Dad for a Minute

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If you need a dad figure for help, encouragement or just a hug this is the right community for you.

Twin communities you might be interested in

!womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone For Women Stuff
!wholesome@reddthat.com For wholesome content

Rules No hate speech, discrimination, insults. Just be a nice internet user.

founded 8 months ago

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tired_n_bored@lemmy.world

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I shouldn't care but I do. My father has been so absent throughout my whole life (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by tired_n_bored@lemmy.world to c/dadforaminute@lemmy.world

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Hi everyone. I created this community here on Lemmy because I wish to give others what I have never felt: the love and the support of a father.

My father is alive and well, but I've always felt like he was dead. I've never received support, love, or hugs but I instead received disapproval, criticisms, insults and high expectations from him. I remember telling kids in elementary school I had no dad.

I am at an age where this should not affect me. I am an adult with his own life but I am unable to feel indifferent to it. His words (or the lack thereof) still affect me. I want him to be proud of me, at least once in my lifetime, and whenever I try to say something that I think will make him proud, I always leave disappointed telling myself "never try again".

My mother was emotionally unavailable too as she has a schizophrenia diagnosis. I don't know what I am looking for by writing this post, maybe just some nice words.

I still wish to be someone's cherished son. Thank you for reading.

Edit: Thank you to all, really. Your thoughtful comments warm up my heart.

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[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

My father was not a Bad Guy^¥^, and he made so many mistakes as a parent (I admit bias here). But he was still my dad, and as a father myself I can appreciate the certain level of “gimme” that kids (at least when super young) give their parents.

I’m a Xennial, so I can appreciate the toxicity that surrounded men and emotions (Thanks John Wayne, Eastwood, and Leery 🙄).

Navigating adulthood has been a tricky task, and having emotionally unavailable and/or toxic parents (especially dads) does not make it any easier. But it’s not impossible.

The point is that I appreciate the level of courage it takes for you to teak free of those chains and that you’re out here setting the example for other men who need this kind of example.

^¥^ He had a temper; spanking, yelling, tantrums, and violent posturing were his goto means to get you to do what he wanted. Unironically he was also a coward who hid behind the guise of pacifism to justify his inaction.

[–] tired_n_bored@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Thank you for your nice words and I am so sorry for what you've been through, but judging from your profile picture seems like your little one will never experience something like that and it makes me so happy