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this post was submitted on 28 May 2025
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Classroom bell rings, signaling the start of the school day.
Announcements from The President on the glorious state of the country.
Pledge Allegiance to the Flag
Pledge Allegiance to the Ten Commandments
All Students Must Submit to Daily Gender Inspection
Teachers each pull out a Palestinian Flag and stomp on it, while pledging their allegiance to Israel
Burning of the Communist Manifesto
15-minute address by Steven Crowder and Joe Rogan
All students write a letter to a white person they know, apologizing for DEI
Physical Education Power Hour: All boys must oil themselves and engage in a greeco-roman wrestling match. Girls are removed to the Vice Principle's lounge for further gender inspection.
Pep Talk by celebrity athlete and/or professional wrestler about the importance of eating raw eggs and drinking raw milk
Red Dawn Drills: Students rehearse how they will repeal an imminent invasion by Islamic Communist Far-Left Feminazis
Two-Hour Standardized Testing on Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. Students are stack ranked on the results and the lowest performing child is beaten with bags full of soap
Five minute lunch break.
Classroom Bell Rings, announcing the Four Hour School Day has ended.
Students queue for the bus to the local coal mine, where there eight hour work rotation begins.
You're missing the Texas pledge of allegiance. Don't move to Texas. Don't let your kids grow up in Texas
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be ... oil men?