xkcd

xkcd #3180: Apples

Title text:

The experimental math department's budget is under scrutiny for how much they've been spending on trains leaving Chicago at 9:00pm traveling at 45 mph.

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3180/

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xkcd #3179: Fishing

Title text:

'That's definitely above the catch-and-release size minimum for planetesimals.' 'I'm going to throw it back anyway.'

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3179/

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xkcd #3178: Hyperacute Interdynamics

Title text:

Our models fall apart where the three theories overlap; we're unable to predict what happens when a nanometer-sized squirrel eats a grapefruit with the mass of the sun.

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3178/

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xkcd #3177: Chessboard Alignment

Title text:

Luckily, the range is limited by the fact that the square boundary lines follow great circles.

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3177/

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xkcd #3176: Inverted Catenaries

Title text:

Some tires are marketed as 'all-shape tires,' but if driven in a climate with both inverted catenary falls and triangle falls, they wear out really fast.

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3176/

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xkcd #3175: Website Task Flowchart

Title text:

Tired of waiting on hold? Use our website to chat with one of our live agents, who are available to produce words at you 24/7!

Transcript:

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3175/

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xkcd #3174: Bridge Clearance

Title text:

A lot of the highway department's budget goes to adjusting the sign whenever the moon passes directly overhead.

Transcript:

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3174/

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xkcd #3173: Satellite Imagery

Title text:

Every weekend I take an ATV out into the desert and spend a day tracing a faint "(C) GOOGLE 2009" watermark across the landscape.

Transcript:

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3173/

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xkcd #3172: Fifteen Years

Title text:

"Want to feel old?" "Yes."

Transcript:

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3172/

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xkcd #3171: Geologic Core Sample

Title text:

If you drill at the right angle and time things perfectly, your core sample can include a section of a rival team's coring equipment.

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3171/

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xkcd #3170: Service Outage

Title text:

Now, if it were the Canon wiki, it's possible to imagine someone with a productivity-related reason for consulting it, but no one's job requires them to read that much about Admiral Daala.

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3170/

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xkcd #3169: EPIRBs

Title text:

'Oh no, the box is drifting out into the harbor!' 'Yeah, I wouldn't worry about losing it.'

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3169/

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xkcd #3168: Beam Dump

Title text:

We're adding some industrial flypaper to minimize reflection or scattering of customers who might complain.

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3168/

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xkcd #3167: Car Size

Title text:

'They really shouldn't let those small cars drive in traffic. I worry I'm going to kill someone if I hit one! They should have to drive on the sidewalk, safely out of the way.'

Transcript:

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3167/

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xkcd #3166: Big and Little Spoons

Title text:

Are you the annoying spoon or the sleepy spoon?

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3166/

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xkcd #3165: Earthquake Prediction Flowchart

Title text:

At least people who make religious predictions of the apocalypse have an answer to the question 'Why didn't you predict any of the other ones that happened recently?'

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3165/

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xkcd #3164: Metric Tip

Title text:

The package weighs 7 kg 9 oz.

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3164/

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xkcd #3163: Repair Video

Title text:

The statue should be in the likeness of whatever sculptor posted the sculpting tool repair video that was most helpful during the installation of the statue.

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3163/

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xkcd #3162: Heart Mountain

Title text:

Even geology papers about Heart Mountain are like, "Look, we all agree this 'volcanic gas earthquake hovercraft' thing seems like it can't possibly be right, but..."

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3162/

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xkcd #3161: Airspeed

Title text:

Carefully maneuvering the balloon down a mineshaft in an effort to break the OTHER altitude record

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Source: https://xkcd.com/3161/

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