I doubt that this is a problem with just Gmail though...
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Could someone please ELI5 this? I get the overall concept but I don't really understand why doing this is convenient for them.
I had delayed messages, kicked back messages, and messages lost in the ether. I finally gave up and went to a small hosting company that seems ok so far.
Here's another fantastic article related to this. It's about someone who's had to give up on selfhosting.
It's actually far worse than the Igregious article makes it look.
I wish they'd gone into a bit more detail about the issues they had, where they hosted, how they tried to fix their ip reputation, which providers blocked them, etc.
I've experienced the same issues in the past, but didn't find any of the insurmountable.
Though admittedly mine is more 'small business' than 'self-hosted', so I can afford to buy a small IP block and run on dedicated hardware.
Email is a relict of a bygone era and needs to die. It's not designed for the modern Internet, and no patching like DKIM and DMARC can fix that.
Something in the veins of Mastodon. Still federated, but with validated peers and a better protocol. XMPP also was a front-runner for me, but unfortunately that one died over the last decade.