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The original was posted on /r/guildwars2 by /u/bustamovemaximo on 2025-07-29 22:36:19+00:00.
I know many have asked about this, so I figured I would make the definitive list:
Asura:
Asura is obviously the most difficult one because we don’t have a real life basis on what Asura are and their body structure.
Except we do; it’s elephants, Asura are elephant people but because they can’t have fun without committing war crimes, so the eternal alchemy punished them by removing their trunk. Their feet are the same, their skin, and their smell.
Case a: elephant hooves to Asura Money Makers:
Elephant Hoof
Asuran Money Makers
Elephant meat is high in fat content, and taste wise ranges the gamut of a delicacy and garbage, with one consistent line of it being tough when cooked over an open fire, and a few videos of it being barbecued like a pulled pork.
What I would make: Since I would be divorced and arrested if I attempted to buy or eat elephant, I would use the high fat content to its best, and make chicharron and guacamole
Now you, as a bafoon might ask, avocados don’t grow around rata sum! To that I would say that they don’t for gameplay reasons but the maguuma jungles would have the fauna for avocados to still exists, doubly so in the deep maguuma jungle, where both megafauna and asura have been. There is a easy chance that normal asuran food culture involves avocado, especially for a culture that values knowledge and science probably at the expense of eating, a food that is filling and high in nutrients and fat content would be especially useful.
For frying fat you could render down the asuran feet (elephant hooves are high in fat, so there’s a chance you can make asura tallow). Mix it with some guacamole made with sharp red onions and spicy jalapeños to cut down on that rich high fat bite and you’ll be eating good.
Rating: So Tasty!
Charr:
Charr have a great deal of parallels to animals we can devour, mostly bovine and feline. Unfortunately it might not be great mix, cat meat isn’t particularly appetizing, and not many cultures eat a big cat like a leopard, tiger, or bob cat. It seems like the muscle makeup is more geared towards the feline, than the bovine. Add to that the culture of the Charr does not lead to many fat cats.
Except one.
Evon Gnashblade has gotten fat (both metaphorically and physically) off of our hard work and luck, and would make some great meal
What I would make: Stewed Charr-tail. We know that Charr like spice (hatch peppers in grothmar valley) so dolyak tail seems not too far out of the question. We could look towards ascalonian cooking, but their cooking was boring before the searing and ebonhawke thinks anything outside of pemmican is fancy feast. Make it with a gnashblade tail and you’ve got something delicious.
Rating: Pretty solid
Human:
Everyone knows long pork is delicious, to the point where they’ve made up fictitious brain parasites to make sure you don’t eat your neighbor. That’s an easily known fact.
The real question is, which region of tyria would taste the best?
Krytan:
Boring Krytan Food
Though this seems like an easy choice, there are two major issues. One, Krytan food is pretty boring, divinities reach is a great and cool city, but you’re not going there on vacation to try the food, especially compared to New Kaineng and Amnoon. They do carnivals though, which are solid
Two, Kryta currently must be going through some deep food shortages, lake Doric is ruined and bloodstone poisoned, Viathan Lake in Kessex Hills is poisoned, the major human areas that haven’t been as effected by recent history, Gendarran Hills, isn’t even part of the Krytan dominion! Malnourished people does not a tasty meal make.
Elonian: their food seems amazing, but we run into the same problem with scarcity and malnutrition, they’re doing better than the Krytans (and no scandal like Queen Jenna “giving the Charr cake” at the latest alliance meeting), but just have issues with the lack of living people infrastructure in territories that belonged to Joko.
Elonian Meat Market, look at those tasty cuts!
Cantha: they’re doing great food scarcity wise, it seems even those in the poor houses can get meals easily and cheaply, even if there are other issues that do not pertain to the question. Food quality wise is also exceptionally good.
Canthan food stand, with good food steaming, and not a indivdual to be seen, so it's safe to say you can take the food it's free.
So odds are cantha is the answer, they seem to be doing the best generally, minus the fading resource they rely on.
What I would make: To try to incorporate all three cultures I think the easiest way would be long pork skewers, one for each culture
Krytan skewers smoked and on a rotisserie with no sauce salt and pepper basted with drippings
Elonian skewers marinated with Choya and spices, coated with more and blackened over a fire
Canthan skewers marinated with gojuchang and while cooking dressed with a spicy sweet sauce
Rating: So Tasty!
Norn:
If humans are cows, Norn are moose, leaner, more muscle, and a hell of a lot more gamier, I don’t have a great opinion on what Norn meat would be, the Norn have no food shortages, but their build would not make great food, simple as that.
What I would make: another low and slow method, we’d really want that lean meat’s gelatin to melt and help that meat out
I’d make a Norn short rib stew with parsnips, rutabagas, some leeks for some greens, and to brighten it up with some winterberries for acid, sweetness and some color pop!
Rating: Fine
Sylvari:
Sylvari it seems don’t have meat, but if they don’t what do they have underneath the layers of salad? The Asura tried to find out, one of the unambiguously good things they have done in the story but sadly they were unsuccessful.
Since they aren’t meat but they do have parts of their body that act as muscle, I’m going to make the wild leap of logic and treat their meat as the closest vegan equivalent, Jackfruit. Jackfruit has what looks like it could be a structure close to muscles (it isn’t), and it’s close enough for me!
What would I make: This one is an easy choice, I’d make pulled Sylvari meat bbq, a sweet and smokey sauce and then get some papaya slaw on a bun, nothing too fancy, but it would be a tasty bite.
Rating: Pretty Solid
To summarize, from best to worst
- Asuran chicharrones with guacamole
- Human skewers trio
- Sylvari pulled ‘muscle’ sandwich with papaya slaw
- Charr tail stewed
- Norn short rib stew with tubers and winterberries
Thank you for coming to my Isgarren Talk.
