Today I Fucked Up

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/PIeiades33 on 2025-10-21 08:07:34+00:00.

I had a software engineering interview and it was a 5 round interview with the first being a technical interview. They flew me out to their office and put me up in a hotel.

For those who don’t know, a technical interview generally involves coding a solution to a given problem that finishes as fast as possible with respect to the input size.

My solution relied on heaps deleting on log(n) time if you have a reference to the node you are deleting. When the interviewer saw this, he said “hmm I don’t think you can do that, can you show me?” So I drew out the process. He googles it and says “hmm I don’t think you can do that”. Anyways I now am fumbling but eventually get to the solution he was thinking of with some help.

I do the rest of the interviews and they went great. Despite that, the first interview still bugged me so while waiting for the uber to take me home, I decided to google the question, and saw I was right. I felt that I just needed to rant about it so I called my girlfriend and just started going off. I was loudly complaining about “what kind of idiot senior engineer doesn’t know this?” “this is such bs” “how are you so dumb that you google it and still get it wrong?” “I fkin hate that guy so much”

While I’m going off, I look up from my phone for a bit and the interviewer happened to walk by on his way to get coffee. He just kind of glanced at me and walked away.

Needless to say, I didn’t get the job. When I asked why, it was because of “cultural differences” and because “I didn’t want the job enough”. So I can’t be sure, but I don’t think my rant helped.

TL;DR: I complained about my interviewer and he just happened to hear it. I did not get the job.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/HeatMother208 on 2025-10-22 03:30:34+00:00.

This happened this morning and I still want to crawl into a hole and stay there.

So I was running late for work, half-awake, rummaging through my purse looking for my ChapStick. My lips were so dry they could start a brushfire. I felt the familiar tube shape, uncapped it, slathered it on generously, and went about my morning commute.

Halfway through the drive, I noticed my lips felt weird, like… numb. I looked at myself in the mirror at a red light and saw that the corners of my mouth looked slightly swollen. That’s when I noticed the faint lettering on the tube in my cup holder: “Preparation H.”

I froze. My partner had been dealing with, uh, personal discomfort last week and apparently left it in my bag after a trip. So yes, I greased my mouth with hemorrhoid cream.

I ended up calling poison control because I panicked (they were very calm about it and told me to wash it off). I’m now the woman who had to tell a stranger, “I accidentally moisturized with butt medicine.”

TL;DR: Mistook hemorrhoid cream for lip balm, my lips went numb, and I had to call poison control for my butt-mouth.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Designer-Lime-1871 on 2025-10-22 03:36:17+00:00.

This literally happened last night and I’m still internally screaming.

So, there’s this guy at work I’ve had a crush on for months. My friends know all about him. He sent me a funny meme yesterday, and I immediately took a screenshot to send to my best friend with the message:

“WHY IS HE SO CUTE I HATE HIM 😭😭😭”

Except I didn’t send it to her. I sent it to him.

Within two seconds I realized, stared in horror, and watched as the “seen” notification popped up. I tried to play it off by following up with “LMAO wrong person sorry” but he just replied, “I’ll take the compliment 😂.”

I haven’t been able to look at him since. I don’t want to actually see him because of shame.

TL;DR: Tried to gush about my crush to a friend, accidentally sent it to him instead, and got caught in 4K.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Strict-Warning-7822 on 2025-10-22 03:32:12+00:00.

This happened yesterday and I might need to transfer gyms.

I’ve been seeing this girl at my gym for months. We’ve talked a few times, she’s funny, down-to-earth, and way out of my league. Yesterday, I was on the treadmill when she walked past and waved. I tried to wave back but forgot I was still moving at a sprint. I almost faceplanted, caught myself, and everyone laughed.

She came over after and said, “You good?” and I, in a rush of adrenaline and embarrassment, blurted out “Yeah, I love you.”

Not joking. Not “I like you.” Not “I’m fine.” My dumb brain went straight to full emotional commitment.

She blinked, said “Wow, that escalated fast,” and walked off laughing. I had to stay another 30 minutes just to make it seem like I wasn’t fleeing the scene.

I’m considering moving cities at this point.

TL;DR: Tried to play it cool in front of my gym crush, almost fell on the treadmill, and accidentally confessed my love instead of saying I’m fine.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Sawoodster on 2025-10-22 02:21:22+00:00.

My wife and I are in the back of the house in our bedroom, and she’s like honey someone’s flashing a light through our front door. So I hop up, grab her gun and book out to the front. I see someone legit bending over looking in my front door with a flashlight. I yell out who the fuck are you? Then suddenly I hear (city) police department put down the gun as they draw their weapons. When I realize they are in fact cops I throw my gun down and they demand I come outside. It ends up our front light was flickering on and off and a neighbor called for a safety check in case it was some kind of SOS. After the fact they assured me I did nothing wrong and was just protecting my home and thanked me for cooperating. I apologized for scaring them with a gun too. Not exactly what I had on my Tuesday night bingo card.

Tl:Dr Cops come to my house to do a wellness check on a flashing porch light, I come to the door gun in hand, they draw back on me.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/youdthinkmecrazy on 2025-10-21 23:39:29+00:00.

I just got a call from my girlfriend. She sounds all warm and sweet as she says, "Did you give me this rock?"

Immediately can tell something is wrong. "Come again?" I ask.

She seems surprised by my response. "Did you give me this rock?" she asks again.

"Uhhhh... what rock?" I ask.

"There's a rock on my doorstep with a note that says, 'You are loved', and has the word 'bella' written on it."

"Uh, nope, that wasn't me."

"Oh," she replies.

Sooooo.... suddenly a moment that was (for her) sweet and caring turns creepy. It's the worst of both worlds. 1) She thought I did something nice for her and I didn't, so now I look really bad and she's disappointed. 2) She apparently has a stalker

The rest of that phone call was incredibly awkward

tl;dr secret admirer/stalker gave her a rock with a nice note and she thought it was from me

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Shwats on 2025-10-21 18:24:38+00:00.

Was pulling the battery out of one of my cars and needed to cut a zip tie, rather than going to grab sidecutters I just decided to use my knife. Well needless to say that wasn't the smartest idea when cutting at an awkward angle on something your holding. Seven stitches later and a few days off work will remind me to stop and think. The knife went into the base of my left thumb and left a approximately 2 inch long cut, luckily I missed all the tendons and still have use of my thumb. The worst part is the fact I was by myself at the shop where I work (this all happed two days ago on the weeked) going into shock and bleeding heavily. By chance my parents happened to drive by and I waved them down to take me to the hospital.

TL;DR in a rush to get shit done and stabbed my left thumb.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Effective-Top8213 on 2025-10-21 17:26:58+00:00.

TIFU by making my wedding photographer cry… tears of laughter

So, this occurred at my wedding

Our photographer was this composed, professional lady who could likely shoot a hurricane and get the most beautiful photograph. Everything was going well until the "romantic couple photos."

You know, the one where you're supposed to gaze adoringly into each other's eyes like it's a perfume commercial? Yeah, that's not really our thing. My husband and I are goofy gremlins who burst out laughing the moment we lock eyes.

So, she says, "Okay, now look at each other lovingly."

My husband smirks. I snort. Noisily. The type of snort that can be heard in valleys. The photographer promptly loses it. Then my husband, in the most sarcastic tone known to man, goes, "Well, there goes our Vogue cover."

That was it! the three of us just died. Laughter, sobbing, can't-breathe giggling. She actually had to sit down on the grass because her camera was shaking so hard. Guests were looking at her in the distance like, "Why is the bride on the ground laughing?"

When we received our photos afterwards, she had created a folder titled "The Real Us," full of all the blooper shots, my smudgy mascara, my husband posing for laughs as if in a shampoo commercial, and both of us in hysterics.

They were my favorite photos. Weddings are meant to be emotional, but in all seriousness? Ours was just laugh-out-loud us.

TL;DR: Tried to take romantic wedding photos, snorted like a cartoon, made the photographer laugh so hard she had to sit down, ended up with the best “bloopers” album ever

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ComprehensiveGuess14 on 2025-10-20 15:46:00+00:00.

My boyfriend(22M) and I (24F) have been together for about a year and a half. We’ve had some rough patches but he’s been adamant about marrying me since we got together. In the beginning I laughed it off or agreed lightheartedly. As the relationship went on we had more serious conversations about marriage, family, and expectations. Well right before our 1 year anniversary he broke up with me saying his life was too stressful. We got back together, and I broke up with him because I couldn’t get over him breaking up with me. It was a weird, rocky time but we’ve gotten back together. It took me almost 2 months before I felt comfortable in our relationship again. I’ve never had a problem with commitment, I’m the type that rides until the wheels fall off.

Well today he made another comment about us getting married and I admitted to him that I was scared of getting married. Not because I was scared of being committed but because it’s a huge responsibility and life change. Now he’s not really talking to me and is being dry. I’ve reassured him and let him know I do want to be with him for the rest of my life, but I feel horrible.

TL;DR: I told my boyfriend that I’m scared of marriage after we’ve been talking about it for a while.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Agreeable_Poem_7278 on 2025-10-21 08:12:15+00:00.

My 8-year-old niece was visiting and would not stop talking about some Minecraft YouTuber she's obsessed with. She was going on and on about his new series.

Trying to be the "cool" uncle, I said, "Oh yeah, I used to watch him! But honestly, I think his content really fell off a cliff a few years ago."

Her face immediately went white. Her bottom lip started trembling. "He... he DIED?" she whispered.

I realized my mistake. In her world, "fell off a cliff" is not a metaphor for a decline in quality; it's a literal, tragic death for a cartoon character. I spent the next hour trying to explain the concept of a metaphor to a sobbing child while frantically pulling up the YouTuber's active channel to prove he was still alive. She is now convinced I'm a liar who tried to trick her about a man's death.

TL;DR: Used a common idiom to describe a YouTuber's declining quality; my young niece thought I was announcing his tragic, literal death.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/theonenamedlingling on 2025-10-20 05:28:41+00:00.

TIFU and it cost me my pinky toe nail, some cotton balls, and sleeping at a reasonable time. I only paint my nails when I can or for a special occasion, but for the most part, I don’t because I can never paint it as well as the salon or just decently. It looks great for maybe 2 hours and then I look down and it’s smudge or has creases in it.

I decided to paint my toe nails because I have a wedding to go to on Saturday. I chose to paint my nails with that Sally Hansen clear nail gel, but what I didn’t realize is that I painted it actually painted it the “hard as nails” polish and idk what is in that thing. But my nails were solid. There was no bend at all.

But as I was going to sleep, I was walking in the hallway and kicked a box that was in the corner by accident and my pinky toe started hurting a lot. Then…the blood. My dogs were already in the bed looking at me strange as I was trying to minimize the blood and apply pressure. After 15 minutes of applying pressure the bleeding stopped, but I looked and my nail was broken across the nail almost to the cuticle. A quick Google search led me to freak out. It’s broken so far down that my entire nail bed is exposed. I’m not sure what to do exactly, but I washed it and cleaned it with alcohol (this hurt lol).

Now I’m here with a wrapped pinky toe (I put some antibiotic gel), and thinking, I really shouldn’t have painted my nails tonight. Cheers for work tomorrow. I’m lucky I work remotely atm because I don’t think wearing closed toed shoes would be a good thing. As for the wedding, hopefully I can recover so I can at least be comfortable. My pinky toe is swollen, my dogs sleeping in the corner, and my lesson for the night - no more painting my toe nails.

TL:DR I painted my toe nails, injured myself and now 90% of pinky nail is gone.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/MisterHeyDude on 2025-10-21 00:06:20+00:00.

This happened roughly 5 hours ago while I was at work and I might also be a huge dick for how I went about it, so feel free to rip me apart in the comments as it might be deserved. I'll try not to ramble too much but this may become a bit of a rabbit hole.

Some potentially helpful context ~ I (31M, single, probably autistic) have never really been bothered about dating, haven't used social media for quite some years. Have reddit to browse mostly and while I do have Tinder I really haven't put any effort into it and use it as more of a fidget device when I'm bored, not expecting anything to come of it because I don't present myself well, but still being open if anything should come about. I've been at my current job in a local pet food store for a little over 2 years and have come to know most of my customers pretty well and while I don't know all their names I recognize most faces. This one lady who we'll call Alice (~30F, fake name) started coming around I think early spring of this year, doesn't get her dog food through us but gets toys when she stops by maybe every other month. Conversation is usually short but pleasant, her dog is absolutely adorable and goes nuts for whatever toy Alice puts in front of her. About 3 weeks ago Alice had us order her a toy we don't keep in stock so I took her information, we gave her a call when it was in and...nothing. Around 2 weeks went by and we didn't hear anything from her so we just put it on the wall, stuff happens, it's no big deal.

Last week (about 2.5 weeks after her order was placed) by some coincidence I found Alice while I was bored swiping through Tinder and I had one of those small world moments and chuckled to myself. Swiped right because why not, she's cute, had some cool artwork in one of her photos, and profile seemed interesting but once again I really don't expect anything to come of it, and at this point wasn't even really sure if she was still shopping with us. Typically I don't like to mix business and personal relationships but I figured this time it was harmless because how could it possibly go anywhere.

That brings us to today and the FU. Alice comes in early afternoon and says "Hey, I'm here to pick up that toy I ordered" so I walked over to the wall and grabbed it for her since it hadn't sold yet and we started talking. Now I really set myself up for failure by foolishly mentioning "I accidentally saw some of your art recently it looked really cool" because it was. I didn't want to bring up Tinder because saying to someone directly "I saw you on Tinder" seems rather awkward and probably uncomfortable, and I'm not one to flirt with customers because you never know how it will go and I just don't see it as professional, and possibly losing someone over a comment going over poorly just isn't worth it. So then she asks me "Oh yeah? Where did you see it? Instagram or (I don't remember the second site she mentioned)" and in my head I'm immediately thinking "Oh shit, shouldn't have done that" so I shrink a bit and just kinda mumble "Tinder..." because at this point I really don't know how to get myself out of the situation I've started and immediately tried to pivot describing the drawing and just kinda saying "I thought the design was really cool" and at some point I mentioned something about tattoo inspiration but from that point in the conversation my memory is a bit spotty because I was in a bit of a panic. Shortly after to my surprise she asks me "Oh do you want to add me on Instagram?" To which I rather flatly stated "I don't use it" she responds "Oh..." and seemed maybe a bit down? But I didn't really think anything of it, and being so out of the loop with social media I just figured that people commonly exchange their alias' and that it's no big deal. The interaction lasted a few more minutes as she paid, took the tags off the toy to give to her dog and I still attempted to make small talk but it definitely felt off compared to a few minutes prior. She left and I went about my day. My manager who I was working with all day today (also a buddy of mine who got me the job) heard most of the conversation but never really chimed in at any point. About 2 hours later I had an "OH FUCK WAIT A MINUTE" moment, mentioned to him "You know I just realized when I told her I don't use Instagram she seemed to get a little down" to which he tells me "Yeah bud you fucked up, that was her basically extending you an olive branch and you pretty much told her to go fuck herself" Honestly I had a really good laugh for a moment, as it's certainly not the first time something like this has happened. I must have at least 4 other stories where I didn't realize until months, years or in one case more than a decade later, but at the same time I couldn't help but feel like a huge asshole because I can't imagine what it must feel like to be in a situation where "Hey this person seems to be showing interest in me, but then also shot me down". I certainly don't expect to see her again after today and if I do I'll probably just keep my stupid mouth shut because I just feel terribly about how that went down.

So let me know, was this a FU? If so how badly did I FU? I'll take any roasting people want to dish out.

TL;DR Found a new(ish) customer of mine on Tinder. Wanted to compliment her art thinking nothing of it, she offered to add me on Instagram which I told her I don't use. She left seemingly upset and I got told I'm a dumbass by my manager for fumbling the whole thing.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Hungry_Pup on 2025-10-20 22:06:16+00:00.

This was a long time ago. I was in kindergarten, so I'm 5. This was a different time. Cell phones didn't exist. When class is over, the kids are on their own. There's no supervision.

School just let out and I'm outside waiting for my mom. It's gloomy out and looks like it'll rain any minute.

I guess my parents never had that conversation with me about stranger danger and not going with people I don't know. This lady walks by me and goes "Hey! I know your mom." I didn't recognize her, but she's like it's cold out, it might rain, you should wait at my house. Very insistent, so I end up going with her.

She didn't live far from the school. She dropped me off, gave me a snack and then went back out.

My mom had gotten to the school and was starting to panic because she couldn't find me, but then this lady showed up and took my mom to her house.

I was lucky because she actually knew my mom. I could have just let myself get kidnapped. It's weird though because it's been decades since then and I still have no idea who that lady was.

TL:DR: Followed a stranger to her house. Could have been kidnapped.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ContributionNo2796 on 2025-10-20 05:41:19+00:00.

My whole family has gotten sick over the last two weeks and i am the last to catch and recover from it. One of those illnesses that makes you keep tissues always at the ready. So after a couple days of wiping my nose it starts getting really chapped. My lips dont feel great either. So i go and grab some vaseline. I have a big tub in by medicine cabinet.

A couple more days go by and im occasionally rubbing vaseline on my lips and nose, though not too often because i know my skin needs to breathe too. But today i start noticing my nose is getting more sore not less. Not too concerned because im still pretty sick. But today i went through less tissues than ever and my nose is still getting worse. After dinner im touching it and it feels a little swollen with a bump or two.

Then it dawns on my. Oh no. The vaseline. Ive been using it for months. So has my daughter. We use it most often when we have chapped lips. And we both get cold sores. I personally dont use vaseline when i know i have a cold sore, but i cant always tell right away, and i have no idea how careful my daughter is.

I go to check in the bathroom mirror and unless i am mistaken i indeed have a cold sore forming on my nose.

Why me?

I cry to the sky

Tldr: used vaseline on my chapped nose that likely had been used during a cold sore outbreak spreading the virus to my nose.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/iamprofessionalest on 2025-10-20 00:21:18+00:00.

As long as I’ve been doing laundry, I put all my clothes in the dryer on high heat so they can get dry and I can put them away. I was never really taught how to do laundry so this was how I’ve always done it. Eventually I started hang drying a few items I was worried would shrink.

I’ve gained a few pounds the last few years, nothing crazy, but I’ve been trying to get my weight down so I can fit into all my favorites outfits. I tried on an old garment yesterday since I was a bit lighter and it still didn’t fit, and the way in which it was tight didn’t even seem indicative of weight gain. They were overalls and the legs weren’t as baggy as they used to be. I tried on another pair of baggy pants and saw they had the same issue.

It was then I realized that most of my wardrobe that I can’t fit anymore is cotton, and while I’ve honed my laundry skills a bit over the years, I’ve still been putting most everything in the dryer on high heat for a full cycle. This whole time I thought I was delusional about how much weight I’ve gained, when I’ve been shrinking my clothes over the years.

TL;DR: I’ve been drying my clothes in the dryer on high heat for years and I thought I’d gained a ton of weight, I’ve actually shrunk all my clothes

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/babyxgirlll on 2025-10-19 16:56:37+00:00.

So last night I went out drinking with some friends. It wasn’t anything crazy, we just did some bar hopping and had a few to many tequila shots. I usually don’t drink much so by midnight I was basically running on autopilot. I called an Uber, got dropped off and stumbled up the stairs in my apartment building and let myself in. At least I thought I did. The door wasn’t locked, which I thought was weird but in my drunk brain I figured I probably forgot to lock it earlier.

I went straight to the bedroom, threw my clothes on the floor and crashed. A couple hours later I woke up to someone screaming like they saw a murder. I jumped up and there was this woman standing in the doorway holding a lamp like she was about to wack me.

Turns out I wasn’t in my apartment. I had walked into my neighbor’s - one floor down. The layouts are identical so drunk me didn’t notice a thing. Apparently her roommate had just left the door unlocked after coming home and I just wandered in.

She called the cops. I had to explain to two very unimpressed officers that I wasn’t trying to break in, I was just an idiot who can’t handle tequila and doesn’t know which floor she lives on. Luckily my upstairs neighbor vouches for me, but it was still a super humiliating walk of shame that I've ever done.

TL;DR: Got drunk, thought I was in my apartment, actually slept in my neighbor’s bed. She called the cops. I’m now officially the weird girl in the building.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/BookGnomeNoelle on 2025-10-19 14:51:02+00:00.

This happened Thursday, but there were repercussions, apparently.

I work the front station for a clinic, and help patients with their paperwork if they need. It's afternoon and a new lady comes in. She's already grumpy because she has to do seven pages of paperwork, I'm grumpy because she's taking her attitude out on me, and I just want 5:00 to hit.

I offer to help her with her paperwork, and she says, "I'd appreciate it" but she says it in this snarky tone of voice, like it's the least I can do for her. Then she follows it up with, "It's bad enough all these questions make me feel like a r-word." If you're not sure what word that is, it's the one people would use for mental impairments.

I hate that word. I hate it with a passion. It's a disgusting way for people to excuse their willful stupidity. I reacted without thinking and said, "That was my nickname in school." At first she stopped and asked, "Excuse me?" So I repeated, "Yeah, they called me that back in school, it was my nickname." I was dead-eye staring at her the whole time.

She stared at me for a few uncomfortable seconds, then she took the paperwork and sat down. When she went back, she apparently brought up my comment to the doctor, because I got pulled back to her office to discuss the situation after the patient left.

Then Friday, I got called into the manager's office. And I got heavily chastised, because "sometimes our patients may make rude and nasty comments, but it's our job to take care of them so they feel comfortable." Of course, I was written up for my actions. I'm angry about the situation, and I pointed out that she made herself uncomfortable by using that word. But I was still clearly in the wrong.

Tl;Dr - Patient said a nasty word and I made her uncomfortable by saying "that was my nickname in school" and now I'm written up at my job.

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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/janfebmarch23 on 2025-10-19 13:48:08+00:00.

*This happened a few weeks ago

My husband and I frequent a smoothie place on the weekends after working out. A few Saturdays ago, as per usual, we stopped by to get our post workout snack. They know us enough that we all clearly recognize each other when we go in, and our order is always the same - a smoothie for me and a smoothie bowl for my husband.

We saw our order was almost ready so we walked towards the counter as the lovely (larger) lady making our smoothies was trying to put a lid on my husband's bowl. As I got closer, I noticed she had really hooked it up and had loaded the bowl to the brim so I said, "ooh she's a fat one!" but then the lady suddenly looked a bit flustered and I thought it was weird but shrugged it off and as we grabbed our goods and turned to leave, I could see my husband was fighting for his life and when we got outside he insisted that the lady thought I was calling her "a fat one", not the smoothie bowl........

I was MORTIFIED but couldn't get myself to go in and clarify it with her so we drove away and now my husband will periodically say, "she's a fat one!" to me and crackle as I shrink in horror 😭

I am further mortified by the fact that we have literally not seen her working since, and I seriously seriously hope it wasn't because of that incident omggg.

TL;DR: I called a generously portioned smoothie bowl "a fat one" but the smoothie making lady thought I was calling her "a fat one." She's been MIA since.