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Does my aunt love me from what you know in this post? (discuss.online)

submitted 3 days ago by IHatePepRallies@discuss.online to c/ftm@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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AFAB genderfluid here. You have very limited information, I know that, but whatever.

My dad came from a quite traditional family. He used to be transphobic himself and was a little weirded out when I came out as a boy on some days, but my mom was always open-minded and my dad learned to accept it.

His sister, on the other hand, never learned to accept it and stayed the same: supportive of me liking men and women, but seemingly not supportive of me being genderfluid.

One day, I said I was on my period, and she said "Boys don't get periods, so you're a girl". When I first came out, she said "Well I accept you no matter what my beautiful niece" and is always trying to get me to look and be more feminine. She tried to get me to wear a skirt a bit ago when I'm usually a guy, not a girl, and I also don't really like wearing skirts as a guy.

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[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca 7 points 3 days ago

It depends on how you define "love". Other than misgendering you, she seems to treat you well enough based on what you said.

To me, love is putting someone else's needs above your own. And it's not a binary thing--someone can generally love someone but still do unloving things at times. Misgendering you certainly is not loving, but if she otherwise treats you with respect and affection... well, it's kinda for you to decide. And depending on where she's coming from, she may even have good intentions, even when misgendering you (as twisted as that may seem). This doesn't excuse her behavior, but it may change how you view her.

The more practical question is whether you want to continue a relationship with her, assuming she continues to misgender you. And again, that's for you to decide.