needadvice

Hey everyone, I’ve been researching cultural practices around love spells in the Middle East for a personal project. I even wrote up a blog post about it here: I’m really curious, what do you all think about love spells or similar practices? Do you see them as harmless, manipulative, unethical? I’d appreciate hearing different viewpoints as I’m still forming my own thoughts.

Aloha all,

I am in a boarding home on Oahu. I pay $750 a month and share a room with another person like myself.

It's a long story of how I got here. I was living in Thailand for six months and my mom sold her home and gave me notice to vacate while I was away in Thailand.

Having bought a non-refundable ticket to Hawaii I decided to come back here. I used to live on the Big Island, now I am on Oahu in this boarding house.

Luckily, I was able to fly back and get my car, desktop pc, and a few laptops I have. It's weird having a car and electronics while a lot of the people here seem borderline homeless.

I was in a mental health crisis center where they do not let me use the computer, go on the Internet, or really leave. The maximum you can stay at one of these places is 10 days. My tens days were coming up and my options where the streets or Department of Human Services homeless shelter.

A kind wonderful nurse asked me what I was going to do. And I told her I was thinking of going back to the Big Island and living in my car. She called her friend who runs boarding houses and got me in one.

I am so grateful that I am not on the streets. However, there are five people currently in this one apartment unit, bedbugs are eating me alive, and one of my roommates likes to take dump with the bathroom door wide open. I think another is incontinent. These are kind souls but it does get kind of depressing. The boarding home is an apartment building in the middle of all this industrial warehouses and stuff. The area is called Kahili and supposedly it's a very tough neighborhood, I guess like Compton?

I hate saying this but I was kind of counting on Hawaii being super generous and humanitarian compared to the rest of the USA. I thought I would come here and throw myself on the mercy of the welfare system. I do get EBT. I also get $1125 from SSDI which I hear is a lot from social workers. My case manager is working on getting me into group homes which cost a third of my income. However, these are highly in demand. I think she might have wanted me on the streets so I could qualify as a priority for those.

Hawaii is generous and they have a big heart. I went through something similar on the Big Island and was looked over quite well from the social workers. I think if I found myself in Los Angeles they might not care if I died in the street.

But... I have myself thinking, should I have just tried to stay in Thailand? My rent with utilities was $370 a month. Life was good and easy there. Despite the low cost I did not end up saving money but spending above my means. I have no discipline there and I probably caught herpes and yeast infection in SE Asia. However, I wonder if I could possibly get an online job. I have tried so hard to get a remote job but have only really made it to the interview stages. I figured Honolulu would be good because I can apply for in-person jobs where I am not competing that much with the rest of the planet. Plus, I have a contact at the Chamber of Commerce who refers my profile to employers for jobs and internships.

Still, I am living so poorly. I pay more money to live with people who you might find on skid row, no offense to them. There's roaches and bed bugs.

I have full on Medicare and Medicaid in Hawaii. I even have special long term care which qualifies me for certain things like group homes and long term case management.

What would you do in my situation? I only have around 8k USD in the bank. If I go to Thailand my quality of life goes up but then I have to get a remote job. Teaching isn't a stable option for me.

Or I can tough it out in Honolulu, get an IT job and work my way to remote or build some kind of life here.

I wish I was more entrepreneurial. When I'm abroad I meet people younger than myself with businesses or great careers. I have spent the last nine years in the rural Big Island where you are lucky if you can get a job at Target.

Hi all.

I am in Hawaii and almost ended up in the streets. I went from a mental hospital, to a crisis center, and am lucky I had money for a board and care.

It's really gnarly, today I saw my roommate take a dump because he did not bother to close the bathroom door. My roommates might be the type of people you find on Skid Row, but that's okay because everyone deserves not to suffer.

I am on Oahu. I have been on Social Security for mental illness for 20 years. I am thinking it would be best to try and start my career so I have so much money that being on the streets and in the boarding houses are less possible. However, I suffer from Major Depression and PTSD so I don't know if I should leave the safe enclave of Medicare in a country that doesn't have universal healthcare.

I applied for a local 7-11 and Office Max job. I'm beginning to look at other places to live which are comparable to what I'm currently paying ($750 a month). I feel like I have hit rock bottom and sometimes I just feel like offing myself somehow.

Since it's the weekend and I don't know what to do I have been playing Escape from Tarkov. However, I feel super guilty playing videos games. I did go on LinkedIn and applied for two local jobs though.

So any advice? Am I a major loser who is better off dead? How can I avoid homelessness for the rest of my life? How can I avoid getting so sick I need to go to the mental hospital? Does anyone else have a similar story?

My sister Lena’s friend (they are no longer friends actually) Ashlyn (14) seems to have an inflated ego. She thinks she’s better than everyone else and puts people down to prove it.

She specifically targets Lena because she’s there with her and Lena seems to be her scapegoat when something goes wrong. She takes her anger out on Lena and scolds her when something happens (ex: if someone drops something, she screams “Dammit Lena!”). One time, she went to our house to visit Lena and said “I SWEAR TO GOD LENA. I SWEAR I’LL KILL YOU” but then told me she was joking.

She says several racial slurs and the K-word and such to people as well because “she has the right as a black person”, even though she’s not just saying the N word.

I remember once she tried to “ruin Lena’s life” because Ashlyn apparently had a boyfriend or something but was being romantic with another guy. The first guy eventually found out and broke up with Ashlyn. This made her mad that Lena asked if she was still with the first guy (not knowing he found out and broke up).

I tried mediating something with Lena and Ashlyn in the past, but Ashlyn told me “It’s just the way I am, I’m neurodivergent with mental illnesses.”

So yeah, I’m at least very glad that Ashlyn won’t be coming to our house for a while.

my friend always thinks she’s better than everyone at everything. no matter what i do, I’m useless and horrible at everything to her, and she ditches me because I’m nerdy and not the most popular and because I don’t like sports. she hangs out with the popular girls and talks about me to them and why they should exclude me if I ask to hang out with them.

most of the time, though, she’s nice. it’s only usually in gym class, but it’s been happening a lot lately.

she’s usually nice to me and hangs out regardless of sports or my social status, but like I said, she’s been really rude lately.

she also pushes me and tells me to get out of her face but then says it’s “just a joke”…

If I mention my friend's boyfriend once, I'm obsessed with her dating life.

If I send a "gotta go" text to someone, which takes a few seconds, I'm suddenly wasting time and always on my phone.

If I calmly tell my grandma that her statement is not true, she says I'm easily offended and being a snowflake.

If I say the name of a TV show, they think I'm unhealthily obsessed with it.

I'm yelled at if I'm not the ideal, quiet girl. Is this normal? How can I let them get to know me like they want to do?

Every time I talk to my family about something, and my grandma happens to be in the room (almost always), I could bring up something such as school friends (since my family will ask if anything exciting happened), and I’ll bring up something ONCE like: “I’m so happy for my friend Ella. She’s liked this dude, Michael, for a long time, and now they’re finally together!”

Suddenly, my grandma will say “You know, it’s so WEIRD that you’re obsessed with Ella’s dating life? Why are you being so WEIRD?”

I’ll calmly respond with, “I’m just happy for her. I’m talking about things that happened at school.”

She’ll tell me that I get offended too easily and that I’m oppressing her, that she can’t say ANYTHING without me getting offended.

When I told my family that I just got diagnosed with a disorder and was trying to process it, she told me I was obsessed with “being mentally ill and making it my whole personality”, when I only mentioned being tested for it a few times.

She frequently makes comments when I say anything about a topic, and then when I calmly tell her that her comment isn’t true, she thinks that I’m upset with her and stuff.

How do I deal with the comments? I live with her, BTW.

My neighborhood has a free food pantry that is used heavily, but vandals smashed it to pieces overnight. I'm funding a replacement but having trouble figuring out the best option for something pre-built. Ideally it will be at least 5ft tall and no more than 2ft deep with several shelves. I want something sturdy that will withstand the elements, deter raccoons, and will be difficult to smash. Any price, no budget. Any recs for specific outdoor cabinets or an Earth-friendly vendor? Or should I just reach out to a local carpenter to build one?

Located in PA, USA

Edit: I spoke with my local Habitat for Humanity and they are donating a pantry for us!

I fell a few months ago and landed on my head and spine (it was the corner of an object so I landed perfectly down the center from head to tailbone).

After a few weeks of head issues it all pretty much cleared up, until last week when I started having severe back pain to the point where I can't walk much. I feel like I'm going to pass out from the pain and my whole body feels like it's burning from the inside out.

There is nothing on imaging or labwork. Strong meds like oxy did not help much if at all. I am also overdo for arthritis medication so was fighting a ton of inflammation and pain already.

What can I do until a specialist sees me? I have to wait for insurance approval and then an appointment, which could take months since they are so busy.

Am going to keep it short. Am 26 currently been working for uber and lyft. I got admitted into Arizona State University last year. My entrance exams included mathematics. I have always struggled with mathematics all my life and the most i can do is basic number sets and operations and that's it. Please don't bother recommending any way to improve because trust me i have tried. My mom is a teacher and a counselor and my dad was a teacher as well. All my siblings are well educated in math and they have tried and i have deleted my YouTube, Facebook, gym membership etc. to focus and nothing has changed and even fell in love with it but every time i would fall asleep during math's class. Please please please please, if anyone has a good career advice or any solution to bypass this and get into a career that is rewarding and deserves my handwork, i will appreciate it. I've had no zeal to move on with life anymore because of am very ambitious, good person and hardworking. I wanted to plead to my fellow humans for help and that's all i have before i make my next decision!