this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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I understand what you're saying, however as a lesbian the last time I tried dating online I had lots, and I mean SHITLOADS, of nice chats with women who, after a week of working up to ready for a RL date, then dumped on me that they're happily married and were looking for a side piece / unicorn / partner in cuckolding / you name it.
This was with a thorough profile that clearly stated that I was looking for a monogamous life partner who was a woman or somewhere on the fem to androgynous spectrum.
I also had lots of messages from men, even though my profile was set to receive messages from women only.
In 6 months of trying every day I'd managed one date that went badly. It was bad enough that I gave up on the idea and deleted my profile, and was on my own for a year ... then I met my now-wife while doing a sociable hobby. She's bi, and not weird about it.
Fuck online dating, and fuck any women who attach "bi" to their self descriptions who just want to treat lesbians like a sex toy. It's their fault we have to put that in our profiles.
Lord those are particularly bad experiences I'm sorry you went through that. I see it differently but I understand your point of view
It's the reason the message gets put on profiles, rightly or wrongly ... sorry.
If you're serious then message them authentically anyway (maybe mention that you're single and serious about a real relationship), 95% won't care that you're bi and the remaining gold star lesbians are insufferable anyway ;-)
Just to be real, if a profile says no bi girls, anyone who is coming into things authentically is just going to respect that (or not want a partner who is okay with biphobic sentiments like that) and simply not message. Anyone you're trying to exclude is not reading that far.