Crazy Ideas

After playing some Tux, hot shower water gave me a vision. Imagine, there is a sport carting league for CEOs and billionaires, that is inherently wasteful like golf, but is universally accepted as a breathing period for all world's populace from their shenanigans. Any moment they cart, they don't cut or monopolize essential things. And being like a real sport, it prevents them from casually walking around and networking, like golf is used by most.

The core of this theme is a team of CEO and their secretary over the phone. Their interactions is what gives characters personality, gives some comedic commentary on how they are unhinged.

For example, one of the CEO characters, when wins, opens a bottle of champaigne when they win and uncontrollably bump into the wall the next moment. Secretary then reminds them, once again, that drinking and driving is not recommended. On track, they are always sniffing and complain about how coke makes them sneeze, and how, after being stopped, they could've run faster than cart if not for cardiologist's advice.

Another have pointless metrics shown in the garage, and choosing different hats, cars doesn't affect performance but makes them less over the top annoying in their reactions to the environment. Losing or bumping into the wall causes them to put blame on having less SPEED or ACCELERATION than others, and it should be corrected not by the next quarter, NOW. Their secretary nods, saying they would look into it. If they loose, they fire a random department at their company.

All extra abilities make them play their bit. Like putting oil on the road causes saudi oil baron to flex, and others to calculate waste they could use other way, like powering their crypto servers. The metrics guy complains, why the fuck his car leaks, and their secretary patiently explains that's how they win.

Another ghoul's topic is immortality by blood transfusion and essential oils. Losing makes them remark, that they'd outlive others in the long run. Bumping makes them order another body part replacement from a black market.

In story mode, each chapter generously extrapolate time that took you to complete it to real life, and then calculate how much suffering and waste didn't happen. Playing a Melon Husk, you'd see how many CO² wasn't emitted by his personal plane while he was kartmaxxing.

The tracks themselves are historically or otherwise significant sites that get joyfully destructed over the course of the race to show their recklessness and what sacrifice their prolonged existence implies.

This winter, keep yourself and your family warm!

And nobody does winter better than the propane king!

Introducing, the all new line up of "Propane Windows"! TM.

Big 40,000 btu windows, small 1000btu windows! We do it all! Need a doggy or cat door? No problem! Training included!

Small print...in the unlikely event that the pet does get stuck, we provide KFC secret sauce and ketchup. Do not place any body parts thru the pet doors including the round canary hole as this can cause serious burns and or death, mostly death.

Publicly-available web applications typically keep an "access log" -- a log of every request made to a website or web application hit by end users including the URL path. This log is usually viewable by developers.

Aside from that, typically web applications are constantly monitored by various monitoring/alerting software like Data Dog, NewRelic, Dynatrace, Pagerduty, etc, which has the ability to constantly monitor things like the error rate and if the end user's error rate sharply increases from 1% to 10%, let's say, it will send a message directly to a developer's phone.

The thing is, the content of the access logs and the alerts generated are things that depend very significantly on end user behavior. You can literally put arbitrary content into a url and that will show up in the access log. Manipulating alerting might be more challenging, but it could be done with a coordinated group of people (a la [LOIC](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Low_Orbit_Ion_Cannon, though it would take a lot less traffic than a DDOS typically would).

Particularly for websites that don't offer any way to contact them, I'll sometimes drop a message to them in a url and refresh a good dozen times or so. Particularly to express displeasure. Just on the hope that someone will run across it in the access log.

• https://example.com/your_website_apparently_just_doesnt_load_at_all_in_chrome
• https://example.com/fuck_your_signup_wall
• https://example.com/I_cant_in_good_conscience_continue_to_utilize_your_service

Stuff like that. It's surprising how often I feel I have a reason to do that.

(And to be fair, the chance someone would happen across it would be pretty seriously low if a) I was just doing this on my own and b) the site got any significant amount of traffic for me to get drowned out in. I tend to take that into account when I'm doing this. Given how much traffic it gets, what time of day it is, how good the IT department is likely to be, etc, how likely is it to be seen?)

But if you can get a bunch of people involved, you can coordinate to hit one particular URL with a message in it and get a lot of 404s that might well end up in reports or alerts.

But why would you want to do this?

• Protest - A clear message to a company or other organization (government agency, whatever) that what they're doing is not ok with the people. Proof that a company has received such a message can also provide ammunition for a movement.
• Alerting employees to the bad actions of their employer.
• Just being helpful - It's entirely possible for some sites that they just don't know that some particular thing may be broken, vulnerable, or otherwise "bad" in a fixable way. And if there's not a better way to contact them, this might be the only real option. While the whole "coordinated effort a la LOIC" thing might not work, if this became a more common practice, it could be of benefit.
• Clandestine communications with employees without bosses finding out.

Good practices:

• For alerts, remember there's a human on the other end of that alert. Don't wake them at 3:00am for your political cause. Ping them at 2:00pm (their timezone.) It's cool if their boss is paying them to deal with that.
• Consider your target. Do the math. Get an idea how likely it is that what you're attempting will accomplish your goal -- get to the right audience or whatever.
• Try to make what you're doing stand-out to who you're attempting to communicate with. Put ASCII art in it. Use all caps. Put in words/phrases they're likely to be grepping for.
• Maybe use an unusual user agent if you want your messages easily grepped for. (Once you've got their curiosity, they might want to see more.)
• Consider anonymizing technologies like VPNs or Tor. Depending on your aims.
• Consider what will end up putting your message in reports to management.

Could this be used for evil? Yeah, probably. Maybe it's already being done?

• Spamming/scamming website owners. (This could get especially annoying on a large, industrial scale.)
• Head hunting/poaching employees.
• Log injection.

And the price? So good, it's to die for!

Metformin tastes horrible, which is a problem I think this could solve

I may be a little high

I know damn well what I wrote.

Saw Superman at the theater the other day and decided the best thing about the 'theatre experience' was the commitment

imagine getting matching ones for each pet you have and by the time im like 80 (if I live past my 20s that is) I light up a vet scanner like a Christmas tree.

"Tonight on QUEEF WATCH! We take a look at various queefs across the city, and ask bartenders if they can identify their patrons by the sound of their queef!

cut to clip

queef noise

"That was Laura."

queef noise

"That was Britney."

queef noise

"That was Abby."

"And later on the show, we'll be interviewing three generations of women. A woman, a daughter, and a grand daughter to find out which generation has the superior queef!"

"Wouldn't all of them be daughters though? Every woman is SOMEBODIES daughter..."

"Well, yeah, but I said it like that so you got a sense of the generations"

"Yeah, I get that, but it's still a weird thing to say. It distracts more than it attracts."

queef noise

"That was Amber."

So what you do is you stand on the side of the road, in a cardboard box/lemonaid stand, and it's painted with a sign that says "Join cult here".

Then you go on to tell everyone who's interested in joining that you'd be interested in taking over their daily autonomy, so that you may control what they think, what they do, when they pee, when they sleep, you control their wallet, you control their sex life, their love life, their marriage, everything. You control every aspect of their life, and all they have to do is obey and worship.

Then you hand them a clipboard with an application and a pen on a chain.

At no point do you try to deceive them. You openly tell them that your intentions are to abuse them, take their money, and have them worship false idols, namely you, while you take advantage of them and their family for the rest of their lives. Which if history has taught us anything, will probably end in a mass suicide in some sort of religious ritual.

Then just amass an army of people who joined for whatever reason. What could go wrong?

Sponsered by Tyson chicken. And Mike Tyson punches Neil every time he makes a point. But Neil defends Pluto not being a planet anymore after every point he makes.

C'mon Adult Swim! Greenlight this idea! It wouldn't be the first time you had Mike Tyson on a crazy ass show on your network!

would be pretty funny

Actual genuine tutorial video on how to do car maintenance. It's an actual real tutorial on how to change your oil, and spark plugs. But then the instructor takes off his pants, and has sex with the woman who brought her car in for servicing. And the other customers waiting in the lobby start playing cheesy saxophone music.

And then the pizza delivery guy enters to deliver a hot and ready sausage.

Do you really think you'd get this kind of experience just going to the library??? I mean sure, maybe you find a book....and yeah, the book may teach you the same things. But then what about the sex? I mean maybe you find a sexy librarian, and maybe she has some sexy glasses and a knee high tight skirt, and suspenders......and maybe the other people in the library start playing cheesy saxophone music BUT THEN SHE SHUSH'S THEM!!!!

you could have a saw fingernail for cutting wood, a file fingernail for fileing, a razor fingernail for cutting, and an axe fingernail for chopping your wood.
the design is very human 🥰

The people of California will be united again! California will be whole once more!