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Does my aunt love me from what you know in this post? (discuss.online)

submitted 5 days ago by IHatePepRallies@discuss.online to c/ftm@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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AFAB genderfluid here. You have very limited information, I know that, but whatever.

My dad came from a quite traditional family. He used to be transphobic himself and was a little weirded out when I came out as a boy on some days, but my mom was always open-minded and my dad learned to accept it.

His sister, on the other hand, never learned to accept it and stayed the same: supportive of me liking men and women, but seemingly not supportive of me being genderfluid.

One day, I said I was on my period, and she said "Boys don't get periods, so you're a girl". When I first came out, she said "Well I accept you no matter what my beautiful niece" and is always trying to get me to look and be more feminine. She tried to get me to wear a skirt a bit ago when I'm usually a guy, not a girl, and I also don't really like wearing skirts as a guy.

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[–] elbucho@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

Sounds like she loves the version of you that lives in her imagination. That person looks like you, and speaks and acts mostly like you, but isn't trans, just "confused". She has substituted the "you" that she really interacts with for the "you" in her imagination.

So... does she love you, or just love "you"? In my experience, people tend to love their beliefs more than they love other people. I am an incredibly cynical bastard, though, so take that with a grain of salt.

I think that in order for your aunt to acknowledge the person you actually are, she'll have to first say goodbye to the version of you she invented. She might not be willing to do that.