating them!!”

He is lying. He knows he is lying. But because of lies, people are receiving death threats and bomb threats.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/30-bomb-threats-made-springfield-ohio-false-pets-claims-rcna171392

That’s considered legal speech in the US.

Many people will tell you “I don’t agree with what JD Vance said, but he has the right to lie. It's free speech”

You have members of Congress who say "We have a real muslim problem in this country"

Many people will tell you “They have a right to say that. Free speech"

The same way, Elon Musk is allowed to call journalists “utter scum” and "traitors to this country" in tweets sent to millions of people.

Again, people will tell you "I don’t agree with what he said, but it's free speech. He has the right to insult people"

Well, I have noticed Americans only accept free speech when it comes to punching down. Not when it comes to punching up.

For instance, if you say something such as: "Many of the most powerful figures on Wall Street are Jewish" they freak out. Notice I didn't even write "Most Jews are rich" or "Jews are bad people". Nope. I just wrote a sentence about the Jewish figures on Wall Street. That's enough for many americans to freak out.

Elon Musk lives in West Lake Hills, Texas.

If you publish Elon Musk’s personal home address, americans say “Wow dude!!! This is SO WRONG”. Isn’t that protected under american free speech? It's public information.

What exactly gives Elon Musk the right to call USAID employee "thieves"? What gives him the right to call a man pedophile? He can smear innocents in the name of free speech, but I'm not allowed to disclose the street where he lives?

Basically, americans are fine with extreme free speech as long as you punch down: Reporters, Muslims, Black people, Vulnerable migrants.

8
 
 

I absolutely love Wikipedia. It has almost replaced a good chunk of my school books back when I was in high school and it is still very useful now that I'm in university. Wikipedia and similar things are a dream that comes true

9
 
 

I do not get enjoyment anymore out of being online, not at all. I used to really love being online; Gaming, Reddit, Discord and all that. Especially certain games and Reddit (games due to MMO and Reddit because of fun video’s, niche communities and such).

However, for the past several years I actually do not like being online and even sort of despise it. There’s no fun at all anymore, everything is either AI, ragebait, politics turned into fights and just overall misery around the world (wars, fascism, racism and general hatred).

Even the communities that should be fun end up often enough into the same things as mention previously (such as politics, ragebait and hatred). I have even tried different platforms (such Instagram, Tumblr, BlueSky, Mastodon). Even Lemmy itself ended up with a lot of the same issues Reddit has.

Yet with knowing this, I still end up being online. Reddit, Lemmy and occasionally Instagram. It’s this kind of FOMO thing: ‘’what if there’s news about X thing’’ or ‘’there might be something fun now’’. Not only that, life its self is also not so fun and kind of boring (office work, work from home and some life circumstances) and due to that still end up being online.

This post is kind of three things; a rant, offmychest and a question to the reader.

So I was wondering; do other people have a similar feeling about the internet not being so fun anymore as it used to be?

10
 
 

I used to enroll in a school where every week, you'll see students being whipped either by teachers, discipline masters or the administration. I tried myself to avoid being in trouble and not get beaten but that failed as I got beaten every year in the school for any small mistake I made. I remember the time I got 10 hard strokes on my palms because I assisted in cheating in an exam. Imagine those red throbbing hands and you're still trying to complete an exam. That's why I decided not to help people in exams.

If you enrolled in that school and you didn't get beaten, congrats, you're an anomaly. This is cuz every student during the whole duration of the school year get beaten at least once. And I'm saying this cuz my class was collectively punished by cane. Sometimes when there's noise in my class, a teacher or discipline master just decides to beat the whole class including the students that didn't make noise and I was beaten too.

I was beaten for either coming late, forgetting to do assignments and failing some subjects. Most of the time I come early, but when I come late, it's usually because of a short program that forces me to come to school before 6:30 AM and if I come after, 2 strokes of cane, even at 6:31 AM. I hated those times. I was beaten for failing tests, kneeling down and opening my palms to receive either 5 or 6 strokes of cane. One assignment that I didn't finish, I was flogged by holding my desk and the teacher whipped me in the butt 5 strokes.

Sometimes, I do manage to avoid canes but my friends and classmates didn't. They got beaten a lot for noisemaking, sometimes having to go out of class and receive strokes of cane on the school yard. Even in class, you get beaten for talking while the teacher's talking. Girls were also beaten too. Mostly on their palms but there were a few teachers that beat them on the butt sometimes. I would always feel sad when they start crying on the middle of receiving their strokes and the teacher would still beat them until they have finished with their strokes. Can you imagine being in that class, seeing grown ass men with canes hit the girls on their asses and then see them uncontrollably cry but you can only do nothing about it because you know that you could get a similar or worse treatment. Yeah, I saw all that and became a little emotional. They got beaten either for noisemaking, failing subjects or forgetting to do assignments. One time after the mock exam results were published, I managed to barely pass and because of that I avoided being flogged but majority of the class failed and some discipline master whipped them really hard on their palms to the point I saw visible bruises on their palms and hands the next day. I couldn't do anything about it.

When you trigger the teachers angrily, you could get beaten like an animal. That's what happened to a friend of mine who left the school before I did. He said something that got the teacher angry, teacher then uses chalk to draw a circle on the floor, takes a cane, tells my friend to lie on it and because he couldn't do it well, he whipped my friend mostly on the back and sometimes all around his body. He was crying, begging to the teacher to stop and he repeatedly said he's sorry. The teacher didn't care, kept hitting him even though he was crying, and my friend was 13 at the time, being beaten by someone twice his age. After all that, he went to his seat to continue crying cuz that was just brutal. I sympathized with him back then and this situation still lives rent free in my mind. He was beaten like an animal all because he said something that triggered the teacher or was talking while the teacher was talking.

Mind you, this school is in a country where corporal punishment is banned with the law explicitly banning it in schools. But of course, the law wasn't enforced and my school got away with it. Because of that, I had to see students being whipped at least every week, receive 10 strokes of cane on my palms, 5 strokes on my ass, seeing girls receiving the same treatment and crying. Most of us guys didn't cry when that happens cuz we were pretty used to it. They beat us since primary school. Lying on the desk and being whipped 5 strokes and trying to hold that same desk so that you don't fall is really brutal. Pain everywhere. Pain sitting down.

I really didn't like this school at all as the only benefits I got from this school was making friends and academics being good. Basically, if you avoided being beaten in that school, you're an anomaly and a good one at that. And you can't even protest cuz when you try to do that, you get heavily beaten. Something that happened to a friend of mine when he argued about a dumb school rule and a teacher went to our class, called him out and beat him like 10 strokes just for doing that and warned us not to do the same.

Children being whipped every week, sometimes outside the school yard, teenagers being whipped like animals, almost every week, I must hear a whooping either in my class or in other classes. I'm not sure you guys could make it if you went into my school. All these memories compelled me to write this post to show awareness of how bad we have it in africa.

11
 
 

This was just a way for home builders to save money by building fewer walls.

They convinced homebuyers and influencers that is trendy, that living in a house that feels like a Walmart supercenter was the thing to do.

I really don't think many homebuyers asked for a toilet next to their living room.

12
 
 

Rant mode engaged. I'm a state pencil pusher. I administer benefits for elected officials, their staff, with regular administrative employees. I'm 100% convinced that as a whole, Americans are functionally illiterate. I will spend 30 minutes to an hour crafting an organized email with TL;DR bullet points at the end to have people call me to ask me a question that said email already answered. Bro/sis, did you even attempt to read the words on the page? It's not an age thing, or an education thing either. It's old people and young people. It's elected officials, people with PhDs, masters, and JDs, along with highschool and college graduates. It's gotten to the point that I will make people pull up the email I sent out to read along while I point out where in the text their questions were already answered. I'm one person doing the work of 3, and god damn I hate doing the same task over and over because people can't be bothered to fucking read.

13
 
 

A guy carrying a swastika flag's not a Nazi?

No.

A guy throwing a sieg heil isn't a Nazi?

No.

A guy saying "I love Hitler" - not a Nazi?

No. You don't know anything else about them!

I don't need to. So fuck that fuckin' Nazi, along with the rest of 'em.

14
 
 

It’s something I’ve heard a lot, and it’s obviously a compliment and meant to be nice. But I’m probably never going to have kids of my own and I just think of the father I could have been.

15
1
submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by Talonflame@lemmy.cafe to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world
 
 

I'm tired of seeing this double standard where if a man has a collarbone visible nobody bats an eye but god forbid a woman has some bone showing, she must automatically be starving herself or unhealthy. It's like no matter what a woman's body looks like, she just can't win. She has to be in this extremely narrow range or she's either anorexic or morbidly obese. I used to have Ariana's body type. I had prominent abs and had the most energy I had in my life back then. BMI is wildly inaccurate, too. You could have a BMI of 20 while having a body fat percentage in the obese range. Women aren't supposed to weigh as much as men at the same height, they have less muscle which is also the reason why Asian BMI over 23 is considered overweight or obese since they're supposed to be lighter

16
 
 

Started a new job back in July. Currently, the only shifts available to me start at 6:30AM. I'm 39 and for the past 25 years I've worked afternoons or nights. So I'm very used to not going to bed earlier than 2AM and now my days consist of:

Wake up at 4AM to make it to work by 6:30AM(morning constitutional and shower and breakfast)

Work til 2:14-3:30 depending.

Come home and nap til 7-7:30.

Wake up and cook dinner and wait for The Wife to get home.

Eat dinner and spend time with The Wife and engage in hobbies.

Go to sleep at midnight.

Repeat til day off.

Almost feels like I'm a Dreadnought.from WH40K. Being woken up to serve and then consigned to waiting slumber.

Or, you know. Whatever IP you like better. Point is I'm tired, and I'm going to go nap.

17
 
 

That's all there is to it. I started planning my PC build a while back, maybe 5 weeks or so, and budgeted carefully around it. Everything was locked in. I'm on a tight budget so I had to be very careful but I managed. Was quite pleased with myself for putting it all together in my 3rd language. Bookmarked relevant pages.

Forced myself to wait until my birthday, today, to start to order it all, and praised myself for being disciplined and patient.

Today I went to start placing orders and found out ram has gone absolutely off the chain. I guess I shouldn't have waited, but that's what you get for trying to be mature and adult about this kind of thing rather than mad impulse buying.

And I realize this all sounds like a roundabout way of e-begging, so I'm putting the disclaimer right here that that's not what I'm doing. I am literally just getting this off my chest (as the sub name demands) because I have nobody else to complain to this about that would really get it.

18
 
 

I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT SO MUCH

Literally have no energy to even cry after crying so much. Genuinely need some comfort and support. I want someone to talk to who understands.

21f I’ve been dealing with this horrible abdominal pain for about 4 days now and it’s really wearing me down. I’m on meds for it so that helps quite a lot. The pain sits mostly around my belly button area and nearby. It constantly hurts, and then it suddenly spikes into cramping or stabbing gut pain whenever it wants to. My appetite is low, I feel nauseous, and without pain meds I honestly can’t manage the day.

I had an ultrasound and blood work done earlier this week. Nothing serious showed up so they’ve ruled out anything like appendicitis or anything, but the moment they pressed the probe on my abdomen I almost jumped. It hurt so badly that the whole thing stressed me out more because I still don’t understand what’s going on inside my belly.

Then this morning (nighttime here btw), I was sitting on the floor checking something in the lowest drawer. When I tried to stand up, I got this sudden, really sharp pang in my gut, lost my balance, and ended up falling forward straight onto the wooden bedpost. It hit me right in the stomach and the impact felt like it actually sank into my abdomen. It knocked the literal life out of me and I threw up after.

Now the area on my stomach where I hit is sore and even feels bruised. Although it’s most likely nothing severe like internal bleeding, but it hurts when I touch it, when I stretch, or even when I flex my abdominal muscles. But my original belly pain is still there too, so everything feels mixed together. I’m getting random throbbing sensations in my gut and sometimes that awful empty “extreme hunger” type pain even when I’m not hungry at all. My whole abdomen feels drained, my body feels weak, and I’m honestly exhausted. I’m tired, I want to cry and cry but no energy for that as well. I just want this to end. I feel so confused and helpless.

19
 
 

I've been alone for some time. I thought I got used to it but.. I didn't.

Met an individual like a needle in a haystack. Someone whose tracing the same steps I once took. We learned that we have a lot of similarities so I was growing fond of this friendship.. so much that I looked past the one-sidedness of it all. While she certainly was curious about the things she was interested about me..She was never really curious about me.

I felt the lopsidedness of all the conversations and everything, yet I still instigated conversations with her. And when the conversation dried up along with her interest, it was me and my mental health going crazy. Anxiety, thoughts of worthlessness, abandonment. When in reality they never really cared that much for me in the first place and it was entirely foolish of me to invest so much into a person that wouldn't reciprocate.

Sigh...

I am focusing my attention into more productive areas..

20
 
 

All my gay friends have turned out to be bi. All my bi-curious friends have turned out to be straight or have a preference for the opposite gender. I know like one bisexual guy who is with a dude, and that's my ex's friend. And all my bi friends end up dating the opposite gender. I do not criticize this, but I do find it funny, as this happened to myself included.

I may have said I'm trans and a woman, but I really mean "trans" as in non-binary, yet still connected to womanhood, but I am technically cis in my womanhood. I now identify as a cis woman with she/they/it pronouns.

A lot has happened. So my ex I kept talking about was a trans dude. Now "he" is a girl again. She is omnisexual and I am bisexual and we are best friends. I deeply regret my past actions and realize I've been really shitty, so I went to work on myself a bit.

Anyway, we are in happy relationships now!

I used to criticize gay relationships, I'll admit, but ever since I became more accepting of my preference for men, I became more accepting of gay people. I guess I would especially get upset when my crushes or boyfriends were bisexual because there could be a chance that they won't be attracted to me, so I solved this by only dating straight men.

My happy relationship is with Jimmy, a straight ally, and my ex's Renee is with Chris, who is definitely an ally because Renee used to be only attracted to women and Chris didn't mind and now they're dating because Renee is omnisexual.

My attraction to women is very slight, but I am still bisexual. Renee's attraction to men is very slight, but it's still there, and she is still omnisexual. I think it's funny how we're on opposite ends, best friends, and how all this works. I also sincerely, deeply apologize for my actions. I know my mental health was not an excuse.

21
 
 

I'm not here to advertise for them that's not the point. It was for a suicide prevention / awareness clothing brand. The shirts are kinda corny, but well meaning. The thing that got me was the voice over. It was basically validation that things can get tough and that the listener could handle it.

No one in my life does that. The only person who ever did was my mom and she died (too young) a decade ago. I haven't had any substantial emotional support since she passed. My dad is an abusive POS. My wife is stuck in her own head. My kids aren't supposed to do that, it's too much for a child. My friends... Never call first. It's always me starting anything. Literal months have gone by if I don't start anything.

I'm surrounded by people but I feel so alone. I don't actively wanna "check out" most days, but damn that ad made me realize how much I crave validation. I really want someone close to me to tell me on a regular basis that I make their life better.

I don't think anyone gives a shit. I know if I ended it, they'd miss the paycheck I provide, but I feel like that's it. I know my kids would be worse off, by far, and that's probably a large chunk of why I'm still here. I love them so much. They're the best.

I'm struggling to post this because I know y'all internet strangers will be nice about it, but that just feels like I'm fishing for validation which makes me feel guilty. But didn't I just say I wanted validation? What the fuck is wrong with me.

22
 
 

I'm not going to pretend that early 2000s or 2010 Internet was better, but I recently switched to the fediverse because of the harassment I was receiving online.

I had gotten into a small argument because someone essentially stole the background set dressing for a weird thing they tried to do in their creation, when I pointed it out they responded by going through my post history and telling me that I should have committed suicide.

when I responded it was childish to go through my post history because of an argument, someone completely unrelated sent an image of a child's skull split open and they were very obviously dead, just in an attempt to get a rise out of me.

like, I dunno, I feel like when I was younger people would either just call each other names and then leave it at that or complain about it night and day, but it wouldn't ever progress to the point that people would just outright post gore in my messages.

am I alone in feeling that over the past 8 years people have gotten a lot meaner online?

23
 
 

I mentioned liking the wicked movie once to my grandma and now she's always sending me wicked merchandise and she got me the dvd. It makes her happy and I don't want to make her feel bad but I can only eat so many boxes of wicked cereal. It weighs on me.

24
 
 

I work in tech and have since my teens. I've done contracting for web dev, I worked for a systems integrator, and I've been a sysadmin in my current position for six years. In the past six years, I've dodged several (at least three) layoffs, losing coworkers and getting more overworked each time. There are rumors of another round of layoffs happening in the next couple of months, and I can't help but feel like my luck will have finally run out.

It's something that I constantly think about at this point.. it's always in the back of my mind. To add to the stress, I'm the only earner in my relationship. My partner is more than willing (and would try) to get a job if something happens, but the current thing we've got going works very well. They take care of the house, do a large part of the household chores, and take care of our pet family. I am able to focus on work, and in the end we both have free time and are able to spend that time together.

Anyway, that's not to say that it isn't stressful to have everything financially on me, especially given the current tech job market. I'm worried that I'll lose my job, not be able to find a new one by the time unemployment expires, and then starve or lose our home.

When I was younger, I was very interested in being a national forest employee. Of course, they also haven't been paid and have been getting canned just the same, but I can't help but feel that I would've been more fulfilled doing that work. I'm still relatively young and probably would be able to switch to a different industry if it came to it, but I'm also not in the same physical health as I was before working in tech. I broke my leg three years ago and lost most of my leg strength, so I think working for state parks would be out.

Being honest, I don't know what to do. I'm so tired of possibly getting laid off. It's ruined most of my passion for tech. But I have no other marketable skills. I feel trapped

25
 
 

Original post: https://lemmy.world/post/38350973

I hope update is allowed.

Today I talked to my boss. Surprisingly, she was very accepting. I told her what happened over the weekend the aggressor and I worked. How the aggressor was passively aggressively rude to me. She was laterally commanding me ("Go home!","Go eat!) when she was just my peer, my equal, not my boss.

She was constantly over my shoulder trying to catch my mistakes. When i did, she would sneer. She thrives on the power of superiority. That just made me unable to focus. When I didn't make mistake, she looked like a dear caught in headlights.

She was harassing me to the point I couldn't concentrate.

My boss asked if I noticed any interaction between the aggressor and my co-workers. Luckily, I did remember and I told her!

Yes, I have proofs. I am a popular person. I even told my boss to ask anyone at work and they would back me up. This how confident I was.

Needless to say. The bully is not so brave now.

Lesson learned. Speak up! I wasn't going to tell my boss until I learned that I wasn't the only victim. Silence is not the answer.

I was harassed at work and I am going to file a complaint on Friday. I am scared as hell

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