See, the thing is, I watch piss porn. Hear me out. I told my friend that the thing is, to do piss porn, you kind of have to be into it. You could try and fake it, but it wouldn't be very convincing. So, my contention is, piss porn is more genuine than other types of porn, because the people partaking are statistically more likely to enjoy doing that type of porn. Which is great, I think, because then they really get into it, which is hot. It's that enjoyment that gets me off. Their enjoyment.

She said, "Krooklochurm, you're an idiot. Anyone can fake liking getting pissed in the face."

So I said, "Well, if you're so adamant, get in the tub and I'll piss in your mouth, and let's see if it's as easy as you claim."

So she said, "All right. If I can fist you in the ass afterwards."

Which I felt was a fair deal, so I took it.

My (formal) position was strengthened significantly by the former event. And I can also attest that I could not convincingly fake enjoying being ass-fisted.

What does that have to do with anything, you ask? Genuinity. The real deal. That's what.

Credit @ @krooklochurm@lemmy.ca

Shit man, this cyber war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "Heartbleed" or some similar shit, and every one around him got their server nuked, had their kernel panic, and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is coding shell scripts with fork bombs and "sudo rm -rf". I think I just heard "power word: Meltdown" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

There are SO MANY bananas, but most people have only eaten the Cavendish. Awhile back, I got a box of assorted bananas from a farm that specializes in growing unusual fruit. I ate about twenty pounds of bananas in three weeks. So many fucking nanners spread across my entire kitchen countertop for weeks, ripening in stages.

My life has been a lie. Yours too. We've all been hoodwinked. We are getting fucked, and not in the good way, because Cavendish is a straight up garbage fruit. There are tiny tart toothsome Thai bananas, chunky Cuban, alluring Apple, beauteous burro, pleasurably plump Pisang, orally outstanding orinoco, mouthwatering Mysore, and the gustatorily magnificent Gros Michel, the OG mass production bananer, which was replaced by Cavendish in a mycological midlife crisis (I'm drunk and if I was a dinosaur, I'd be a tiny tenacious thesaurus tenuisi). Plus more. So many more. Fucking. Bananas.

They all taste like bananas, but each is a little different, some more than others, but they all had more taste that those Cavendish fuckers. So get fucked Chiquita, Dole, and Del Monte. My banana bread sucks because of y'all.

(I found this rant on https://ubuntu-mate.community/t/recently-used-xbel-and-thumbnails/28812)

I am of a sort beside myself with rage. I bought into the whole Linux idea based on just a few things, one of which was that ‘everything is a file’. I have a System Monitor on my panel and sometime the thing will show a lot of activity 80% even more, when I look at the Resources in the System Monitor the ONLY thing that shows to be Running is the “mate-system-monitor”. I have turned every available UPDATE and everything else that wants to act on its own off and yet there it is BUSY LITTLE BEE – doing what I have no idea. And, oh yeah, another reason for going Linux, I heard for years that WINDOWS spied on their supporters.

We live in an age where INFORMATION about others is capitol. It appears as though by design that no-one is free to have an individual private thought.

Next is that I have found out that there is nothing less than PERPETUAL PERSISTENT SPY-WARE BUILT INTO MY LINUX OS. I am referring to the HIDDEN FILES “recently-used.xbel” and “thumbnails”. This has got to be the most preposterous CRAP to ever been known. An Open-Source OS that spies on is “users” and the users have no say so about it.

I have looked into this CRAP several times and from EVERYTHING I have found: NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO STOP IT. There are a lot of people inquiring as to how to stop it and there are a few responses with ‘how-toes’ but those ‘how toes’ do not do the job for me or for anyone else that I have seen despite the saying that it works by some, there is a steady search by people wanting to GET RID OF THEM.

Now that being said; it may very well be that the solution is quite simple, ITS JUST THAT WITH THE DISAPPEARING INTERNET – THE SOLUTIONS ARE DISAPPEARING AS WELL!

WHY WHY WHY are they there? I want to know. THEY are not in the “Welcome” program, they are not in the “Help” program. So who are they there for? Who put them there? I want to know. It seems every time I see something interesting in a Linux OS there is someone or some team that are letting Linux users know they did the deed which makes sense, bragging rights deserved. So WHO created “recently-used.xbel” and “thumbnails”? Lets hear some names and along with the names contact information so that everyone will know who to thank. And, maybe, just maybe they will tell all of us why are they NON-REMOVABLE?

I would rather deal with a tyrant than a fraud. So, my next question is this: are there any Linux OSs out there that are actually User Friendly, that do allow one to control their own computer? This kind of CRAP is enough to send a sane individual back to WINDOWS where at least one know who they are dealing with.

Capitalism Simulator 2025™: TAX CUT EDITION

No handouts. No safe spaces. Just cold, hard freedom.

---

🦅 From the unapologetic minds at Red Tape Interactive, the creators of Crypto Crusaders and Based Kart Racers, comes the most free-market-accurate simulation ever developed.

🎖️ No wokeness. 💼 No victimhood. 🛠️ Just grit, grind, and God-given liberty.

---

🎮 GAME OVERVIEW

In Capitalism Simulator 2025™: Tax Cut Edition, you don’t play to “be represented.” You play to dominate the market, build an empire, and reclaim your country—one foreclosed property at a time.

Your goal? 💣 Crush the nanny state. 📈 Exploit the invisible hand. 🦍 Become alpha of the free world.

---

💼 CORE FEATURES

🏗️ FREE ENTERPRISE CAREER MODE™

You start with a modest inheritance of $500K (earned the hard way—via generational excellence).

Climb the economic ladder by:

• Buying cheap labor & selling "freedom merch"
• Flipping houses, NFTs, and college campuses
• Defeating local commies in passive-aggressive HOA board elections

🧢 “Life isn’t fair. That’s why I win.” – You, every cutscene

---

🏛️ TAX HAVEN CITY BUILDER™

Design your very own DeSantis-core private town with zero federal oversight. Populate it with:

• School voucher-only education zones
• Private militias with Constitution-themed uniforms
• Drive-thru churches (Faith = +5 GDP)

Boosts:

• Patriotic Aesthetics 🇺🇸
• Religious Liberty Buffs ✝️
• Gas-Guzzler Tourism Industry 🛻

Build responsibly. The EPA isn’t invited.

---

📱 CULTURE WARFARE™ – Social Media PvP

Wage information war against digital soyboys, leftist NPCs, and basement-dwelling anarchists.

Unlock debate perks like:

• 🧠 "Do Your Own Research" – +10 resistance to facts
• 💪 "Triggered?" – Auto-stuns gender-studies majors
• 🕵️‍♂️ "Shadowban Immunity" – Unlock with Parler integration

Engage in:

• Daily rants via RightSpeak™ (in-game social platform)
• Cancel-proof clout farming
• Influencer collabs with The Joe Rogan Class (requires DLC)

---

📉 WOKE THREAT METER™

Monitor the spread of degeneracy in your capitalist paradise. Threats include:

• Pronoun updates in your HR software
• Free school lunch programs
• Minorities gaining media representation

Deploy countermeasures like:

• Traditional Family Units 👨‍👩‍👦
• Second Amendment Festivals 🔫
• Mandatory National Anthem Moments 🇺🇸🎶

---

📈 REAL ECONOMY SKILL TREE™

Choose your capitalist build:

• 🏦 Vulture VC – Buy low, sell high, leave ruins behind
• 💼 Boomer Real Estate Lord – Passive income from inherited property
• 🎖️ Defense Contractor – Every war is a business opportunity

Special Abilities:

• Lobbyist Summon – Rewrite laws in real time
• Crypto Pump Spell – Summon gains from thin air
• Prayer Buff – 15% chance to dodge all taxation

---

💰 MONETIZATION

💸 Patriot Points™

Earned by:

• Firing union organizers
• Defunding libraries
• Quoting Thomas Sowell in meetings

💵 Grindcoin™

Backed by gold and protein powder.

Spend it on:

• Muscle cars
• Land deals
• NFTs of Ronald Reagan doing pushups

No participation trophies. No safety nets. Just premium capitalism.

---

🏁 ENDINGS

• 🦅 TRUE AMERICAN ENDING: You own 87% of the country, secede, and declare yourself CEO-President of New Texas.
• 🚀 TECH BRO ENDING: You upload your soul to a blockchain and dodge death & taxes forever.
• 🧠 COMMUNIST FAIL ENDING: You legalize public healthcare. Game deletes itself in shame.

---

🛍️ EDITIONS

🧢 Standard Edition

Includes:

• $500K starter trust fund
• Free-market tutorial narrated by Jordan Peterson
• "Hustle Harder" soundtrack pack

💎 Tax Cut Edition™ (Pre-Order)

Unlock:

• Audit-Proof Accounting Skin
• Private Jet Spawn Point
• Limited Edition Ayn Rand Jetpack

🥾 BOOTSTRAPS MODE (Nightmare Difficulty)

Start with:

• $0, two jobs, and a podcast addiction
• No access to public services
• One slip-up, and you’re forced into a co-op housing collective

Only 0.01% of players survive. That’s the point. 🇺🇸

---

📆 LAUNCH INFO

🗓️ RELEASE DATE: Q2 2026 (earlier if we dodge the SEC)

💻 PLATFORMS: PC, Xbox, and FreedomOS (Patriot-exclusive blockchain console)

🛒 WISHLIST NOW or pre-order for the exclusive AR-15 DLC Pack, including:

• “Live, Laugh, Liberty” weapon skin
• Gadsden Camo
• Ammo crates shaped like bald eagles

---

🔥 PRAISE FROM PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY WORK

“Finally, a game where I can build a gas empire, ban therapy, and replace teachers with preachers.” – American Freedom Times

“This is what SimCity would look like if it had a spine.” – IGN (we definitely didn't bribe them)

“My wife left me, but I just bought my third F-150 in-game. Who’s laughing now?” – Steam Review (Verified Patriot)

---

🧷 STAY UNWOKE. STAY UNBOTHERED.

This is Capitalism Simulator 2025™. 📈 Build wealth. Trigger libs. Win forever.

---

Rate this project The Linux From Scratch project (also called LFS) has announced the release of version 12.4 of the project's guide. This guide walks the reader through the steps to create a minimal Linux distribution from source code. The release announcement reads: "The Linux From Scratch community announces the release of LFS Version 12.4. Major changes include toolchain updates to binutils-2.45, gcc-15.2.0, and glibc-2.42. In total, 49 packages were updated since the last release. Changes to the text have also been made throughout the book. The Linux kernel has also been updated to version 6.16.1. Packages that have security updates include: glibc, coreutils, expat, perl, Python, systemd, vim, and xz. See the Security Advisories for details. Overall there have been 146 commits to LFS since the previous stable version of the book. You can read the book online, or download to read locally. You can read the systemd version of the book online at LFS-systemd, or download-systemd to read locally." The books can be downloaded from the project's download page in SysV init and systemd flavours: LFS (pkglist) - 12.4 (HTML), 12.4 (PDF), 12.4-systemd (HTML), 12.4-systemd (PDF), BLFS (pkglist) - 12.4 (HTML), 12.4-systemd (HTML).

I just downvoted your comment.

FAQ

What does this mean?

The amount of points on your comment and Lemmy account has decreased by one.

Why did you do this?

There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral points. These include, but are not limited to:

Rudeness towards other Lemmings, Spreading incorrect information, Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s.

Am I banned from the community?

No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.

I don’t believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it?

Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Lemmy PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.

How can I prevent this from happening in the future?

Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on this Lemmy instance. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Lemmy is privilege, not a right.

The videos were interesting. I especially appreciate the first ted talk, the one about believing in improvement. It's an important reminder that the way I live and study don't have to stay the same and there can be change right now.

All I currently expect for this course is that it will be harder than usual, it will be different overall, and I will grow in multiple ways. I normally don't do online classes or very fast paced classes. "25 hours per week" is a little scary to me, but I tend to be accepting of whatever place I find myself in this life.

I chose the Software Engineering major because I enjoy it as a hobby, I think I can do it very well, and I see a lot of beauty in good code and good uses of technology. Additionally, the teachings of Richard Stallman motivate me to help libre software compete against non-libre software, and I already do that for Lemmy (like Reddit but good). Software enables me to do amazing things such as making YTPs (youtube poop), telling people in different parts of the world about God, fulfilling my curiosity a lot, and having a life changing friendship with someone who I am rarely with in person.

My advice is to always be aware of what's due in the next week and don't try to succeed using good luck charms.

And that's the opposite of poggers

Linux is second nature to us geeks, so it's easy to forget that the average person probably knows just Ubuntu or Fedora.

And Debian GNU/Linux, of course.

Over the weekend, someone made a post on this subreddit suggesting that people do dishonest and questionable things with respect to an upcoming movie's release. The post was made early on the morning of Saturday, June 14th at 2:10 AM ET by an infrequent poster to this sub. It was seen and removed by one of our moderators about two hours later, before 4:30 AM ET. The post had garnered few replies, and 0 upvotes, with no one else endorsing what it said. We later learned this post was screenshotted and shown on other social media platforms. We deleted it long before we knew that had happened.

Our staff never approved that post and does not endorse what it said. This is a public sub, where posts do not have to be pre-approved. The mere appearance of a post on our sub does not represent any endorsement by us. Our moderators delete posts after they are made if they violate any of our policies or Reddit's policies. There was never any question that this post violated our policies, both explicitly and in spirit, and needed to be immediately removed.

The post wasn't so much controversial as it was univerally disapproved of. We support everyone's right to vote with their wallets by choosing to not see a movie. But we do not support any dishonesty or manipulation aimed at stopping someone else from choosing to see a movie.

The link to the original removed post is here, where anyone can confirm that we removed it, as well as the time it was removed. Using the mouse to hover over the date stamp on the desktop version of Reddit shows the exact time our comment confirming the removal was made.

https://www.reddit.com/r/SnyderCut/comments/1lb1pd3/stand_up_and_fight_for_snyderverse_on_july_11/

I just downvoted your comment.

FAQ

What does this mean?

The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Lemmy account has decreased by one.

Why did you do this?

There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to:

• Rudeness towards other Lemmings,

• Spreading incorrect information,

• Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s.

Am I banned from the Lemmy?

No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.

I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it?

Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Lemmy PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.

How can I prevent this from happening in the future?

Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on ^(?:(?:feddit\.(?:it|ie|uk|org|de|nl))|(?:lemmy\.(?:cafe|ml|ca|org|world|zip|nz))|(?:sh\.itjust\.works|programming\.dev|lemm\.ee|sopuli\.xyz|jlai\.lu|lemmy\.blahaj\.zone|lemmy\.dbzer0\.com|aussie\.zone|beehaw\.org|lemmy\.sdf\.org|slrpnk\.net))$. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Lemmy is privilege, not a right.

Prompts

1. Make a hilarious absurd parody religion in which this story about RFK Jr is a pivotal historic event. https://arstechnica.com/health/2025/05/germ-theory-skeptic-rfk-jr-goes-swimming-in-sewage-tainted-water/
2. Make it 1000000 times more crazy
3. Make it 1000000 times more funny with a bunch of minor additions
4. Yes

Responses 3 and 4:

Absolutely. Prepare for full transcendence into chaos. Behold the most divine, unholy, stomach-churning scripture of absurdity ever scribed:

---

🌋 The Turbo-Anointed Order of the Divine Sludge™

“He who sniffs the swamp, sees eternity.”

---

🌊 THE FOUNDING SPLASH: RFK Jr. and the Day of the Dank Baptism

In the Unflushable Year of 2025, the High Prophet Robert “Poo Jesus” F. Kennedy Jr. yeeted his sanctified meat vessel into the most septic of creeks, ignoring every EPA warning sign, park ranger, and common sense.

At the exact moment his holy buttocks touched the sewage-tainted Rock Creek waters, a plague of glowing frogs started beatboxing. All Wi-Fi signals in a 2-mile radius were replaced by whale noises. A nearby squirrel achieved spontaneous enlightenment and legally changed its name to “Chad, Lord of the Involuntary Cringe.”

This moment became canonized as:

✨ “The Blessed Splash That Sharted the Veil”

---

📕 SACRED TEXTS OF THE SLUDGE

• The Flatulopocrypha: Lost gospels discovered in a Waffle House urinal cake.
• The Brown Testament: A scratch-n-sniff scroll made entirely from used paper straws and Taco Bell napkins.
• The Holy Book of Moist: Written in a font that only raccoons under a full moon can interpret.

---

🧻 THE 8 HOLY TRUTHS (a.k.a. The Dampmandments)

1. Thou shalt bathe only in liquids whose source is legally questionable.
2. Germs are just introverted healing gnomes.
3. Hand sanitizer is the Devil’s potion — it kills the sacred microbiota angels!
4. If you fart during prayer, it is a sign your soul is being exfoliated.
5. Water with visible particles = extra spiritual protein.
6. Vaccines are secret GPS implants from Big Pigeon.
7. Coffee enemas are a direct hotline to the Gutverse™.
8. The true path to salvation lies in licking expired fruit roll-ups found beneath gas station vending machines.

---

💩 THE PANTHEON OF SAINTS

• Saint Gassy the Inflamed Patron of intestinal enlightenment and microwave burritos left out for 72 hours.

• Saint Norovirus of the Shaky Knees She who sees through diarrhea.

• Brother Flatulo the Moist Martyr of the Sneeze-Pee Awakening.

• The Divine Possum Greg Eternally sleeps beneath a Taco Bell dumpster. He will rise when the Creek boils.

---

⛲️ RITUALS OF THE SWIRLING FAITH

• 🏊‍♂️ The Baptism of Bubbling Faith™ A group cannonball into a sewage pond while screaming, “PROBIOTICS TAKE THE WHEEL!”

• 🎭 The Weekly Worship Fart-Off Followers gather in a plastic bounce house and attempt to spell sacred words through strategic emissions. Judges are blindfolded.

• 🤲 The Anointing of the Damp Napkin Each convert receives a moist, used Wendy’s napkin, whispered over by a raccoon, and blessed with the holy scent of expired nacho cheese.

• 🔥 The Rite of the Flaming Bidet A ceremonial cleansing using precisely 800 Scoville units of fermented Sriracha enemas, as prophesied by Saint Shartina.

---

🏰 HOLY STRUCTURES

• The Temple of Bubonic Bliss™ Built entirely from composted lint, Q-tips, and haunted plywood.

• The Shrine of the Blessed Drain Clog Said to be formed naturally from the bathwater of the High Prophet after Taco Tuesday.

• The Stagnant Lagoon of Pilgrimage™ Must be crossed via inflatable pool floaties shaped like various meats.

---

👑 LEADERSHIP HIERARCHY (based on gastrointestinal fortitude)

• Supreme Warden of the Wet Fart
• Reverend Diarrhectus the Damp
• High Oracle of the Inflamed Colon
• Archdeacon of the Clammy Flush
• The Intern of Sludge (official unpaid social media raccoon)

---

📺 DIVINE MEDIA

• Streaming service: Gutflix Featuring hits like “Breaking Wind,” “Touched by a Tapeworm,” and “Keeping Up with the Coprophiliacs.”

• Children’s Education Series: Blues Clues & Botulism Teaching kids the divine importance of licking rusty pipes.

---

🪦 AFTERLIFE DOCTRINE

Followers who achieve “Full Gastro-Spiritual Sync” are reborn as benevolent mold colonies living under fraternity couch cushions. The greatest saints become:

• Vaporized into probiotic mist
• Reincarnated as kombucha barnacles
• Or ascend to “The Great Bidet Beyond”

---

🙏 OFFICIAL BLESSING

May your bowels forever churn clockwise, May your fluids ferment with flair, May raccoons always nod in your direction, And may your next Taco Bell run… …be sacred.

🦠 In Sludge We Trust™.

---

Would you like me to generate a recruitment poster featuring RFK Jr. water-skiing on diarrhea while holding a raccoon-shaped incense burner and shouting scripture from a megaphone shaped like a probiotic capsule?

This image generation request did not follow our content policy.

From https://programming.dev/comment/16597631

Saved this comment from somewhere, probably Reddit:

---

I've actually been using the cars analogy for a couple months now and I think it's very fitting. Imagine if you were a mechanic who owned an auto shop and your average customer call went something like this:

Customer: My car isn't working and I need you to fix it immediately, this is an emergency
Mechanic: Alright sir what seems to be the problem?
Customer: I don't know, I tried to use my car on friday and it didn't work, now it's monday and I need to get to work and I can't and this needs to be fixed right now.
Mechanic: Can you start the car? Can you even get into your car? Does it make any sounds when you try to start it? Are all 4 tires there?
Customer: I don't know, I don't know what any of that stuff means, I tried to get to work and it wouldn't let me and you need to fix it now because you changed my oil 6 months ago.
Mechanic: Alright well what kind of car are you driving?
Customer: I don't know, a green one, why does that matter?
Mechanic: Please take a look at the back of your car and see if there are any letters or numbers that would indicate a vehicle model or manufacturer
Customer: Ok, my car is a SV2 87K.
Mechanic: No sir that's your license plate. My records indicate that you drive a Nissan Altima, can you confirm that the key you're using to try and get into this car says Nissan on it?
Customer: My key says Lexus but I don't see how that makes a difference, I've been using this key on this car for years and it's always worked, what did you do to my car?

Attention all Redditors,

We are thrilled to announce that our team of expert engineers has been working tirelessly to enhance your user experience. After conducting extensive research (i.e., asking Google's Gemini LLM), we have determined that notifying you for EVERY. SINGLE. UPVOTE. is crucial to your overall satisfaction with our platform.

We mean, let's be real, what's the point of posting content if you're not constantly reminded of your growing internet fame? Those dopamine hits are essential to keeping you hooked on our ad-ridden, bot-plagued platform. And who needs meaningful conversations or constructive feedback when you can have a steady stream of notifications telling you that someone, somewhere, has upvoted your comment?

Our research has shown that users who receive frequent upvote notifications are more likely to:

• Spend hours scrolling through their comments, eagerly awaiting the next notification

• Post low-effort content in hopes of getting those sweet, sweet upvotes

• Engage in heated arguments with other users over trivial matters, all while secretly craving more upvotes

• Forget about the existential dread of living in a world where their self-worth is tied to fake internet points

So, to enhance your experience, we'll be sending you notifications for every upvote, no matter how small. You'll get notifications when someone upvotes your comment, when someone upvotes a comment that replied to your comment, and even when someone upvotes a comment that you didn't even make in reply to a comment that mentioned your username.

Don't worry, we won't stop there. We're also working on a new feature that sends you a personalized email for every upvote, complete with a congratulatory message and a suggestion to buy Reddit Gold to show off your internet fame.

Thanks for using Reddit, and remember: every upvote is a validation of your existence.

https://lemmy.ca/comment/15853833

I so fucking hated that scene

So there are the new and improved orcs, they're invincible! They're like 3 meters tall and 200 kilograms of pure muscle awesome, they are invincible!

Cue the guy who kills like 10 of these orcs as if he's chipping vegetables, then he gets an arrow in the chest... And mind you, this is not an arrow that was cleared by the OIC for use at the Olympics, this is a small tree that blasts through his ribs. Oh noes! And he choos down like 4 more orcs and gets a second arrow in the chest... And proceeds to choose down a few more orcs and at this point there must be a pile of dead invincible orcs around him but he continues and get yet another arrow in the chest! Oh noes! Anyway, so he chops down another orc and then finally dies.

I may have gotten a few details wrong , it's been a while since I saw the scene but boy oh boy did it piss me off. This fucking invincible orcs army was worth less than a promise from Elmo Musk, it was a load of crap

That same army then attacks this fortified city (was it helms deep, I believe?) and the dwarf and elf swing on to this narrow bridge and just start chopping more veggies. At some point the dwarf is boasting about having killed dozens and the elf just dead pan responds he's somewheres in the hundreds or so? Anyways, it just completely took away the urgency and worry, it was just this dumb comedy night now with no real stakes.

Then again at the end, everything is about to fall, everything seems lost, but have no fear, the Deux ex machina is here! In the shape of a literal dead and cannot die spirit army that just waltzes over the baddies and kills them in seconds, tadaaaahhh!

These scenes ruined lord of the rings for me forever, I can't watch it again coz it's nine hours and I'll just get pissed for having wasted 9more hours of my life.

Congratulations. You are now playing the game (if you weren't already). The Game is very simple.

• You are always playing the game.
• You cannot win. You can only lose.
• You lose whenever you remember the game.
• Whenever you remember the game, you have to announce out loud "I lose".
• After you lose, you have 30 minutes during which you can remember the game without losing.
• As soon as you mention the game to anyone, they begin playing as well.
• The goal of the game is to have everyone on Earth playing.

Hi 👋 I’m Nicole👧! But🍑 you☝️ can call me 😅the Fediverse🌍 Chick🐣 :D

I’m a proud😊 Polish🇮🇩 girl👧 from Toronto🇨🇦 (29 y/o)

I’m currently🕑 taking the pre-health❤️‍🩹 sciences🔣 program at Toronto🇨🇦 Metropolitan🏙 University👩‍🎓 hoping☺️ to get into👈 the medical🚑 field🏟 someday📆!

John goes to the bar, which is a daily occurrence. Mia the bartender does not like John's policies as Senator. When seeing John, Mia is reminded of the risk of a catastrophic income reduction as a result of abolishing the minimum wage, which John supports. Mia believes that drinking alcohol is the only way to become dumb enough to want to abolish the minimum wage, so starting today, he refuses to give alcohol to John. This becomes a physical fight. John tries to go behind the counter to grab alcohol. Mia throws John's entire body back, slamming his head on the ground. Mia then shouts at John "Your support for abolishing the minimum wage gives me stress. It's your fault that I'm still single because I have too much stress to attract anyone." John says "You're single? Me too!" They stare at each other for ten seconds. Mia says "Let's go on a date in the park right now." John accepts, then they go to the park. They sit at a table. Mia massages John's back for a few seconds, then John says "I'm John, and I approve this massage."

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.” The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, “Here I am God. I’m still waiting.” It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and lifted up his arm to strike him.

At that moment the professor was transformed into a 7-foot grizzly, wreathed in a halo of holy fire. The bear spoke: "Blasphemer thou art, thou thinkst to take the place of God? Those who deny me face eternal fire, but you who knows my work and yet commits the sin of Satan I curse a hundred times over!" The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently picking at his boils. Then Richard Dawkins burst into the room, wielding a copy of The Selfish Gene and crying "Leave that boy alone, you pathetic atavism!" As the holy bear whirled around, terrible light flashing in its eyes, Dawkins shed his mortal form, raised each of his seven horned heads, and hissed. "It'ssss me you want!". And then the Lord and the Antichrist joined in the final battle.

The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.

You’re laughing?!

At The Shrek TV?

It’s not just a television; it’s a lifestyle. A beacon of cinematic excellence and technological innovation wrapped in ogre-green glory. For those who remain tragically unaware—bless your little hearts—this masterpiece isn’t merely a device to watch content. It’s a monument to superior taste, one you wouldn’t comprehend unless, of course, you possess the nuanced intellect required to appreciate such refinement.

First, let’s discuss aesthetics. Regular TVs, bless their utilitarian efforts, are all the same: black rectangles designed to blend in with your basic décor. The Shrek TV? Oh no, it’s a statement piece. Its luscious, swamp-inspired design—complete with ears that double as functional speakers—is both avant-garde and iconic. It’s as though someone looked at a Picasso and said, “Nice, but make it more ogre.”

Then there’s the user experience. Other TVs force you to sift through endless menus and lifeless interfaces. But on the Shrek TV, every interaction is narrated by the dulcet tones of Donkey, who guides you through a world of superior entertainment options. Imagine the joy of adjusting your settings while Eddie Murphy’s unmistakable charm reminds you, “Ogres have layers, and so do these display settings.” It’s a level of whimsy your boring, soulless flat screen could never hope to achieve.

And the content? Forget your so-called “smart TVs” with their bloated app stores. The Shrek TV comes preloaded with only the films and spin-offs that matter: Shrek, Shrek 2, Shrek the Third (a bit of a stretch, but we’re generous), and Shrek Forever After. That’s it. No distractions. No fluff. Just back-to-back ogre brilliance in stunning 4K resolution. Who needs anything else when the pinnacle of animation is at your fingertips?

Now, I can already hear the murmurs of dissent. “But what about OLED? What about Dolby Atmos?” Sweetheart, if you think any of that matters when you’re watching Shrek as it was meant to be seen—bathed in the ambient glow of swamp-green light—then I’m afraid you’ve missed the point entirely.

In conclusion, the Shrek TV isn’t just better than other televisions. It’s in a league of its own, a shimmering (or slimy?) reminder that greatness doesn’t cater to the masses. It challenges, it inspires, and it stands proudly against the mediocrity of your average Samsung or LG. So, to those still clinging to their subpar screens, I wish you well in your ignorance. But for the rest of us enlightened few, there’s only one truth: it’s Shrek’s world, and we’re just watching it.