this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2026
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A lot of men think differently than women about relationships though. A lot of men would:
Fundamentally know they would be happiest with a woman who respects them and treats them softly and with love and treats the relationship as a partnership.
Concurrently, they would be happy to accept sex if it were freely offered with no risks (but there ARE very clear risks that sometimes make them balk at sex even being worth that anyway).
They believe that past behavior predicts future behavior. They see women that they would sleep with but never marry.
End result: the men willing to take the risk sleep with all the women they want to. Women all sleep with that shared small group of men. Those men don't commit, they have all the sex they want and never intended to commit. The men that would have committed were friend zoned, turned down, or ignored, took that at face value as they are not valued or in demand. Ultimately choose a peaceful life as a hermit enjoying whatever they can find happiness in. Hobbies, games, friends, etc.
Is selection bias a term or did I just make that up? Perhaps women get an incomplete understanding of men because they only interact with the men they choose to interact with. At minimum I know confirmation bias definitely comes into play with all these social interactions and assumptions. And men get an incomplete picture of women just from sheer lack of exposure. They only know what they see using what limited means of remote study. Social media, news, anecdotes from each other, etc.
In my experience, the men who hook up a lot also generally end up settling down. The ones who don't, don't.
That sounds like you're saying "it is what it is." Which I agree with.
I was a bit hyperbolic, you're right, I apologize. They do settle down when they want to, on their time scale, but their preferences also correlate with other parameters that should be considered.
The higher social status, the more selective the man who has been pursued by women gets to be. He may say to himself I prefer a younger woman that has fewer relationships, and thus a real statistically relevant lower risk of having had traumatic experiences and the resulting damage that may affect her ability to trust him and view him through an adversarial lens.
Look at DiCaprio. People can balk all they want at the age gap thing, but consenting adults gonna bang. And he gets to be as selective as he wants and he'll never not have options.
But my ADHD has made me forget what point I was even trying to make. Sorry I ramble often.
Edit ok now that I went and re read the post I can get back to topic.
So that's my take on the men that hook up a lot. Now the other side!
The men who don't hook up don't get married. Yeah, that makes sense to me. They are too afraid to do what it takes. And honestly I think that's coming from a pervading sense of hopelessness that is growing and growing amongst that demographic. And extrapolating that further, worries me greatly. Fear leads to anger leads to Yoda was right leads to shit is on fire yo!