this post was submitted on 23 May 2025
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Birds aren’t real
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They used to be. Until the U.S. Government replaced them with drone replicas designed to spy on the American public. Founded in 1976.
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i have two "conures", and i'm convinced that they're just hyperactive, autistic, perpetual children in disguise
don't forget the separation anxiety and what I can only imagine is ptsd from a previous life
i swear they're not really birds, just bird-shaped tortured souls living out their feather-clad punishment. their tiny heads are far too small to justify the shit that must be going on inside them. wonderful, totally unique creatures.
but definitely NOT birds.
(edit - i should add that they're ridiculously happy and i love them more than anything. but still, not birds. i've had birds. these are not birds.)
our poor little guy was from a shelter and probably never let out to fly. its been 2 years and he finally learned how to fly in a normal looking manner. He used to just hover in place until someone put their hand under him or slowly lower to the ground. He used to just panic and freak out if anyone tried to leave the room but now he can fly over. We get him to calm down by dancing until he starts dancing too.