this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2026
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[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 51 points 1 day ago (6 children)
  • find x in the following equation:

X^2 - 6x + 5 = 0

  • God said 3.
[–] _edge@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 5 hours ago

x = (X^2 + 5)/6

[–] jokerwanted@lemmy.zip 8 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I'm sorry, i just can't help myself X = 5 or 1

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 3 points 4 hours ago

Failed.

Reason: didn't mention God.

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

An old joke:

In a Catholic school:

“Johnny, tell us, how does electricity make a bulb work?”

“Through God's help!”

“Good, A for you.”

It's now a reality in the US.

[–] LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 day ago

Bonus points! You even showed your work!

[–] inclementimmigrant@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

If I have to choose a hyper-authoritarian and genocidal deity†, I'm gonna go with the one who recognizes Douglas Adams as the prophet he so clearly was.

† which I don't, so I don't.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I think I’m converting to pannumerism.

1 * 0 = 0 = 1 *2
(1*0) / 0 = 0 = (2*0) / 0
1 = 2

(/jk, this is why we don’t divide by zero)

Dividing by zero is God's will.

[–] axexrx@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

Back in highschool, we had a kinda shitty math teacher who got put on honors precalc, which was kind of above her head. As a joke, one of the students wrote out a more complex version of that proof (just extra steps padding it out and making it slightly less obvious he was dividing by 0) wrote the proof out at the top of an exam, and answered every question as 0.

The teacher spent a month thinking her genius student had disproved all of mathematics before someone finally explained it to her.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago

I dunno why, but only had either incredibly shitty math teachers or incredibly awesome math teachers.

The best was a guy who fought in Vietnam (and talked about those experiences, instead of not saying anything,) and also had a Friday-class-teacher as often as he could.

The guest teachers were always people who used the math we were learning in careers that where just about math. (They were also actually interesting people. You’d think the actuary would be boring. There were also pharmacists and doctors. Chemists. People you’d not normally think of.)

They weren’t teaching math so much as talking about what they were doing with it- if it was research, it was what they were researching then and there, etc.

Had him for a lot of classes. Algebra, statistics. Trig.

In any case the worst two was either the guy the school hired to be a football coach that used and insisted we used play calling diagrams to “show our work.” And it wasn’t anything like the usual steps.

The other worst was a lady who I described as Eva Braun’s Evil Twin. (I still stand by that. She was not a good person and she routinely bullied a friend. I idea how that teacher was still employed.)

All three of them got that for something. Mr Awesome laughed, and said “this is why we don’t divide by zero.”

The evil Eva Braun got really pissed off.

The coach? Yeah. He struggled with it for a week or two. Until he took it to another of the teachers and came back really pissed off. (He tried to make me run laps around the school as punishment. I just ignored him.)

[–] Doomsider@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Florida allows magic Sky Daddy to be citable.

Queue new religions of climate change, transexuals, socialism, etc.

My God says climate change is real and you have to respect my religion.

No, Not like that!

[–] fnrir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Doomsider@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago

Sounds like my kind of Sky Daddy. One with tasty noodley appendages.

I know it may seem ridiculous but traditional religion is also ridiculous. If we are going to keep giving real privileges to imaginary concepts we need to take advantage of it.

It is time to make WOKE an actual religion. Then conservatives have no choice but to protect WOKE by their own laws. Don't forget private WOKE charter schools, safe zone for WOKE practice, and refusal to serve non-WOKE people.

[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If the assignment is asking for facts and evidence to support your position, and you come back with "Well, it's in the Bible, so it must be true"...sorry Sunshine, you fuckin' failed.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

And what what’s her name said wasn’t even really in the Bible. (Or at least she provided no actual citation to that effect.)

Worse, y’know what is in the Bible?

“Women, shut up.”. 1Tim2, 1Cor14, etc.

(Paul was a dick. And it’s even worse if you go to the Bronze Age bits…)

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

So… hearsay that was written down hundreds of years after the fact, then edited and translated repeatedly, is fair game?

[–] chaogomu@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago

This case is worse than that. The student didn't even cite the actual bible. No verses quoted, nothing. They mostly quoted right-wing talking points.

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

Can't have conservative voters without stupid people.

The GOP is well aware of that.

[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

I used to teach community college sociology. My mostly-millennial students were largely evangelicals, and even they knew better than to cite the Bible in a college-level social science class.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The smugness of her smile. Fuck this lady. She’ll go on to make life difficult for others for the next sixty years.

If I recall correctly, her mother is also a proud Karen.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 12 hours ago

Looks like there's nothing going on behind those eyes

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

Back in my day, we had to be academic and professional. If you didn't respond to the prompt, you would fail.

Kids are so coddled and babied all the way to adulthood. Thank god they have AI to make their lives better. /s

[–] neutronbumblebee@mander.xyz 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sounds targeted at assignments in biology and in particular Evolution. If they still mention that in the classroom.

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 4 points 13 hours ago

It sounds like it may be triggered by the woman who wrote an assignment responding to a psychology paper discussing pressures and bullying of people about gender norms. Her "thoughtful" reaction was essentially "they aren't bullied or pressured, and it totally makes sense that they are being bullied and pressured and they need to accept they don't belong to themselves but belong to God and need to be womanly or manly because God said so"

Didn't even cite the Bible, but the critique was not about citations but about not using evidence to support the claim. Also the inconsistent nature of simultaneously saying there's no bullying or pressure and saying the bullying and pressure are justified in the name of God. Further from a psychology perspective, displays a complete unwillingness to even consider the psychological situation of another human being if it doesn't fully align with the world view.

It probably could have gotten credit if she cited some study extolling the benefits of traditional gender norms and/or the mental stresses of non traditional explorations, I'm sure some conservative nutjiobs have managed to publish such a study, or falling that she could probably dig into 19th century "science" and find something to support her view. It would have been odious. But at least would have demonstrated a willingness to go searching for something to support her stance instead of just shutting down and copping out with a vague "God disagrees"

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 23 hours ago

Aw yisss I started a cult and speak for my god, A minuses here I come

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago

Scientists have determined that the universe was created by- GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD -bang

https://youtu.be/Ljt5iESYA7k

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 1 day ago

If they're a theology major, they should be allowed. 🤷‍♂️

[–] ChokingHazard@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

And god said “do not believe in me for I am a fraud” and so they stopped believing and it was good.

[–] Sanguine@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How are they not bored. Same fuckin story, same half baked moral lessons for the last 2k years or whatever they claim.

Sometimes the Christian radio station by my house cuts through whatever I was listening to and it's always some bored ass, monotone, what I assume to be white guy droning on about the kingdom that awaits.

[–] Dead_or_Alive@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Like everything else today it’s just a grift.

Stick some pretty 20 something white girl in front of a camera advocating for god in the face of those godless immigrant communists who control higher education. Instant Faux News interviews, do the podcast and YouTuber rounds, bonus points if she is already an influencer… it’s just easy money.

I bet a few believe it, most just back her up because she’s white, Christian and playing in their team.

There are no morals or ideals on the right, just grifts.