ADHD

In the last few years, my symptoms have improved in one area (task completion) but have severely worsened in another: short term memory. In fact, it's become so bad that I can't even remember what I just said a moment before 9 times out of 10, not just what others may have said.

How do you deal with remembering things like that?

Writing things down, especially in meetings, is really difficult for me because I end up spending more time typing and less time thinking about what people are saying.

As my workplace has a busy week all this week, I fear the inevitable flood of ableism my co-workers are gonna put me through. Too often they've scolded me for my ADHD symptoms like being out of my desk to walk around, staring off into space, not focusing, or fidgeting with stuff. And their responses have been terrible; they've ranged from stuff like barring my exit, telling me to "focus", threatening to cut my pay or fire me, etc. And since I have autism, I end up being so overwhelmed that I go into a crying fit or meltdown, and they always threaten to remove me because I'm "being disruptive". Perhaps I should quit at the rate things are going. Having to suffer through so much ableist stuff is getting to me at this rate...

#ADHD

I was chatting with a friend and tried to convey how crippling a really bad day (for me at least) can be. I needed tangible examples that really drive the point home. So I started making a list.

Sensory Overload: In a room filled with flashing lights, loud overlapping music, and strong scents, read a few book pages without stopping.

Physical Restlessness: Try to stay standing with elastic bands around your legs and arms, as they slowly pull away and begin to stretch.

Memory Maze: While navigating an obstacle course, remember a series of numbers or words. At the end, recall the series in the correct order.

Time Blindness Race: Complete a task without access to a clock or timer. While periodically being rushed or falsely warned of time running out

I realized that if I were to do any combination of these to a person all at once, it starts to fulfill the legal defenition of torture.

That's when it hit me.

It's so frustrating because it can be so intensely afwul, and you know that if they were to experience it for a day, they would be a crying mess by the end of it. Granted, these examples are extreme, and I'm sure someone out there could do these and be fine. But how long could they keep it up? It may be easier some days, but others it is truly debilitating.

This is probably old news for some, but I've only recently had to talk to people about it. It makes me so angry that they can just blow it off. Lucky for me my friend is very empathetic and understood what I was trying to get across.