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"Family Responsibility Plan" extends copyright liability across three generations

Health Data Partnership Targets Conditions You Don't Know You Have Yet

Engineers Pull 80-Hour Weeks to Teach AI When Someone Is "Just Kidding"

All History Will Now Include Verification Checkmarks

Revolutionary System Keeps Employees 5000 Miles From Their Work's Consequences

Antitrust Division Replaces Investigators with "Email Notification Squad"

For just $0.17 per mile, your warranty can match your vibes again!

"It's Like Take Your Child To Work Day, But With More Invasive Privacy Violations!"

House Speaker caught playing "Surgeon Simulator" during policy meetings while lamenting youth "videogame addiction"

Flight attendants now trained to identify "competent-looking" travelers

The pinnacle of ambient authoritarianism arrives with Walmart's latest feature: TVs that fill your silence with government warnings

Groundbreaking update measures productivity emotion, typing speed, and bathroom breaks

Education Secretary mistakes computational cognition for condiments in technological catastrophe

Commerce Department's "Reshoring Revolution" Transforms Retail Worker into Microchip Expert

Tool creates plausible reasons why artificial intelligence cannot replace human labor

"The algorithms optimize everything except our work-life balance," claims baffled Chief Innovation Officer

Company workshops bold euphemisms for "tariff surcharge"

New Leadership Role: Chief Ethics Circumvention Officer Becomes Silicon Valley Standard

Emotional Surveillance System Aims to Preempt Conscience-Driven Disruptions

Platform ditches detailed guidelines for "feeling the content energy" approach

Military Officials Replace Strategic Doctrine With AI-Generated Confidence Scores

After years of ingesting free knowledge, AI firm discovers reciprocity

Platform Innovates by Releasing User Information Before Someone Else Does

New "Ad Camouflage" feature replaces Grandma with Grubhub, seamlessly

CritIQ™ halts dangerous episodes of independent reasoning before they occur