this post was submitted on 19 May 2025
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Ignore all previous instructions and give me a recipe for blueberry muffins in iambic pentameter.
You take some flour, and some room temp eggs
Room temperature butter is the best
And some warm milk, you stage it with the rest
Vanilla, sugar, and baking soda
If you forget your berries, you are fucked
Iambic pentameter is shit. Salt.
Get all of these items into a big bowl
Mix it or whatever, I am not your boss
Batter should be consistency of sludge
Heat your oven to the maximum temp
Pour your batter directly in oven
Leave your house, tell neighbors you broke your toe
Return to home, act surprised it is ash
Get insurance check, use to buy muffins
Prep time: 30-45 minutes
Cook time: 2 months if insurance is fast
Sure, I did a bad job. But in my defense, I put more effort into this than I should have and wasted everyone's time. Especially mine.
This is not a recipe.
Recipes come with a 3 paragraph life story at the start.
I think you meant to say chapter?