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If I had a nickel for every time someone says "this person's being a huge jerk to me but I think they might be neurodivergent"
(lemmy.world)
Regular reminder that being an asshole is not a symptom of any form of neurodivergence. (You can replace “neurodivergent” with depressed, anxious, bipolar, etc. and the diagram works equally well)
ETA: social faux pas, awkwardness, and genuine symptoms of neurodivergence don’t make you an asshole. I shouldn’t have to say this? An “asshole” is someone who enacts a pattern of abusive, controlling, harassing, and/or harmful behavior with no remorse or concern for how other people are affected.
I think a fair number of self-proclaimed "neurodivergent" folks just like it because: a) They think it's a free pass to be an asshole b) They think it indicates some sort of superpower with no downsides and that they are superior to "normal" people.
Knowing some clearly sincerely neurodivergent people I tend to be highly skeptical when people assert that status in an interaction where I wouldn't otherwise be able to tell.
I've been called an asshole many times. I think most people think I'm a nice person, but to the wrong person I'm a complete asshole. If I find out you support cops I'm suddenly the biggest asshole alive. If you're a capitalist? Guess what, asshole mode wants to turn on.
That's fine in echo chambers, but when you're in a diverse group? I had to learn social skills early on as a kid, and not every autistic child learns how to adapt to a social situation. I put my example as a hard truth: We can't applaud people being assholes to certain people and then be appalled when assholes remain assholes to those aren't the acceptable group of people to be an asshole to. If I want to remain socially acceptable around cop-supporters, I have to adopt different social 'postures' like respectfully disagreeing instead of calling them boo-tlicking piggies. My tolerance for respectful disagreement only lasts so long, though, when my under-the-breath stuff starts coming out and then I know I can't be around people if I want to be accepted.
What gets rewarded gets repeated.