Greentext

>Be me working at gamestop
>parent asks for a game called "cod"
>tell her there is no game called "cod" but her son probably meant "Rapala pro bass fishing" 
there are lots of fish in that game and the closest we have
>have ton of copies in the back
>we have a deal on, if you buy 2 copies you get 1 free
>she buys three brand new copies of this game
>she comes back after christmas
>all three copies have been opened
>no refund because you opened them 
>a kid out there received 3 copies of a fucking fishing game for Christmas

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/29992153

>fixing notebook for a ~70 years old lady 
>comes, pays, asks about gaming tier GPUs for her desktop 
>little took back I inquire about the price range and what 
games, solitaire, sudoku, puzzle games...
>nope, I play the Assasin
>Assassin's creed? 
>yes, on my grandsons console, I just love Venice
>she pauses
>and killing people

>be me
>biohacker focused on male vitality 
>spend years optimizing my life style diet and sleep
>Ice baths
>gigachad testosterone levels achieved
>read some estrogen is absorbed by the man during sex through vaginal fluids 
>read orgasm increases prolactin levels which makes people take on nurturing roles
>stop having sex with wife
>stop taking care of son
>testosterone goes up 21 points
>Deep sleep improves and pulse lowers
>wife won't talk to me
>son cries a lot and grades dropped 
>told son to meditate to regulate his amygdala to avoid his prefrontal cortex from shutting down 

How do you anons deal with the ever growing attacks on masculinity?

Anonymous 01/04/14(Sat) 17:46 UTC-5 No. 40237147
>Go see some horror movie years ago with a friend at midnight.
>Theater is empty except some black woman up front.
>she starts yelling.
>"NAW DONT GO IN THERE"
>"WHY YOU DO THAT"
>I yell back "TELL HER"
>"YEAH SEE THIS BOI GETS IT"
>"YEAH I GET IT"
>later, a person dies from being decapitated, the woman screams.
>"OOOOH DAYUM"
>yell back.
>"DO YOU THINK SHE'S DEAD"
>"HOW THE FUCK YOU GON LIVE WITH NO HEAD"
>"I DONT KNOW MAYBE AN AMBULANCE WILL COME"
>"THEY IN THE FUCKIN WOODS"

happened yesterday night I’m typing in my room 
i haven't gotten out yet
>be me
>20
>university student
>have a best friend 
>met last year, share a lot of subjects
>naturally spend lots of time with him
>we have a friend group but we mostly stick together
>friends joke about us being gay
>we don't feel insecure and laugh with them
>get called twinks regularly by year two 
>eventually start to do these jokes myself bc my friend is kinda cute
>summer break closing in
>his parents rich
>big house in the mountains 
>they go on a vacation when break starts, leaving him alone 
>he knows my relationship with my parents is fucked, 
invites me over for summer, like last year
>instantly accept
>having a great time, we hike, laze around, play games
>one day we get home completely beat
>decide to throw ourselves a small party
>grab some drinks
>actually get wasted on some fancy shit
>my drunk ass makes more gay jokes
>say we look like boyfriends living together
>friend laughs and says he's going to make things gayer
>he leaves to his room 
>comes back a minute later, in an oversized shirt, 
booty shorts and thigh high socks
>severely drunk at this point but it clicks
>he's been gay the entire time
>never had a girlfriend
>probably took my jokes for flirting
>he is completely drunk and self unaware
>sits on my lap
>ohgodohfuck