this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2025
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Nonbinary

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Like “sparkly cis” (my own term?) or something like that? At first, I started using the pronouns he/him. Then, when I realized that I actually don’t identify as a man and that it didn’t feel right, I started switching to they/them, as I felt like neither a man nor a woman and didn’t feel strongly about gender either way.

Well, I’m fully aware that what’s in one's pants is NOT equivalent to their gender, but the thing is: I don’t really want a penis. I don’t want both. I really want neither, maybe just a hole, but the vagina I have is fine to me because it’s not a penis.

I’m AFAB and identify with feminine terms and neutral terms, like the pronouns she/they. If I’m dating someone, I want to be referred to as “partner” or “girlfriend” but not “boyfriend”. Not “man”, “dude”, or “bro”, though I also see those as gender-neutral, so I’m more okay with those than “boyfriend”.

“Homie” or “friend” is my favorite, though. I don’t even mind just “person”, but I prefer homie or friend like I said.

I feel impostor syndrome or whatever though and it feels like I’m just a cis woman with extra steps or “spicy/sparkly cis”.

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[–] jahtnamas@slrpnk.net 3 points 15 hours ago

idk, this sounds pretty outside the binary to me.

re: the pants paragraph: are you aware of genital nullification surgery?