Tom Swifty Jokes

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A place to share and appreciate Tom Swifty jokes.

Rules:

  1. No bigotry allowed.

  2. Put the whole joke in the title.

  3. If posting a joke taken from elsewhere, cite the source and trim links of any metadata.

founded 2 years ago
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Nemo@midwest.social
Nemo@slrpnk.net
listing: all - local
26
1
"For your insolence in disrespecting me, I shall become a scourge upon your kingdom", Ishtar said urbanely. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by funwiththoughts@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
27
3
"Don't call me Francis," he said, being frank. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by Nemo@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC

28
1
"I come to pay respects to mighty Genghis", Tom contributed (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by funwiththoughts@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
29
2
"I have committed no crime", Tom pled in a sense. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by funwiththoughts@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
30
2
"I'll force that little demon to do something", Tom said, making an impact. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by funwiththoughts@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
31
1
"Listen Robo-Jack, you need to work on your punctuality!", Tom ejaculated (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by aberrate_junior_beatnik@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
32
2
"Vegetarian dishes only", Tom metes out. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by funwiththoughts@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
33
2
"Remember to change it up every seven days", Tom said very weakly. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by funwiththoughts@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
34
2
"I named my aircraft in honour of the god of the Sun", Tom said apologetically (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by funwiththoughts@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
35
1
"According to my cat, it's dinnertime," said Tom purposefully. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by Nemo@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC

36
1
"The whole company was found guilty of criminal activity", Tom said with firm conviction. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by funwiththoughts@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
37
1
"What are your plans for this roast chicken?" said Tom, trying to keep abreast. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by Nemo@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC, first posted

38
2
"I take joy in the triumphs of my parishioners," said Tom vicariously. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by Nemo@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
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OC, first posted

39
2
"Even though we 'broke up', she's still my woman!" Tom exclaimed. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by Nemo@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC, first posted

40
1
"Oh, I eat everything," said Tom in jest. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by Nemo@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC, first posted

41
1
"Biden is twice the man that Charles is!", Tom said half-jokingly. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by funwiththoughts@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
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42
1
"Haven't you heard me singing in church?" Tom inquired. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by Nemo@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
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OC, first posted

43
1
"The French don't deserve our thanks!" said Tom mercilessly. (slrpnk.net)
submitted 2 years ago by Nemo@slrpnk.net to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC, first posted

44
1
"Just being allowed to come in is something that I cherish", Tom said enterprisingly. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by funwiththoughts@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
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45
1
"My name is actually spelled T-O-O-O-M," he said, morosely. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by Nemo@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC, first posted

46
2
"Should I take the worm off the hook?", Tom was debating (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by funwiththoughts@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
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47
2
"Can't talk. Busy camping." replied Tom, intent. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by Nemo@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
 
 

OC, first posted at https://www.reddit.com/r/TomSwifty/comments/dl2ds0/cant_talk_busy_camping_replied_tom_intent

48
1
"Under the mask, I was just a bowl of noodles the entire time!" said the imposter. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 years ago by Nemo@midwest.social to c/tomswifty@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
 
 

This is the first one I wrote since the reddit blackout.