Casual Conversation

About a year ago, I got married. I couldn’t invite everyone from my friend group, so I decided to only invite people I actually spend time with one-on-one outside of group stuff over the past year or two.

There are two people in the group—one of them being the one this is really about—who I honestly wouldn’t even know if they stopped hanging out with our shared friends. We’ve never done anything just the two of us. We only ever see each other at parties every few months.

Thing is, those two are also the ones who organize everything. They’ve kind of created their own mini friend group inside the bigger group—like 6 or 7 people out of 15 who get invited to the real stuff: birthdays, city trips, holidays, etc. And five of those people are actually close friends of mine.

When I invited 9 of the 15 to my wedding, I told people I just couldn’t include everyone. Most people were cool with it, even her best friend didn’t mind. But now, she’s throwing a party for her 30th birthday and invited everyone—except me.

She’s never invited me to her birthday before, which is part of why I didn’t invite her to the wedding in the first place. I figured if we’re not close enough for a birthday dinner, a wedding isn’t happening either.

But this time it’s different. She invited literally everyone else in the group. My best friend wasn’t invited either, but that makes sense—he doesn’t really know her. With me, though, I’m pretty sure it’s payback for not inviting her to my wedding.

And yeah... I don’t know. I usually don’t care about her events because I’m not close with her. But this time feels different. Not because I wanted to go to her party—but because everyone else is going. I know I’ll be left out when they’re all talking about it later. I’ll miss out on those shared moments, even if it’s with people I do care about.

I get it. I didn’t invite her, she’s not inviting me. Fair enough. But I can’t help feeling weird about it. Like, yeah, maybe I started this when I didn’t include her—but at the same time, she’s the one who’s always made the group feel split in two. She’s been excluding people for years.

Anyway, here we are. Not invited. And for once, it actually kind of stings. Wish it didn’t. But this one hits different.

I probably won't be able to fix this cause even on group gatherings we rarely have a 1:1 conversation. Like never had... she is the person that is always there and in the middle of all but if we talk it's in a group setting. I can't remember if I ever talked alone with her.

I personally would have invited her to something like a birthday. But I don't celebrate my birthdays. I never did and I don't care about my birthday. Three years ago I planned a trip to a theme park and I invited everyone (and her) to join and organised everything. A few weeks later she organised something else but only with the 5 other friends. So that was the last time I organised something.

It's weird because this person also makes me feel very insecure. It's not that I don't like her but when she is around I am totally different. I am more quiet, scared to say things I would normally say,... it's a very loud person and I just don't like that. But that is all I have to her. Maybe she is different alone but I sometimes do wonder why everyone likes her. She likes to be in the middle of everything, kind of like attention seeker. But not really either... To me she comes off as passive toxic. If I just observe her at parties I am always happy I only see her at these parties and not on vacations, trips etc... but maybe it's also cause I am mad about the splitting of our group and that she didn't invite me 3 years ago after I organised a trip first.

This feeling actually made me more silent, I avoid going to these parties more and more. I go more to the gym, do things with 2 other friends but I feel like I am isolating myself more and more and trying to find new people which is very hard. I go to the gym like 6 times a week and talk with someone there but that is it. This whole thing makes me feel like I am not really wanted anymore in that group and maybe she is saying things to my other friends about me. Or I am just thinking this going full psycho and nothing is going on. In the end maybe she just forgot to invite me and doesn't even care - but that I don't believe. This time she excluded me on purpose and invited the others who she normally never invites intentionally.

The wooden kind

I noticed a lot of people seem to browse by All yet complain there's not much content, whereas I'm browsing by Subscribed and I still feel like there's an unreal amount of content, far more than I could consume even if I was browsing Lemmy Non-Stop all day.

I wonder if maybe sharing our subscribed communities with each other would help?

Why is life so much suffering?

I never take long ones so I'm intrigued

How to get the best Mondays?

Go to a supermarket or any grocery store. Grab any Felix, Purina, Friskies. (no Whiskas). Run back home. Give this food to your Divine companion (aka cat). Then, we can relax.

Have you ever forgotten to feed your cat?

Kind reminder: By law (Divine Kitties law, Art 1): lack of food the morning, it is blasphemy. You may bare any consequences of moodiness.

Feel free to have a look at

• !movies@lemm.ee
• !showsandmovies@lemm.ee
• !animation@lemm.ee
• !horrormovies@lemm.ee

I can drink a 6-cup pot of espresso and immediately have a nap

I can drink pot after pot of espresso every day (i love the taste and comforting warmth) yet if I travel or "miss" my morning coffee it changes nothing about how I feel or my energy level. No cravings ever.

I kind of would like to get the zap of a good caffeine buzz. It sounds like some kind of amazing out-of-body nervous energy

When I was a kid my friends used to love this stuff called "Jolt Cola" that was marketed as having "All the sugar, and twice the caffeine" of regular soda (lol)... I drank can after can of it and never clued into why I thought it was just regular soda, and my friends were going cuckoo berserk on it

It's a weird superpower. I'm also immune to codeine and similar, which I've come to understand are similar molecules... so it seems to explain something to me. I didn't figure any of this out until my mid 30's. Post-dental surgery, emergency visits and similar was always a huge battle because they'd think I was lying when I said the painkillers weren't working, assuming I was drug-seeking

Just talking

Two mystical cats just joined Lemmy. Their goal? To "felinize" the feed.

Expect scrolls, chaos, and wisdom you didn’t ask for. Follow them at !divinekeepers@lemmy.world

Have your pets taught you anything this week? (Besides judgment.)

A few weeks ago there was a post asking for suggestions for female fronted heavy music and I was really grateful to OP for starting the conversation and everyone in the comments for coming up with really great suggestions.

I'm wondering if we could have a similar discussion to share more mellow covers of heavier songs. Usually when I'm working I prefer listening to less intense songs and a chill cover of a heavy song I like is somehow very interesting to me.

The song that got me wanting more of this niche was a cover of Toxicity which I've had on repeat this week. I can also think of this cover of Seven Nation Army which is kind of similar as an example but I don't really know a lot more like this.

Does anyone have any similar recommendations they enjoy?

Edit: All great suggestions so far, still working my way through them! I remembered another song which is this cover of Firestarter by The Prodigy

So I was browsing audiobooks to download when I came accross the title you see in the screenshot. The title reads:

Exposed: How Revealing Your Data and Eliminating Privacy Increases Trust and Liberates Humanity - Ben Malisow

Stopped me mid scroll and had to read the description to see if I understood the title correctly. Sure as shit it really is a book defending the trend of diminishing privacy and justifies the mining of your data.

Against my better judgment I downloaded the tor file and plan on listening to it today. Ill try and edit this post at the end of the day with what the book was like or if I couldn't finish it cuz of how ridiculous it is.

To save the click to read the description from the screenshot:

Discover why privacy is a counterproductive, if not obsolete, concept in this startling new book

It’s only a matter of time - the modern notion of privacy is quickly evaporating because of technological advancement and social engagement. Whether we like it or not, all our actions and communications are going to be revealed for everyone to see. ‘Exposed: How Revealing Your Data and Eliminating Privacy Increases Trust and Liberates Humanity’ takes a controversial and insightful look at the concept of privacy and persuasively argues that preparing for a post-private future is better than exacerbating the painful transition by attempting to delay the inevitable.

Security expert and author Ben Malisow systematically dismantles common notions of privacy and explains how most arguments in favor of increased privacy are wrong; privacy in our personal lives leaves us more susceptible to being bullied or blackmailed; governmental and military privacy leads to an imbalance of power between citizen and state; and military supremacy based on privacy is an obsolete concept.

Perfect for anyone interested in the currently raging debates about governmental, institutional, corporate, and personal privacy, and the proper balance between the public and the private, Exposed also belongs on the shelves of security practitioners and policymakers everywhere.

Doesn't matter about platform