No Stupid Questions

I mean, you are stepping into this with some assumptions, then asking us to answer your questions with the, frankly wrong, framework you've already established. Like just within the context of what you've laid out, its not reasonable to expect anyone to answer. It becomes an issue of actually answering your question versus addressing your assumptions. Also, the manner in which you discuss weed: "you might not have enough time for a good high"; "I would imagine as bad as driving drunk", "a good dose of the devil’s lettuce". Its a tell that you have no grounding in experience. If you have 0 grounding in experience, what are you doing making this many assumptions? Maybe consider how little you actually know and reconsider your question accordingly.

Firstly, weed has a long and deep culture that established itself during prohibition. Getting weed from a friend or a dealer, its how it was done for decades, its still the way the majority of people I know who consume it prefer.

In-fact, many of the things you outline as "issues": they are part of the process. Walking to your friend or dealers house, often with a group of friends, or maybe piling into the car. Its part of the journey, the experience. Buying weed becomes a social activity. As far as people to know who to buy it from, guess what? Its probably at least 25%, maybe even half of everyone you know smokes weed at least occasional. If you are buying off market, its from your electrician friend, or the guy who works food service, or someones brother or sister who has a connection. You call them up, ask if they can hook it up, give them time to do their part (they usually have to go get it themselves), then you head their way, either by foot or skate board, or should you be so lucky, a car. You go, you hang out with your connection, maybe smoke a bit (but not necessarily). Its a social call. Then you get back with your friends, and you walk off to the park to smoke.

As far as smoking, you might have papers, or a pipe. Its pretty common to have both. If you are more serious, you might even go so far as to carry a dab pen and torch with you. Then you smoke. You take a hit and you cough. There can be a bit of a head rush, but thats mostly the coughing. Its a good taste. A rich flavor between tobacco and sweet basil maybe? And then you are stoned for a bit. Its not like alcohol whatsoever. Its just not like that. It does impair you but not at all in the same way. A person who has taken one hit of weed is a far far safer driver than a driver who has had even one beer. Its not like you are falling all over yourself. All a hit is going to do is just makes you a little dumb and have access to more random thoughts than you did previously, like, "Whatever happened to Jon Stamos?" or, "Do red pandas also have thumbs?". Its not dangerous whatsoever to be walking high, though it might be a bit dangerous to drive stoned. I dont recommend it, but frankly, unless you are like, extremely inexperienced (like first couple times) or extremely high (did a ridiculous amount), its just a non-issue.

The walking somewhere to get weed, scrounging up enough to buy between your friends, then finding a place to go smoke with your friends, its practically a rite of passage in adolescence. And its fun. Its a good time. The walking and going somewhere is practically the point. Its a manner of socializing. Its also something that isn't built into a "consumption oriented" experience. That's changing with dispensaries, but there is decades of cultural experience around getting weed from friends. Embedded within your question are views around consumption, capitalism, and even what the entire point of smoking weed actually is. You might challenge some of those views and consider how they are impacting your thinking.