The Monkey's Paw

750 readers

2 users here now

Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

late_night@sopuli.xyz

ToothpasteSundae@lemmy.dbzer0.com

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4

I wish I had one long curvy tooth (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 2 days ago by swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

2 comments fedilink

They didn't need to make separations with me

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28

I wish people's butts got bigger when they had to poop (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 3 days ago by swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

7 comments fedilink

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-2

I wish the people at incels.is got girlfriends. (moist.catsweat.com)

submitted 6 days ago by Web_Rand@moist.catsweat.com to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

3 comments fedilink

title

4

25

I wish to reject the weakness of my flesh and embrace the strength and certainty of steel. (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 weeks ago by early_riser@lemmy.world to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

16 comments fedilink

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I wish for a little sister (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 3 weeks ago by late_night@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

5 comments fedilink

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3

I wish voters chose between Democrat and third party from now on. (moist.catsweat.com)

submitted 1 month ago by Web_Rand@moist.catsweat.com to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

3 comments fedilink

title

7

19

I wish the whole world spoke and wrote the same language. (programming.dev)

submitted 3 months ago by zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

19 comments fedilink

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19

I wish I could freely play any game that ever would be released at any time of my choosing. (self.monkeyspaw)

submitted 3 months ago by henfredemars to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

14 comments fedilink

I hate waiting for updates.

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I wish that any time someone attempted to upload an image containing a partially censored word to the internet, their connection would drop for 5 minutes. (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 3 months ago by Probius@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

4 comments fedilink

Fully censored strings are fine so that people can cover up PII, but no "sh*t" shenanigans.

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I wish everyone lost their memory all at the same time (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 4 months ago by late_night@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

11 comments fedilink

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9

I wish there was never a need for autocorrect (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 months ago by HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

12 comments fedilink

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-1

I wish I could find anything into food every time I snap my fingers. (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 months ago by HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

2 comments fedilink

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I wish for a world without the automobile. (self.monkeyspaw)

submitted 6 months ago by henfredemars to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

5 comments fedilink

Sometimes, I really feel like the invention of cars has done more harm than good. Let's go back to good times, and rely on other forms of transportation potentially better for ourselves and the planet.

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I wish for a turkey sandwich on rye bread with lettuce and mustard, and, I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. (lemmy.radio)

submitted 6 months ago by early_riser@lemmy.radio to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

15 comments fedilink

AND (because it won't fit in the title) In no way should the granting of this wish involve the country of Turkey or the broader Turkic peoples.

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I wish we shed our skins like snakes instead of small flakes all the time (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 7 months ago by late_night@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

16 comments fedilink

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I wish my own hands could grant wishes (lemmy.radio)

submitted 8 months ago by early_riser@lemmy.radio to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

11 comments fedilink

Humans are members of the great ape family, and apes are a specific type of monkey, making our hands literal monkey paws.

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I wish the Moon had a moon. (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 8 months ago by Probius@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

10 comments fedilink

I just think it'd be really neat to look up and see a smaller moon orbiting the Moon. Optionally, I'd also like the Moon to start rotating at a rate of one rotation per day so we can see more than just one side of it.

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I wish I could be rid of my allergies (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 9 months ago by late_night@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

8 comments fedilink

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8

I wish I had the super strength of Superman, with my entire body being able to safely deal with the increased forces (programming.dev)

submitted 9 months ago by ICastFist@programming.dev to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

7 comments fedilink

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I wish the thing causing my hiccups would manifest as a physical object so I could beat the everloving shit out of it with a hammer and finally go to sleep. (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by Probius@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

29 comments fedilink

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I wish all declawed cats got their claws returned to normal (programming.dev)

submitted 10 months ago by zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

3 comments fedilink

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I wish for two of the best Belgian beers ever made. (self.monkeyspaw)

submitted 11 months ago by henfredemars to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

10 comments fedilink

Would really hit the spot right about now.

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7

I wish I could have peace and quiet for a few hours (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 1 year ago by late_night@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

6 comments fedilink

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I wish my hippos were less hungry hungry (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 1 year ago by late_night@sopuli.xyz to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

11 comments fedilink

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I wish the magic hadn't gone away in Star vs The forces of evil. (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 year ago by Web_Rand@lemmy.ml to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz

7 comments fedilink