this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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[–] markovs_gun@lemmy.world 175 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (22 children)

Bible stories are the same way, we've just heard them a million times so they don't seem weird

"Hey Jesus what toppings do you want for pizza?"

"Plain with cheese"

Later the disciples are eating pizza with Jesus

""Hey Jesus why did you say you like cheese pizza when you normally order pepperoni?"

"You dumb fucks how dare you not understand my hidden meaning, I am the true pizza and you are the pepperoni, the grease is my blood"

"Oh of course, sorry boss"

[–] Ostrakon@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Its almost like nonsensical parables are a recurring theme in religions in general and we shouldn't be assuming a bunch of mystical morons from a thousand years ago knew any better.

[–] chaogomu@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A lot of the "nonsensical" comes from translation issues.

You're not a Hebrew farmer living in the middle east 2000 years ago, and the parable has been translated from ancient Hebrew to Greek, then to Latin, then finally into English.

The same goes for buddhist parables

I've read that some of these parables originally had clever word play.

[–] Ostrakon@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

That's a really good point, thanks for bringing that up

[–] doomcanoe@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

Clearly you just failed to grasp Jesus's message. And truly I say unto you, there shall be no pizza but through him, and occasionally at work to prevent unions from being discussed.

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