memes

Well, I can't believe fighting a bird has come up twice in a two day span.

But, how are you going to grab its neck?

You're in the water, with a big-ass set of wings pounding at you, a beak that is pounding at you, with their raucous calls disorienting you.

You aren't going to be seeing clearly. You'll be blinking, flinching, and maybe even keeping your eyes closed so they don't get injured.

And now you want to reach out and grab that moving neck.

I'm not saying it's impossible. But it isn't exactly as easy as people seem to think.

I've been attacked by geese while fishing. And it was on land, where I should have an advantage what with being able to stand firmly. I've fought humans and dogs before and come away with only minor injuries. Big birds are harder to manage.

But, nah, you aren't just precisely grabbing the neck of a big-ish bird when it comes at you. You think you're fast, and you may be. But you aren't enraged bird fast.

Those necks are also wiggly and feathered. So getting a grip if you manage to make the initial grab isn't a guarantee.

Then what are you going to do with it? Even on land, you aren't going to be able to 100% kill the bird just because you have its neck. You aren't going to be able to just throw it either.

In the water? Your footing is less stable to begin with, so all of the above is harder.

Also, killing or injuring the bird isn't necessarily desirable. You can get into trouble doing that, depending on where it happens. Even if you won't, swans and geese don't attack humans just because. There's always a reason because fighting is dangerous. Aggression definitely has a survival benefit, but not when it's random.

So now you're the asshole that went somewhere there were birds nesting, or eating, or resting and instead of backing off when they warned you (and they usually do), and you're trying to injure or kill it when all it wants is you to go away. That's a seriously douchey thing to do.

Think about it.