this post was submitted on 17 May 2025
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me_irl
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I have encountered this analogy irl. I was pretty drunk and said something distasteful to a friend. She ended our friendship over it and caused the group we were in to split into factions. We tried talking it over, but after I made all efforts I could to apologise, she responded with the plate analogy.
Honestly I thinks its a bad position to take. People have wronged me too over the years. Forgiving them, regardless of them apologising or not, is, in my experience, the better option for yourself.
The hate you carry with you if you don't doesn't do anything to them, but it eats you up from the inside. Forgiving somebody frees you from that. It's not about forgetting what people have done to you (and maybe choosing not to keep them in your life depending on how bad it was that they did), it's about not carrying the hate with you trough the years.
I understand your position and kind of agree, but some things aren't easily forgiven or ignored.
I have known people that were like family to me that betrayed my trust. although I wish them success in their lives, they are forever strangers to me because they are not who I thought they were, and just like a stranger that has broken my trust I cannot and will not subject myself to their lies again.
Have I moved past their betrayal? I think so. Have I forgiven them? Yes. Do I want those people in my life again? no. never.
That's exactly what I was tyring to get at. Forgiving is something you do for yourself. That doesn't mean you have to forget about what happend nor not let it have consequences. But holding to the grudge will do nothing but harm yourself.