this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2025
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[–] danekrae@lemmy.world 134 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

Just put a traffic cone on it. It's apparently much worse for american children to see a model of the male anatomy, than metal detectors, armed teachers and drilling school shootings.

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 28 points 5 days ago

Puritan values at work

[–] ronl2k@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Just saw off the top part of it so it's no longer seen as a dildo. No need for a lockdown.

For real.

Grab a saw from the groundskeeper, hack it off as close to the floor as possible. Put a traffic cone on the stub.

10 minutes work tops.

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[–] frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io 64 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Dear God that is an expensive prank! The prices on those are insane.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 17 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

I like that you know the price of a 3-foot dildo.

Edit: I looked it up out of curiosity. It's 1,035 CAD. You wasn't kidding.

[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Heres a 2 footer (well, 60 cm, close) on aliexpress for $33.32 USD. (without shipping) https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256806204843239.html

So you can get 30 of these instead of a single 3 footer. Seems like a better deal to me.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 1 points 2 days ago

A better deal only if you have 30 holes.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

It don't got the girth though.

Common knowledge, really.

[–] notoftenthat@sh.itjust.works 34 points 5 days ago (2 children)

There's some great bargains on Facebook Marketplace

[–] spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works 28 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I don't... I don't think we want youths buying those used

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago

To a lesser extent, I don't think we want anyone else doing so, either.

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[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

"3rd hand dildo" does not sound appealing.

[–] IsoKiero@sopuli.xyz 2 points 4 days ago

But that's an awesome insult. Or a grunge band name if you lean that way.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 38 points 5 days ago

It’s silicone or whatever material? Slice it off at the bottom and put a “wet floor” cone over the remains so people don’t trip? No need to lock down the school over a funny prank.

[–] guynamedzero@piefed.zeromedia.vip 33 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Jesus christ that's really funny. Also God damn that school is pathetic if they didn't think of just cutting it and putting a cone over the remnants until they could properly remove it

[–] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 14 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Americans would rather shoot everyone who's seen it than risking anyone becoming gay

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[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 24 points 5 days ago (5 children)

lube is pretty easy to clean off with just water. i'd have used oil, so that whoever tried to remove it would have to get ready with a bucket of soapy water and then had to rub it up and down

[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Someone hasn't tried silicone lube before..

[–] StopSpazzing@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Silicone lube on a silicone dildo would melt it, last i heard.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago

it would indeed. oil wouldn't be the best for silicone long term either, but silicone lube on a silicone dildo would start melting it short term. though tbf, a yucky sticky dildo would also work as a park

[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

True, but a toy this size is likely TPR for cost reasons. Totally fine with silicone oils.

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[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 days ago

I'm calling it now. An episode of South Park that does the Uvalde shooting, but instead of shooting, it's a gigantic dildo being paraded through classrooms or something. Everything played straight, but no killing, just kids hiding terrified behind tables, and a selfless teacher sacrificing herself when faced with a giant silicone dong, etc.

[–] bryndos@fedia.io 14 points 5 days ago

No, the school had to admit to a massive cockup.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

I like that idea. It is not yet on the ever-growing list if forbidden pranks.

[–] manchicken 7 points 5 days ago

I love this so much.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 5 days ago

The cock is locked, so your education is blocked.

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (11 children)

Why does a 3 foot dildo even exist?

[–] sudo@lemmy.today 19 points 5 days ago

Ask your mom

[–] ynthrepic@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You'd be surprised the challenges some deeply inspired creators do for views.

I was linked on an R18 sub at one point. Someone else asked (for a friend of course) and I had a look (strictly for science of course). And yeah... Even in the front end. Maybe not 3 feet (that's strictly reserved for the back end) but... Wow. Surely it isn't worth it. Maybe it feels good? The science continues.

I came across a video a while ago... I really wish I hadnt. But, yeah, people are weird about putting things up their arse. I can only assume that later on in life, they'll be needing to wear nappies 24/7.

[–] lengau@midwest.social 6 points 5 days ago (2 children)
[–] notoftenthat@sh.itjust.works 8 points 5 days ago

Sweet summer child... bless your heart.

[–] CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Quite an expensive prank, that thing costs $1400...

[–] lengau@midwest.social 2 points 4 days ago

Shows their commitment to the bit.

[–] CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

It's probably XR Brands Moby the Giant Dick. It's quite expensive and basically sold as "decoration"... I think it the actual reason it exists is, so that they can call it "world's largest dildo".

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[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Damn right it was hard. lmao

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[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] elephantium@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

A tremendous cock up!

[–] IzzyJ@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

My principle threatened to hold back every single one of us if even one fid a senior prank. There was none. I transitioned since and kinda wanna find my principle on Facebook just to act like I pranked him

[–] Haaveilija@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago
[–] Mynameisallen@lemmy.zip 4 points 5 days ago

No active shooter or cooter

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