this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2024
841 points (98.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

32638 readers
4153 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] tenchiken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 80 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"your hot wife obviously is suffering from sexy demons. I need to use my specialized equipment to vigorously purge them from her, once each evening, and sometimes just after lunch..."

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 61 points 1 year ago (3 children)

That sounds far fetched until you remember that they diagnosed women with hysteria and treated them by giving them orgasms. When the vibrator was invented to treat muscle pain much later, doctors latched onto them for treating hysteria to give their hands a break.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 43 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Absolutely. Hystéra is Greek for uterus. Hysteria, or the “roaming uteri” theory was a successor to Plato’s theory of hysterical suffocation. They believed that the uterus could migrate around the body, placing pressure on internal organs. It’s like gynecological fan fiction.

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago

When pregnant that's a pretty good explanation of what it does though. Uterus just tells everybody up to the diaphragm to get outta the fucking way.

[–] KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Duh. Uterus is Latin. Thanks. I’ll edit for clarity.

[–] KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I had to look it up myself lol

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I couldn’t remember the spelling of the Greek word, so I looked it up yesterday for that comment. I searched “Greek word for uterus” and then wrote Latin in the comment like a dingus.

Not only was Plato Greek, but Latin words that end in “us” are pluralized with an “i.” It was all right there mocking me. Lol

[–] KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wasn't at all mocking! It wasn't even me who caught it. My GF was like "Hmmm, thats too internet-only-fact" and looked it up. Just passing it along cause I sure as shit didn't know lol

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

No worries! I didn’t take it as such. I meant the comment itself was mocking me. I knew better.

[–] KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh, yeah, that feeling sure is fun... especially when it catches a hyperfixation wave.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Have you been talking to my therapist? Lol

[–] KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No we just gone so crazy that you don't even remember I'm you buddy! Try and remember on Wednesday, it's embarrassing when we don't check the mirror on our way out the door, can't have that happening again.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Not after that Hoffstadtler presentation mishap, no.

You’re fun. I hope you and your girlfriend have a great weekend!

Lol thanks! I feel the same. Enjoy what's left of your weekend too!

[–] Dadifer@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

I think that makes up for a lot of bad things that were done.

[–] KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I think you responded to the wrong comment

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is your username a modem interpretation of OMGWTFBBQ?

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I'm not sure I've seen that one, but it does seem to have the same vibe.

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

that still exists today in Turkey

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago

Well in that case

Merhaba, bugün doktorunuz olacağım. Lütfen eteğinizi kaldırın, iç çamaşırınızı çıkarın ve her zamanki pozisyonu alın.

[–] PlexSheep 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can you tell us more? It sounds legitimately interesting.

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

well your regular small scale religious cult leader being the main point of contact for every health concern (because they set up shop in a very rural area with a lot of religious conservatism and limited health care). People go to them for all sorts of reasons and when you are a female the general answer is you are infested with demons I can help you personally in my bedroom. It is especially ironic when they go to this person because a female cant get pregnant and then voilà!

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 44 points 1 year ago

The only logical solution is for me to blow pipe tobacco smoke in your butthole.

[–] DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works 39 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"You got hysteria lady, time for a finger blasting session."

[–] mrgreyeyes@feddit.nl 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

They used a vibrator because they did not want to get tired.

[–] modus@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I've never heard that term for an intern.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MTK@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

Lol, you can still do that, just call it "the truth that big pharma doesn't want you to know"

[–] sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Credit to John Mulaney for this joke

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] variants@possumpat.io 13 points 1 year ago

Sadly you could still do this today and charge insurance in the US as long as people don't care you're charging their insurance.

[–] Theharpyeagle@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Something about the phrasing "you should do a lot of cocaine about it" really tickles me. I wonder what you call breaking grammar rules for humor like that.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Not to leave out covering your forehead in leeches to suck out evil.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You've got a horrible infection and a fever?

I'll be right over to slit your veins and let all the bad blood out.

(In fairness I think bloodletting was mostly out of practice by the time actual telephones existed, but lol joke)

Maybe a more time period accurate one would be:

Your foot hurts? You think its from a badly fit shoe. Ok. Ok. Come over tomorrow and we will stick your foot into the wildly overpowered and unshielded x ray scope and we'll see what can be done.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sadly (or not), they werent making shit up, they actually believed what they said

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Yep. Thats a demographic that has gotten a whole lot more exposure lately

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There is a ghoti swimming in your veins

[–] LoreleiSankTheShip@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

Do you have a ghoti-ing licence for that joke? Wild ghoti must be preserved, you know!

Let’s not forget, keeping your ear to an ample bosom “listening” for heart sounds.

load more comments
view more: next ›