this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
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Comradeship // Freechat

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This post is as much for me as it is for all of you. I'm doing some live self reflection and criticism here.

I've been growing more and more frustrated with "Lemmy is becoming Reddit!" or more accurately, "the people from Reddit are bringing their bad habits and toxicity over to Lemmy." But upon closer inspection, it's mostly one instance that has by far the biggest problem with this and act by far the most like Reddit. Think you all know which instance I'm talking about. I've been finding myself writing paragraph or even multi paragraph responses to random people's hot takes which they probably spent two seconds thinking through before posting, and I have been deleting them because I realized that I don't fucking care and it's not worth my own time, energy, or mental health. And I'm the kind of person where if they respond with some sarcastic meme comment or a further bad take, I literally cannot stop myself from engaging further, writing walls of text addressing in detail every one of their points that they probably won't read before closing with "ok Tankie" or something.

At some point I had to ask myself, why are you doing this? You've just ruined your free time on Lemmy because of someone else's shit take or toxicity. Fennekin, don't fucking engage the next time you see something that pisses you off, because you could write a book, complete with links to scientific papers (which I have done in the past), it's not going to resolve your being pissed off and who the hell do you think you're trying to actually convince with a detailed response when there is clearly a hive mind that's the genetic clone of the one from Reddit? If I think I actually have a good chance of convincing them or others that might see my comment, then yeah I will still totally write a wall of text to that effort. But in the vast majority of times this is far from the case, and I can more effectively spend my time elsewhere, like maybe actually engaging in discussions with more rational people where they could potentially be convinced by me and I could also potentially be convinced by them. To say that every single non-socialist is like the average Reddit lib would be totally wrong of course, as would be saying there is nothing we can learn from non-socialists, but I actually need to go out and look for those more rational and open minded people, which there are plenty of. Even if I'm not in a debate those people are generally more pleasant to interact with.

If you can go in and debate those people and maintain your own sanity and baseline mood, I applaud you. But I can't. So I'm just not going to engage at all. That does not actually mean I'm going to start removing my access to lib content by blocking it or anything, I still think it's important as a socialist to at least be aware of the takes of the opposition. And like I said in a comment just an hour or so ago, I'm confident enough in my beliefs and ideologies that I'm by no means threatened by these people, quite the opposite in fact, which is why I compulsively try to correct them and respond to them. No more of that, I need to keep myself happy first, or if not happy then at least not pissed off whenever I go on Lemmy.

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[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

As a ❗ ❗ ❗ debate pervert ❗ ❗ ❗ , I maintain my sanity because arguing with people is fun for me and I don't take it super seriously.

... or maybe I've eroded my sanity so far that I've fooled myself into thinking this is fun.

[–] pinkdrunkenelephants@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago
[–] Jonathan12345@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Out of the three times I've engaged, two times it was friendly fire. I'm always so eager to jump into arguments because it's fun, yet I suck at it...

[–] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago

You could try checking post history or something.

[–] macabrett@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

I had to stop myself a few times today. Federation has been weird as a hexbear user. We have such a nice community over here and it's weird to see liberal takes in our communities. We'll bully them all away eventually.

[–] Zodiark@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I kind of learned to just let that go and just ignore debatebros/reddit arguments. Not only is it not worth it, but it isn't useful as a tool to reinforce and articulate my own beliefs. I suppose if you do engage in that sort of argumentation, and you want to convince an audience while at it, you should do so to build your persuasive essay skills. Ultimately, this behavior just becomes an exhausting endeavor when you've reached a certain skill ceiling in writing.

(There are some subjects where I'd just revert into a debatebro, like on the question of ATAB, but otherwise it's just trite to get sucked into those arguments)

[–] Crazazy@feddit.nl 4 points 2 years ago

Oh hey I come from the other side (Reddit in this case). But yeah I feel like I used to have the energy to go into debate with people about stuff, but I then just think "I can't take making more replies like this" and just cancel the post. Problem is right now Lemmy is kinda empty. It feels like it requires contribution to a certain degree that means I can't just simply "lurk more, post less to avoid the most stress"

Still gonna try and do that nonetheless tho lmao

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