this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2024
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CHAPTER 1

THE BEGINNING

od made adam and eve same kind different font Gind od in the image and likeness of his own pfp

and said what is up my mammals go forth and vibe in this minecraft paradise i seeded

you may take any w, except from the tree of w's and i's for then you will have w's, but also L's

while fam was living their best life the op of opps woke up and chose violence

he slid into eves dms with that sneaky rizz and eve let him cook, though he had not the ingredients

he said why wont the TOP G let you take any w's she said nah thats not lore accurate

but the snake said babygirl he's gatekeeping all them dubs me personally i would not let that slide

POV: you realize you have free will πŸ‘οΈπŸ‘„πŸ‘οΈ

so she chose to secure a bag of w's and L's

and she ate and left crumbs and gave them to adam he saw his crush watching and said bet (with rizz)

when they took the L it altered their brain chemistry and suddenly they had the ick

but DIVINE G caught them in 4K and said bruh they really took the L and thought we wouldnt notice

dw fam i got you, we'll come in clutch the woman will have a chile who will solo the op of opps and say UNO REVERSE

thus began the divine dad lore

all 18 comments
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[–] TheDoozer@lemmy.world 71 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's funny that the only reason I understood modern speech of an ancient story is because I already knew the ancient story.

[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 25 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Robbsen1@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 2 years ago

Found the vegan!

I'm vegan btw

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 48 points 2 years ago

I am quite sure I have cancer meow.

[–] BloodSlut@lemmy.world 45 points 2 years ago

(with rizz)

[–] TragicNotCute@lemmy.world 34 points 2 years ago

and Eve let him cook, though he had not the ingredients.

Biggest take away here. You come across a snake (with rizz), and he doesn’t even have the ingredients? You don’t let him cook.

[–] Arkaelus@lemmy.world 32 points 2 years ago (1 children)

More, please. I like where this is going, would totes sub!

[–] Misconduct@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I don't remember if he's on TikTok or YouTube or whatever but a dude wrote a book called the gospel by gen z that's basically all just this. This might even be from that book lol

[–] Arkaelus@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Huh... is this how dogma started?

[–] CobblerScholar@lemmy.world 28 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yep it's begun, my mind wouldn't let me read more than halfway. I've got the old

[–] Xariphon@kbin.social 26 points 2 years ago

I think I felt my sanity dropping with each line.

[–] dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)

All of a sudden I’m angry. What’s that all about?

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 29 points 2 years ago

What is up my mammal?

~~amen~~ Respect

[–] bfg9k@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Could the bible be recreated entirely in emoji? πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”

[–] Allero@lemmy.today 21 points 2 years ago

πŸ§–πŸ§–β€β™€πŸŒ³πŸŒ³πŸŒ³πŸŽπŸπŸ€­πŸ€«πŸ€€πŸ˜²πŸ˜΅βš‘β˜„πŸŒπŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­

Can you not?