Cult Films

Lady gets bit on the chest by a jungle cobra: "Just like every other snake I met. Can't leave my tits alone"

Sexy pirate blaxploitation filmed in the Philippines but made to look like a Latin island somewhere, this is some B grade Foxy Brown but it still delivers entertainment. Cool kung fu moves, women's prison themes, and a shitload of gunplay, it's violent but not gory.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ out of ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

I'm a fan of old sleazy Spinell, was in some great flicks, and it's kind of a shame that THIS is his final film. Released posthumously after he cut his head open in the shower and bled to death, it's pretty bad, and Spinell just sleepwalks through it seemingly making up his dumb dialog as he goes along. The story, what there is of it, sucks and despite the cast being basically non-actors Spinell's performance makes them look like Shakespearean level thespians. The ending may be the worst part of this movie though, so bad I said fuck me out loud. There's some foxy ladies and a few unintentionally funny moments though, if that sounds like enough to pique your interest, maybe give it a go.

⭐ 1/2 out of ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Nice gooey demon fx and mutilation makeup and a cool satanic premise, but nothing that will "blow you away" as the poster suggests (although it is a cool poster). It is a fun watch but the Evil Dead worship goes a little bit too far. Don't expect gore and nudity cus there ain't a whole lot, but a guy kung fu kicks a demon's head off its shoulders and a cow skull comes to life and eats someone. I won't say who cus I don't wanna ruin the surprise.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ out of ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

I'm a fan of David Hewlett from his time on SG Atlantis, so wanted to check out some features that he's starred in. He is annoying but likeable at the same time, and Nothing is an interesting premise that's good for a few laughs and an enjoyable watch after work to wind down. A pair of loser roommates are able to make things disappear just by wishing it, until they make the world disappear and it's just a white void outside their door that they decide to explore. It's a very comfortable nerdy movie, and sometimes you're just in the mood for that.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ out of ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Small slice-of-life drama that proves a story doesn't have to be big to make an impact. No elaborate sets, no nail biting tension, no over-acting. It's all very subtle and the barren and run down north Texas backdrop suits it to a T. Even with his understated and quiet presence, Duvall carries this film on his back the whole way with a little help from Tess Harper as his new wife and Betty Buckley as his ex. Yes, it is a redemption story, but definitely not a dramatic one and promotes realism instead of Hollywood fantasies.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ out of ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

I really enjoyed the gulf coast island scenery, it's not often you see it featured in a film, especially a horror. Other than that, it's pretty slow going, with the first kill taking place pretty late and the others being unremarkable. Otherwise it's just walking around the island but I didn't mind too much as it was nice to look at and shot well. To be honest I would rather be killed by a nightmare creature than be married to the protagonist who is the biggest downer sourpuss ever caught on film. Absolutely miserable. Speaking of nightmares, it's interesting that she believes if she falls asleep the nightmares she has will kill her and the ones she loves. From coffee to cigarettes to burning her hand to stay awake, a lot of this would be replicated a couple of years later in Nightmare on Elm Street. Seems a bit much to just chalk up to coincidence. There's an unusual ending that I won't spoil, and I'm still not sure how I feel about it. Clever or contrived? You decide.

⭐ ⭐ 1/2 out of ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

NB has a little bit of everything thrown together that makes for an entertaining watch. Usually I would come down on a movie that doesn't know what it wants to be; a spring break sex comedy? a slasher? a romantic drama? a biker flick? a mystery? But I have a feeling it's actually purposeful here, something for everyone, and it works. The shocking (literally) kills are impressive for the budget, and it keeps you on your toes as to who is the actual murderer without insulting your intelligence with the final reveal. I quite enjoyed it, it's definitely not boring, and I'll always tune in for John Saxon.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ 1/2 out of ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

First let me say I was supposed to be pirating Painkiller Jane. I had no idea this wasn't that till halfway through the movie and still no super soldier appeared. Also I couldn't figure out why SyFy would play this movie. It was just an old man in a purge mask murdering pharma execs. Turns I out it was a completely different movie. This movie is so DUMB, literally on par with a Neil Breen movie. Acting is awful and the writing is absolutely juvenile, a 15 year old's wet dream of vigilante justice. Nothing adds up or makes sense, plot holes out the ass, but I can't say it's not entertaining. Maybe because it is so dumb, I don't know, I guess I am dumb. I'm dumb enough to watch the wrong movie.

⭐ 1/2 out of ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Very straightforward and simple plot without any setup or backstory which works well for this film. No metaphors about life or hidden subtext, just Bronson jumping off a train car in New Orleans and being a quiet badass who says hardly anything but knocks the ever-loving shit out of poor chumps for money during the depression. Managed by Coburn who plays the brash fast talking gambling addict Speed, both men are perfect in their roles. Films like this are where Walter Hill really shines; minimum dialogue, tight and tense action and fight sequences, and authentic scenery and backdrops.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ 1/2 out of ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

In the deep south it's good to kiss your hot niece on the mouth and call her baby.

Wings Hauser pretty much makes this film, along with support from the sheriff played by Bo Hopkins. Wings and his little brother go on vacation but end up in a backwoods town and run into the living dead who are the spawn of toxic waste. Nothing really shocking gore or violence wise, and the fx are so-so, but it's entertaining. As an aside there's a genuinely tense unplanned scene where Wings accidentally slips on a roofing shingle after jumping out a window and damn near falls off the roof of a house which could have easily broken his neck. I had to rewind it several times and it's the real deal.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ out of ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐