I hate this town. I hate this fucking town.

I just want to sew. I've been looking for local sewing jobs for fucking ages!!! Everyone in my area is looking for upholstery work. There's a fuckton of boats in my area that people want done. But every single upholstery shop has told me "no". Four local shops. Have a fuckton of work they want done, but they don't want to pay me the amount!!!!

A local shop finally called me back. Guy gave me 4 outdoor cushions to make and said he'd evaluate my work & pay me when it's done.

I worked on 4 cushions, 2 different sizes, complete with piping & zippers on all of them. Took me 3 days. Approximately 6 hours per day of work, a total of 18 hours, and that's the low estimate.

Got it done. Looks awesome.

He gave me 100$. Then he said I could compete with his current seamstress for jobs and he'd choose the cheaper of the two estimates we give.

I want to fucking cry. I have to take this job. Any job. I need the money.

I'M ONLY ASKING FOR LIKE 300$ PER WEEK IN ORDER TO SURVIVE???? Am I crazy????? Is that too much????

At least he gave me the job where I quoted 35$ each for 2 vinyl boat pieces.... that's 70$.. I think I can get it done in day.... wow.... 10$ an hour.... fucking wow......

I hate this. I fucking hate this so fucking much.

God, I want to cry......

EDIT: Start my own business?

During a looming economic crisis + ridiculous foreign tariffs + with real estate currently at an all-time high?

Don't think I can take the risk that right now, as much as I'd like to.