this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2025
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Leopards Ate My Face
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Oh my fucking god, I was joking about this a few months back.
If you ban books with explicit sexual material, you also have to ban the Bible, because it contains multiple scenes/stories/verses that are that.
Ham very likely rapes Noah, if you go by many scholar's interpretations of what 'seeing his nakedness' means and implies in the original Hebrew.
Lot's daughters get Lot drunk and rape him after they survive the obliteration of Sodom and Gomorrah.
Ezekiel chastizes Oholah and Oholibah for having 'had (their) breasts fondled' and having 'lusted after lovers with genitals as large as a donkey's and emmissions like those of a horse.'
Saul demands a wedding dowry from David of one hundred Philistine foreskins... and David brings him two hundred.
... And thats just the stuff that pops into my head right off the bat. There are many more descriptions of sex and rape... pretty sure Samson's entire story basically revolves around him being a giant horn dog for Jezebel...
What use does one have for a couple hundred foreskins? Like, do you try them on your own junk to get that uncircumcised feeling back? Make a quilt? What's the utility?
The utility is proof that he's killed 100 of Saul's enemies, and Saul is possibly hoping that David will get himself killed in battle.
Oh wow, awesome.
Then two hundred foreskins was very generous.
I wonder what the... harvest was like. 😐
Considering it was a desert region in the bronze age, I'd guess... fragrant.
Bet 🫢