Oglaf
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Posts and discussion about the Oglaf webcomic. Many of the comics are NSFW, please tag appropriately.
This comic started out as an attempt to make pornography. It degenerated into a sex comedy pretty much immediately
Posting new comics, and old comics until we're caught up
founded 9 months ago
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https://www.patreon.com/oglaf/posts/random-168173739
Hello
We've been busy this month putting together stuff for a new book, so we haven't had loads of time to make special content, but here's a nice table of random encounters-
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A skeleton sits in a roadside gibbet cage, playing the lute and singing.
It’s really good!
Anyone who listens for more than a minute gets an earworm so brutal that any wisdom-related ability check is made at disadvantage for the next 24 hours.
- A tar-pit bubbles in a field off the track. A very messy halfling pulls enormous bones from the pit with the help of another, drier halfling on solid land attached by a rope. They hope to assemble the skeleton of a large animal to sell to the local necromancer. Animal skeleton related crimes have risen sharply in recent years but the halflings don’t feel any responsibility.
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An ancient stone altar sports runes in an unknown language.
“Comprehend Languages” will translate the words as “best sex of your life”
Anyone who has sex on the altar will find it mind-blowingly good but be a little melancholy afterwards that the best sex of their life is behind them.
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A sign by the side of the road says ‘Theo’s spider rides’
There’s a large hitching-post but nothing else.
A hundred meters back in the forest is a huge web with a silk bundle the size of a human.
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The tree definitely doesn’t have boobs.
Those are just ordinary tree boles that happen to look like boobs.
If anyone comes within ten feet of the tree it starts moaning about how horny it is and how it wishes somebody would touch its boobs.
They’re not boobs.
That’s just a ‘magic mouth’ spell left by a waggish wizard
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The trees are covered in the same poster- missing cat very valuable.
The posters have a picture of a cat on them.
Ten minutes after seeing the first poster, the party find the cat in the picture putting up posters.
“You must think me terribly vain” says the cat and scarpers into the undergrowth.
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A pole dancer with a halberd is practicing sexy moves by the side of the road.
If it’s pointed out that halberds are really only effective with a large number of wielders,
She replies “you have no idea how sexy this is about to get”
as four more dancers emerge to attack the party.
They automatically lose initiative because they’re doing choreo.
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A jolly human man approaches the party to warn that the bridge ahead is guarded by a fearsome beast.
Really really scary beast but it lets travelers past for just a silver coin.
Honestly, just pay its toll- I’ve seen that beast tear horses to ribbons.
After the party are out of sight the man circles back around to underneath the bridge and puts on a beast costume.
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On a rest stop, the party is approached by a sentient leg of ham.
The leg is greasy and fast-moving and almost impossible to catch.
It’s recently escaped from a food wizard’s workshop and misses being told it smells delicious.
If suitably flattered it will leave ten slices of really good ham.
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A scraggly woman in rags sits on a milestone eating chestnuts.
She offers you a chestnut.
Anyone who takes a chestnut must save vs wisdom or be compelled to give the woman a piggy-back to a town six hours away.
They’re good chestnuts.
If threatened the woman vanishes after throwing the chestnuts to the ground.
The chestnuts turn into almonds.
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A commotion under a bridge turns out to be three very drunken Kuo-toa.
They’re staggering upstream in search of salmon spawning grounds while laughing that they don’t even find salmon hot.
They have five gallons of navy-issue rum in a barnacle-encrusted barrel.
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There’s only a light breeze but all the trees around a clearing are thrashing wildly.
Inside the clearing, an ent fighting league are holding an illegal deathmatch.
An oak and an ash assault each other with axes.
The oak has a clear upper hand.
A satyr offers the party an opportunity to bet on the match, offering five to one odds on the ash.
The oak wins.
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