this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
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To be fair I still do these things but only when I'm alone.

Personally I love finding big puddles and then dig drains with a stick or my heel and watch the water flow.

Also love to throw a piece of wood into water and then toss stones high up in the air and try hit it imagining it's a warship I'm trying to bomb.

Then also without going into details there are some pieces of clothing I would like to wear but don't because they're considered femine or gay.

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[–] Tiritibambix@lemmy.ml 64 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I do whatever the fuck I want, unless it is unpolite or could hurt somebody's freedom.

I learnt that, as I don't give a shit about what people are doing, they must also don't give a shit either. People just care about themselves most of the time. The day I realized that, I had a strong freedom feeling.

Having kids multiplied this attitude by 1000 and actually, I see people smiling and interacting with us while we're fooling around.

GO PLAY WITH FUCKING PUDDLES WEARING PINK PANTIES ON YOUR HEAD MY DUDE ! I might join you.

[–] homoludens@feddit.de 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ideally yes. But as a guy I have been insulted in public for small things like wearing nail polish, and that's in a liberal German city. Most people don't care, some don't like it, some compliment it and some make me feel unsafe.

And that of course has an effect in other areas too: what if my boss or my coworkers don't like me wearing nail polish? They would never be open about it (our company would not allow it), but it might lead to some bias against me. And as they wouldn't be open about it, I couldn't react to it (by calling them out or changing jobs). Instead I might just advance more slowly and wonder why that is. It really fucks with your mind, when you know there is bias against you (or something you do) but you never know in which situations it actually comes into play.

I still wear nail polish most of the time, because fuck the haters and we need to make progress somehow, but it's not as easy as "I don't care about them so they don't care about me".

[–] Tiritibambix@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 years ago

I got you. Of course it's easier said than done. But you got to be nuanced and able to read the room. Maybe think ahead to avoid being in trouble (work, edgy neighborhoods).

But in the end, you must not care. Even insults. Insults have the value only you give to them.

Take care β™₯️

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[–] henfredemars 34 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

I've always been such a child at heart and my soul is bursting with whimsical energy when I see kids playing pretend at the playground next to where I walk my dogs. I'd love to play pretend with them, encourage the children to really let their imaginations run wild and free. I was often lost in my own world as child. I know what it's like to be so consumed by it. I want to fight the robot king, too!

I'm an adult male however. I would definitely look like a child predator, so I must go on my way.

[–] humanfactor@feddit.de 14 points 2 years ago

To all of you guys who enjoy playing pretend, I want to suggest to try playing improv theater. There are often beginner courses and its a kind of slightly guided cooperative make believe. My personal recommendation: try long form Impro and not just short form (which I learned to be the goofier of the two). For me it was very freeing to find an outlet for this stuff where it’s suddenly even cool.

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[–] LongPigFlavor@lemmy.ml 26 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (5 children)

In my past I used to take on janitorial or maintenance jobs, but the grossness of the job combined with the attitude of the general public just made it unbearable. People would ask me if I was a citizen and when I said yes, they'd tell me that it's a job for immigrants. They'd also say that it's a job for slaves and ask if I felt like a slave doing that kind of work.

[–] Elferrerito@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Some people are so horrible...

[–] grayman@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

Go get a job pumping septic tanks. Customer disrespects you? Walk off the job leaving them with backed up poo. Generally people are glad to see you. Good money if you can get to the point of running your own truck. Some dudes making good money posting about septic pumping on YouTube too. Get out the auger and whip up a poop smoothie. Mmmm! Smells like money!

[–] WololoWarrior@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Holy shit. Those are horrible people.

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[–] Dubious_Fart@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 years ago

I used to do Janitorial work, And I got respect for it.

And you deserve respect for it to.

because decent people understand you are the fulcrum upon which their nice world balances on.

People like you deal with have less value than the effluence from an overflowing toilet.

Sorry you deal with such shitty people man.

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[–] xxmikelxx@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago

not much these days. ever since I realised people will judge you even if you don't do anything. e.g. I used to be shy because i was worried about what they'd think of me when i spoke. this caused them to think I'm shy. so I made a decision that I'd rather have people judge me for who I am rather than for someone I'm not.

[–] stiephel@feddit.de 18 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Sounds like you're still a kid at heart. I've got a 2yr old and I immensely enjoy playing these sorts of games with him. My wife always jokes that I'm using the sandbox more than him, she even snapped a couple of pics of me playing alone in there.

What kind of clothes are you talking about? A skirt on a man is still pretty courageous, but if you're talking about a pink shirt just go for it. You'll not be judged.

[–] Thorny_Thicket@sopuli.xyz 12 points 2 years ago (2 children)

What kind of clothes are you talking about?

Overknee socks, crop tops, tiny shorts, speedos, yoga pants ...

I'm perfectly aware that it's not that others care that's holding me back but the fact that I care. Doesn't make it any easier though.

[–] ekky43@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Ayy, speedos gang! May others avert their eyes if they can't handle me and all my sexiness, and may the rest of you, girls or guys, enjoy the eye candy.

Regarding the original question, while I'm already running around in speedos, I absolutely wouldn't mind some more colorful clothes, or perhaps some final fantasy/guild wars inspired clothing. Like those outer coats that go all the way to your shoes, but with decorations and stuff. But I feel that the included judging is a commitment I'm not ready for yet.

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[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 15 points 2 years ago (8 children)

Breaking my very long period of unplanned celibacy.

I think I could get laid, but I’m worried I wouldn’t perform well in bed and that I’d be shamed for it.

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[–] jivemasta@reddthat.com 14 points 2 years ago (6 children)

Wear a fanny pack/carry a non-backpack bag as a man.

It's so convenient to have a bag full of stuff on you. Like I'm out and have a headache, boom Aspirin. At dinner and got some food in your teeth, bam flosser. It's very satisfying when a situation comes up and you have the exact thing to solve a problem right there in your bag. But a backpack is too big and bulky and anything smaller becomes a purse and this looks down upon for a man to carry.

I only get the courage to wear it when on a trip where I can overly justify it. Like hiking, or a theme park or convention. I feel like if it was an everyday thing I'd have to explain it or hear about it more than I'd want to.

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[–] dosse91@lemmy.trippy.pizza 13 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

I've been into BDSM stuff since I was a kid basically, but I've always been to embarrassed to tell anyone or act on it because it's some seriously kinky shit.

[–] wildwhitehorses@aussie.zone 8 points 2 years ago

Fetlife.com

[–] 1847953620@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Local bdsm club

[–] regalia@literature.cafe 12 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (5 children)

I'm so scared to be seen, that I can't even go for a walk. I also want to get skateboard, but I can't for the same reason. I'm terrified to be seen alone, or just seen in general.

Yet despite this, somehow I'm the opposite of that and manage a bunch of girls with compete confidence when I'm at work. I also have to deal with a ton of customers and don't even hesitate to say no or let them have negative judgement to me. I'm very socially competent and meet new people all the time without fear of rejection and opening up. I definitely stand out, in a good way.

Yet I'm scared of them simply watching me going for a walk outside??

[–] Thorny_Thicket@sopuli.xyz 7 points 2 years ago

Interesting. I'm not scared of being seen but I like to not be seen. I spend a lot of time in nature and I always wear only earth tones. I like it when other people pass me up close but fail to notice me. I wonder if it has something to do with my voyeuristic tendencies. I love to just sit in a cafe to and watch people passing by.

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[–] ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Personally, I'd love to give streaming a go, the Twitch kind. I like playing games and I want to share my time with others, but social anxieties say otherwise

[–] charles@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I used to stream a bit back in the justin.tv days and I would usually only get a handful of viewers but even to this day, it was some of the most unique gaming experiences I had. I used to try and play games that no one was streaming/talking about and a couple of times I actually ended up with the devs watching the stream and those were such great memories.

One time, I played this flash game where you had timed "lives" and the dev was watching (without me knowing) when I ran out of lives. I mentioned I'd be going to play something else while I waited for my lives to come back and he sent me a DM telling me that he would go and remove the timer so I could keep playing if I wanted.

That being said, I haven't streamed since then and I'm honestly not even sure how I'd start again. I don't think I'd ever enjoy having a large audience but I definitely enjoyed playing with a few people helping out on what to do next.

[–] Matcha_Mecha@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

As a pretty much nobody streamer man on twitch, not even affiliate yet (I'm so close yet so far), I also struggle with social anxiety but find that streaming has been pretty easy for me. It's different than actually having to interact with people face to face, so it feels more like talking on a thread than irl interaction.

Of course that's just my experience and my anxieties may be on a much lower level than yours, but I recommend giving it a go if you think you'd have fun with it!

[–] Devi@kbin.social 11 points 2 years ago

There's loads of little daft hobbies I either don't do at all or hide. I went magnet fishing with a friend once, we found some cool jewellery that I still have and it was fun, so I went home and bought my own kit, I've never been though cause I don't want to be that person doing it alone, or to actually ask anyone to come. Just lives in a box.

[–] sanguinepar@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Practicing DJing. Neither my wife nor daughter are into their quality house music (neither am I, they would argue... πŸ˜€) and we have elderly neighbours, so I find it hard to find time to make a real effort to practice, and get self-conscious and disheartened pretty quickly.

My setup is in our living room area, so it's not very convenient when people are doing just about anything downstairs. Would love to have a bit more space to make mistakes and make a noise without it bothering others.

I'd still be crap at it right enough... ;-)

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[–] SneakyWeasel@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Bone gnawing for me. And I genuinely mean that, I find gnawing on a piece of bone insanely calming for me, but it makes literally everyone I talk to insanely uncomfortable. I love gnawing on bbq ribs, chicken wing bones, pork chop bones, T bones. I love bone marrow and trying to dig for it. Family says it's bad etiquette, though my partner doesn't mind.

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[–] not_amm@beehaw.org 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I'd be more comfortable with physical contact. I'm NB, but most people still perceive me and treat me as a man (even though I've said many times that I'm not) and that comes with the stigma of keeping distance.

I also love to play with LEGOs, it's kind of therapeutical I guess. It's just me, talking about random things. It's the same with videogames, I mostly play RPGs, but it isn't as "weird".

BTW, while I'm non-binary, I'm still involved in man's problems because I live them for my appearence. I also help some male friends with their problems with masculininty and feminism, so they don't end up being redpilled alpha sigma males lol

[–] miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (22 children)

Pretty much that last paragraph of yours.

I don't care if people see me as childish, weird, or even dumb. I do lots of things that make me seem all of those things.

But that makes me hesitate for some reason.

I did open up about it to some friends I was sure wouldn't judge, and it helped a lot.

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[–] Monster96@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (16 children)

Basically everything. Telling a joke that I love. Showing excitement for something I love. Doing my silly voices; especially my batman and girl voice. Taking my shirt off. And so much more. Damn social anxiety and confidence issues.

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[–] lemann@lemmy.one 7 points 2 years ago

Thinking out loud

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 7 points 2 years ago

Probably make videos of interesting things I do. Sometimes I do something and think this is the kind of stuff I watch on YouTube.

[–] irmoz@reddthat.com 7 points 2 years ago
[–] Uvine_Umbra@partizle.com 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Travel the Caribbean & document my travels & the cultures & concerns of the people I meet with my own eyes

Why not? Well, I'm an actual idiot in reading social situations, Knowing who to trust, inferring details, attempting any meaningful level of reading comprehension on the spot, avoiding the urge to hyper focus on random stuff (makes people uncomfortable sometimes), trying to be humourous in terms of wordplay, and nowadays just avoiding social exhaustion.

Now with all that, imagine the amount of judgement & talking down to I've gotten just entering into social events or even bars.

A trip to the Caribbean to understand people?

Not happening lmao!!!

To those of you who can, you're all blessed.

Nothing. I truly do not give a fuck anymore.

The key is to accept there will be social consequences and to ignore them. Once people see the consequences they impose do not affect you, especially after they escalate which they will do at first, they'll stop and accept your behavior.

[–] TheWoozy@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

ITT: People who want to cross-dress and relive their childhood. I heartily approve of all of it.

[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 5 points 2 years ago (5 children)

I don't pick my nose or fart in public. I don't lick a plate or use the finger to scoop what's on it if I'm in company. I also don't phase out and daydream half as much in public, an exception would be on public transport as everyone is kind of gazing at nothing so it's not obvious I'm in another dimension entirely.

As for other things, no, I don't have that kind of filter. I will occasionally stop and stare at that interesting pattern on a tile or leaf, follow closely with attention what the birds are doing, sniff if I sense an animal and see if I can find its trail (possums and rats usually) etc. I still build sandcastles at the beach and if the opportunity arises I'll scribble on cardboard coasters or paper napkins.

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I have an imp on my shoulder, lot of intrusive thoughts that are only funny to me. I pretend not to have them, and I'd rather just share whatever dog shit pops into my head. But I'm afraid I'd be committed.

[–] somethingsnappy@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Arm bands. I probably read or watched too much fantasy as a kid. For a while I braided leather arm bands and wore them. Mostly they were covered by whatever I was wearing. Then all the Brohs started getting arm band tattoos and it killed it for me. I recently said fuck it, and have a pounded metal arm band and I love it!

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