this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2025
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Er, yes actually, I think there's an outright fetishization of this. It's one of the things that drives the enduring multi-generation popularity of the Joker & Harley Quinn characters.
Beyond the simplistic "I can fix him!" trope (which is a reflection of behavior that real people exhibit) there's a kind of strange attraction that some individuals have to a person who does not generally display affection - they want to win affection from that person because it feels exclusive, it feels special, and that makes them special.
It's part of why you see some people go back to the same bad relationships, the same abusive partners repeatedly (there's also the sunk-cost fallacy).
You might say, "oh, but that's just a few unhealthy people", but I don't think that's true. These behaviors exist as tropes in our media because they are relatable to many audiences - which means that the behavior is fairly common, everyone knows somebody who acts that way.
Hey, I wanna be respectful and ask before I give my two cents. I'm a supportive dude (read I was raised by not a terrible influence) but I didn't want to insert myself into conversations where my opinion isn't welcome.
Is it alright if I chime in? (Totally valid to tell me to fuck off, I respect the need for certain zones of exclusion)
Personally I'm extremely leery of echo chambers, so my opinion is yes, if you want to contribute to the discussion in a constructive way then do so.
After all, the only way to learn and grow beyond your own individual experience is to gain from someone else's experience.
Counterpoint:
99.44% of Lemmy groups are male dominated (even the ones ostensibly about women). I don't think the one single group that is women-only is about to turn into an echo chamber.