this post was submitted on 23 May 2025
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me_irl
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I have GAD. In seconds I can go from watching a chill letsplay to an undefinable but horrid-feeling sense of panicked doom for absolutely no reason whatsoever other than apparently my brain hates my existence and randomly sees fit to punish me for it. And this is any average day.
Same, and in addition to that I have action paralysis. When anxiety happens, which is often, I'm unable to act on anything both physically and mentally. I often describe it as someone throwing a crowbar in the gears of my whole being. I just get stuck, unable to move and get out of that mental state. Simple things can take days, weeks or months, hard things just don't happen unless someone is there to help. And what's hard for me is most things, especially leaving my apartment, cleaning etc.
“BAD SHIT IS GOING TO HAPPEN!”
Okay, can you give me a clue?
“BAD SHIT IS GOING TO HAPPEN!”
I could use even a hint, if you can—
“HOLY RAGING BADGERFUCK, “BAD SHIT IS GOING TO HAPPEN!”
Thank you, brain, you’ve been immensely helpful. Truly a brain of all time.
Sigh. Here we fucking go again.
Interestingly, the one being disturbed by the anxiety is the brain, the one complaining about not knowing the reason is also the brain, the one triggering the anxiety in the first place is the brain, and the one with awareness of your entire physiology is the same brain
And the one with the tools to recover from the anxiety?
You'll never believe it, but:
That’s exactly it. Sometimes all I can do is pace while attempting deep breathing exercises until it passes, which sometimes takes hours.
The anxiety of a deer surrounded by wolves, whilst laying in my underwear watching some cartoon in my perfectly safe bedroom